twopupsmom Asked July 2013
Help needed to get husband with Alzheimer's to shower.
Follow
Share
my 82 yar old husband in late 5 stage Alzheimer's will not take a shower for me, he says he's never had to be told when to shower he knows when and gets really mad if I say anything. he always thinks he just took one. I have to grab his clothes & hide them so he won't put them back on but he sleeps in his t shirt & underwear so I cannot get them. Also he is in such a rush when he wakes up to get downstairs to where I am having my quiet time, he does not wash up, brush teeth ( all his own) nor shave. I need help, I have tried everything I have read.
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
9 Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Popular Questions
Related Questions
- Dad's been saying he's going to shoot himself. Please help.
- Dad has been 'pocketing' food for a while. Today at lunch he got food caught in his throat and choked. Is this the beginning of a new stage?
- My daughter was 33, I gave her directed doses of cough and cold meds. 2 1/2 years later, told early onset dementia. Anyone heard of this?
- Can my dad, with dementia, be sad without knowing why?
Ask a Question
I also know a lady whose husband, suffering from Alzheimer's, hadn't taken a shower in over two years! He just didn't want to. She helped him hand-wash, but that was it. She was shocked when one day he actually allowed her to help him with a real shower.
Regarding his t-shirt, underwear, etc. Maybe they can be made part of a schedule also. Tell him that on shower days you also will be doing laundry, so he needs to give you his underclothes, etc. so they can be taken care of. People with Alzheimer's function best when there's a set routine. Perhaps making a set routine of the shower/laundry would help make sure he showers. You don't actually need to wash the clothes every time, but if he thinks you have to that might work.
He is still very conscious of what's going on, though not quite on the same time line as me. I write bath day on a small dry erase board sitting on his sink only works if there is an outing involved ( sometimes)
Has he always taken his shower at the same time every day? Maybe he needs a change. Would he take one before bed instead of in the morning?
As for trying everything you've read...I don't think everything's been written yet!!! My Mom and I try things we read and they never work. It just depends on the person, what stage they might be in, exactly how they're affected, etc. Everybody is different. Everything I read seems to say that the memory is the first thing to go in Alzheimer's, yet my Dad can remember people from 50 years ago. On the other hand, he has a lot of coordination problems, difficulty finding the right word, forgetting what he's talking about, etc. I found that reading everything I can on the disease is helpful, but it doesn't answer all the questions!
Do you ever just let your husband go without his shower until he decides he wants to take one? Maybe if he gets smelly enough (to himself) that will get the message across. Does he do anything that causes him to smell or sweat, etc. that makes it necessary to shower every day or every other day? Maybe if he's left to his own devices he'll do it on his own. (You've probably tried this already).
I have posted questions prior to this but you are the only person that has responded to me, ever. seems many of the " regulars" just talk among themselves. I have no where else I feel comfortable asking questions in any other settings, so thank you for being there.
how is your Mother faring through this with your Dad? As I said mine us 82 but I am 67 we have been married 26 years. I fell being a bit younger helps me through this, I would not want to be 80-82 also, way too much if a toll on two people.
You see, my father's sense of smell has gone. He cannot smell his urine or his stinky sweat. He cannot smell that he pooped and it spilled out onto his pants. He Has No Sense of Smell! So, I would not rely on hubby to decide to shower because he stinks. When father soiled his pants with urine, he said that there's no need to change his pants. It will dry up. Eeww!!!
By the way, twopupsmom, I tend to NOT click on topics when someone asks for advice for those whose husband has dementia or for those who have a spouse...I even clicked on one thread with that caption, and the poster Specifically Said she only wants those who are married to respond. After that, I just don't even bother to click on the topic when someone mentions it. Kind of rude to me. Just because I'm single doesn't mean that I have no good input to the thread. Plus I work full time - Mondays to Saturdays. I come home, prepare dinner for father and I. I have only about 2 hours of me-time before I start changing his pampers, etc... I really don't have time to go hopping around the different threads to comment. So, I stick to my home thread - where we caregivers support each other, vent, etc...
However, I AM sorry that nobody who is married and in the same situation as you have commented. Because I do know for a fact that there are lots of you here on AC who is caring for their spouse. I think you and Virtual have a very common background. Remember, if you both want a little more privacy for more intimate questions, you can both send each other HUGS or comment on each other's walls. I do that all the time with the ones I feel comfortable with. {{HUGS}} to Both of you!!!