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Our situation: a woman with early dementia is able to go out and navigate the town safely, and she enjoys this independence so we don't want to squash it. The trouble is, when she gets back to the apartment building, she sometimes forgets which door is the family apartment and ends up knocking at the wrong one, confused that her key is not working. This, naturally, disturbs people.



Has anyone got any ideas of what might help her, especially if they're based on experience? We realize that she will eventually need full-time accompaniment, but right now it's just this one issue.

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It is my own opinion that this level of problem means that it is no longer safe to be out alone.
I had a friend whose brother had dementia and was having a lot of similar issues who suddenly disappeared, vulnerable, in the depths of a large nearly city. It took the police, posters and a whole huge search to find him.l

If you are speaking of someone in an ALF facility where there are halls with similar doors almost always the answer is a special decorations, welcome mat or wreath that the elder can easily recognize, that is meaningful to him or her.
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waytomisery Jun 3, 2024
Some facilities put the picture of the resident on the door and first name in big letters. Sometimes it’s a picture of when they were a bit younger, like 60 , 65 that they will recognize themselves better .
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Sorry, but if this woman is "able to go out and navigate the town safely, and she enjoys this independence so we don't want to squash it", then she should also be able to locate her own apartment by the number on the door! I certainly hope she's not navigating the town by driving a car, because that's not safe either. Your friend's dementia is a lot further along than you realize if she cannot locate her apartment and tries fitting her key into the wrong doors! My mother had advanced dementia and still knew her suite number in Memory Care Assisted Living.

Although you think she does not need full time accompaniment right now and it's only this one issue she's forgetful of, how do you know that if you're not accompanying her about town full time??? The time is NOW to stop allowing her to go out alone. Most people wait far too long until they take action on behalf of a dementia patient....until a crisis happens and they get lost or seriously injured, unfortunately.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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I hope this woman is not driving .
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Reply to waytomisery
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Your question is saying to me that she is no longer safe by herself. She will soon be at memory care level , but you might be able to squeeze a little time in IL.

For short term suggestions you might custom make a key chain with her apartment number. Or put a photo on her door that she would recognize
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Reply to MACinCT
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It doesn't seem like early dementia at all.

Who is "we?"

Unless you are with her while she's navigating the town safely, you have no idea if it's safely or not. I knew an elderly man whose sister talked with him every week and had no idea he had dementia. They lived in different states. One day he went out to buy a new car, stopped at a restaurant on the way home to eat, then couldn't figure out what car in the parking lot was his. He walked home - several miles on heavily traveled highways - and arrived at his neighborhood only to be confused about where he lived. He knocked on a door, which belonged to a policeman who knew him. The guy escorted him home and found the inside of the house in total disarray. Vents pulled out of walls and ceilings, no toilet working, appliances piled in the courtyard, holes in the walls.

Yet everyone who knew him thought he was fine.

The way to help your person is to realize it's not one issue. It never is. Get her help before she hurts herself or someone else.
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Reply to Fawnby
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"...right now it's just this one issue."

Actually, it's probably the only issue you're seeing since you're not with her the rest of the day and night. Just because she happens to make it back home alive and well doesn't mean her adverntures on the town were without incident.

It's not a problem until it is. Someone with dementia/memory impairment is not very able to learn and retain new things (such as adding a decoration to her door which wasn't previously there), no matter how simple. If she doesn't recognize her own apartment number, she's not going to recognize anything else.

Honestly if she doesn't recognize where she lives, I'm not sure how she is navigating the town "safely"? Eventually she won't. Who is her PoA or guardian? Do they know she's starting to have show more impairment? Why wait for a disaster? If I were this woman's child I'd want to know so I could keep her safe. Which comes first? The illusion of her independence or her safety and wellbeing?
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Reply to Geaton777
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If this woman is still driving then you MUST "squash it" as she could just as easily forget which pedal is the brake and which is to accelerate, and kill or severely injure some innocent soul, just like she's forgetting which door is hers.
Someone driving with dementia is NO different than someone driving while drunk or high on drugs.
Sadly this woman is no longer independent and must not be going out and about by herself anymore, and you are definitely in denial about this women's condition, which isn't helping anyone especially her and all the innocent drivers on the road.
Time to educate yourself better on this horrible disease of dementia, so you will be more aware of not only what is going on now, but also what is to come, as this disease only gets worse never better.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Its my opinion once Dementia is diagnosed, they need to have someone with them 24/7 or be in an Assisted living.

We put a picture of my grandson on Moms door at the AL to help her find her room.
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