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The residence is needing thousands of dollars in upkeep and repairs. It has a clear title and we are both in our mid 60s. I have a lifetime estate and the residence passes to my daughter when I pass. My spouse refuses to put any money towards repairs since his name is not on the deed. I live on a fixed income SSA. In order to make all the repairs, I will have to come out of retirement and go back to work at 65. My spouse is in very poor health pressuring me to go ahead and deed the house to my daughter and rent an apartment for the remainder of our lives. This could throw me into bankruptcy. Rent alone will take the majority of my tiny SSA check if I don't go back to work. I desperately need advice as I don't think my spouse has my best interest at heart.

Does he contribute to the household expenses at all?

He needs to pay rent if he wants to live in your home.

Sorry, I don't think you married a man, because a real man would fix up his and his wife's home and not be petty about wanting the asset.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Dont Listen to your spouse trust your Instincts . Come up with some creative solutions - think Outside the box .
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Reply to KNance72
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Maybe your spouse should pay you rent for living in the home? Seriously, when a married couple lives together in a home it’s fully expected that both contribute toward its upkeep. There are many instances where only one half of the couple is listed on the deed. Is there a significant health reason you cannot get a job, even part time? Many are working at your age. I’d want to work just to have a break from my spouse if he’s this uncooperative. You may also check on church affiliated and social service agencies in your area that offer low cost home repair help
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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You should line up a job but not for the answers you are getting. Once your spouse passes so does half of both incomes. You will receive the higher of the 2 incomes. Will his passing also put you into bankruptcy?
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Reply to MACinCT
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I don't understand why people stay in these seemingly miserable marriages. Is the companionship really worth the selfish and petty behavior happening here with your husband? He lives in the house to and doesnt care it is in disarray and falling apart? What is mentally wrong with him?

If you cant afford the maintenance and upkeep on your home then it is not a gift to your daughter when you die but an albatross around her neck because 20 or more years from now the house will be in even worse shape due to lack of maintenance and necessary repairs. Will she have the money to fix it up or will she live in this derelict and dilapidated house in her senior years?

You have no way of supporting yourself if spouse dies since you don't have enough income to afford an apartment. I am assuming this house is paid off. By all means go back to work. You are only 65 and don't rely on your husband to help you.
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Reply to sp196902
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Given your spouses health, could he need a facility in five years? Could you? If you gift this house to your daughter, Medicaid won’t help either of you with that for five years, whereas otherwise Medicaid won’t lien the home if either of you are still living in it.

Given the repair bills, perhaps you should sell the home for fair market value. That way, you can use the money for an apartment, or IL/AL/MC down the line, all of which are mostly private pay.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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Hi Jean - Your husband's suggestion would NOT be in your best interest - and it doesn't make much sense. I think you should ask an elder lawyer if you can take out a small line of credit /home equity loan with a lifetime estate. You can use it just towards whatever repairs you may need. Or, going back to work is a good idea as well - 65 is still young I think it's good for one's brain!
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Reply to Hopeforhelp22
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This is a complicated situation, and a lot depends on things you haven’t told us:
1) Why is your spouse so keen on getting rid of the house and moving into an apartment?
2) What does your daughter plan to do with it when she eventually inherits it?
3) In any case, can you continue to live for years in a house that needs repairs you can’t afford?

Your life interest is a real ‘clog on the title’ as you are only in your mid 60s. Your interest has a $ value, and you certainly shouldn’t just sign it over to your daughter without compensation. If she would sell the house once she gets a clear unemcumbered title, you should be splitting the sale proceeds between you. That might give you better options than renting an apartment for the rest of your life. Is this what your spouse would prefer? If so, it is an understandable reason for him to refuse to prop the situation up by paying for the repairs that are needed.

My suggestion would be that the three of you sit down and discuss all the possible ways to go forward, using a counselor if that would help you all to think about it clearly. Whatever decision you make, you shouldn’t try to alter the legal situation without getting the assistance of a lawyer (NOT just a real estate agent). Real estate titles are not something for amateurs to mess with – but first you need to work out what you all want to do.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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"Rent alone will take the majority of my tiny SSA check"
Why would husband not be contributing to the rent of the apartment?
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I think that OP thinks that she MUST live in the house, just because she has been given a life interest in it. This gives her and her husband no chance to work out what living arrangements would genuinely suit them. The life interest is NOT a sentence for what OP has to do for the rest of her life, certainly not a life sentence on her husband, and not a ‘debt sentence’ for spending their money on repairs to the house.

Please reread my previous post, about where to go from here. Unfortunately, most of the answers so far seem to me to be missing the important points, particularly by criticising the husband’s behavior.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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AlvaDeer Jun 11, 2024
Margaret, in the good old USA life interest works just according to how it is done in the trust. I am life interest on my partner's building; we live in the upper and rent out the lower flat. My life interest is written into the trust as being life interest in the lower unit as well, to rent for income to manage the taxation and upkeep of the building. And is written that it can be managed by someone I hire if I choose not to live in it. But here, in California, a life interest that isn't well written may/can have the kids come to say "She's in care and won't ever be out of it; she is no longer "living in it". We want it NOW". I can see their point in all truth. We live too long. The kids are no spring chickens themselves. I just sit about praying to "go first". Ha ha. I have had my hand raised ever since Sarah Palin promised that if she wasn't elected we would have "death panels" in the USA. I immediately said "Can we volunteer" hee hee.

Anyway, it gets complicated. I am always on AC saying "get an attorney" and the honest truth is that there is NOTHING like a good attorney when you must have one. People in our country make trusts and then simply forget to draw the property into it. Which means it is a trust protecting nothing because nothing is in it. A good attorney will see to it that doesn't happen just like they will make a POA or Trustee of Trust document that has teeth of iron.

Reminds me of Moonstruck where Cosmo tells the couple he, as a plumber only uses copper, the most expensive product there is. "And THEN, there's Copper! And copper is all I use. It costs money. It cost money because it SAVES MONEY!". That's how I feel about a good attorney.

So if we can get our hands on our OPs document about this life estate we will know where it all stands legally in her state. Alas...............that's unlikely. So I hope she has a good attorney.
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