Good grief!!!
It's only been 5 months since I became my Aunt's caregiver, and 1 month since I became Mom's caregiver.
I truly understand that it's a lot of stress, but I looked in the mirror today and feel like I have aged 10 years!!
Ugh!!!
God bless all of us that are dealing with this inexplicable situation!!
Like other poster I was an anxious mess all the time while sis was in community where less help and care for residents was more free time for staff. I finally got her into a new place a few weeks ago. So far off to a good start she actually gained a few pounds after having lost 5 more pounds in the previous 2 weeks before the move to the new place where I got to watch sis do her PT through the window-it was awesome to see her try so hard-she is a trooper under difficult circumstance with dementia and no real together time due to lock down and 3rd move in less than a year. I still worry but sleep better at night. Hubby says I am more like my "old" self now.
I'm so glad to hear things are looking up for you!!
You're doing an amazing job!!
God bless!
Today was my second counseling session. It's amazing how much is coming to light. I wanted to share because it might help some of you.
Being the daughter of a narcissistic mother, I have become an overpleaser! This means I put constant pressure on myself to do everything perfectly!
The reality is that when dealing with a narcissist and another LO with dementia, perfection is literally impossible!!
It's hard work emotionally finding the root of our reactions.
Many of you suggested counseling. I am so grateful for the advice!!
I have begun to find myself again!
I have found my sense of humor again!!
Laughing is the best therapy ever !
Maybe my reflection in the mirror isn't as bad as I think! Maybe I need to change the lens that I have been looking thru!
Food for thought!
Hang in there!! God bless!!
I looked in the mirror years ago, and finally admitted to myself that I looked sick. Caregiving for my inlaws and propping them up in their charade of independence had made me sick. I went to my doctor who knew me well. He told me their expectations were unfair, which made me burst into tears. He weighed and examined me, took my blood, etc. A few days later he confirmed that I was indeed very sick. It took me more than a year to recover my health. Stop looking in the mirror or, if you don't like what you see, make changes...or they will be made for you. Make me sick once, shame on you. Make me sick twice, shame on me.
I'm starting to check off the "must do's" on my personal issue list.
Had a biopsy Monday on a previously diagnosed abnormal mole on the bottom of my left foot.
Fingers crossed!!
Next up is scheduling that pesky colonoscopy I have been putting off!
Before I became responsible for my Mom and my Aunt, I figured everyone would be fine if something happened to me.
Now I don't know what would happen if I was gone.
So you're spot on!!
We all need to take care of ourselves!! Thanks for the reminder!!
I think it's just one of the extra "perks" of being a caregiver. What can we do about it? Not much. Bless you!
You're beautiful where it counts!!
We all need to do whatever we can to pamper ourselves!
I just hope my hair dresser opens back up before my next scheduled appointment. That always makes me feel better about myself!
It’s extremely tough with no help at all, and now with this Coronavirus it’s even more fear & stress! I’m worried about toilet paper running out, as my mom goes to the bathroom...ALOT and everyone is out of stock including Amazon!
I know I chose to do this, leave my office job in the city, and take this on full time, God help me!!! I’m starting to doubt that I’ve made a grave mistake:(
Every one of us is in a different scenario. I read posts from others that seem so much worse than what I am going through. Yet I still feel overwhelmed and burnt out most of the time.
The bottom line is that stress is relative!! Your situation is exactly that. YOURS!
I figure we're all on this site because we have a common thread!
That makes us part of a unique culture. Misunderstood and underappreciated most of the time.
We are caregivers! We matter!
We are important!
You made me realize that maybe the next time I look in the mirror, instead of seeing the stress and age on my face, I need to look closer and see the person that is whole heartedly caring for two people that can't care for themselves. Maybe I should be proud to see her in the mirror!
You're beautiful because of your heart!
God bless!!
Glad you managed to do decent haircuts! Good for you!
In truth I often used to look in the mirror in my earlier years and feel quiet satisfied, ok' ish ah I'll do kind of thing but when grey hairs began to appear and wrinkles too and now scarcely much hair left, and no teeth, and the horror of It all. No definitely not. Not even at my reflection in a shop window as I hobble past. You see I don't recognise this Stranger any more as He is but a pale shadow of that young Fella I once knew.
Thank you for your good wishes.
Polar, I need a haircut too but no way am I risking getting the virus. Too many people testing positive. They haven’t shut down salons but they don’t have any customers.
I see both sides. They need money but it’s foolish to risk it.
Then the newscaster asked if anyone could donate gift cards to hairstylists it would help them out. So many people are feeling the hit of losing money.
For anyone able to still work, be grateful. I am grateful my husband is working at home.
Best of luck to you.
I love the women who are going natural now. At least hair color. They still do plastic surgery but they are finally going gray!
I see shaved sides on men and women all the time. Young and older. Looks ridiculous to me. I don’t care though. I would not do it but whatever...plus I can’t talk because I love the crazy colors, especially the blue and purple! LOL
I managed to find it funny because, when you think it through, there was no way that question could not have offended one of us.
Plus, aged before my time or not, I am still prettier than her. Ha!!
[Can't think why she's always hated me...]
Yes, I don’t spend much time looking in the mirror - I’m always surprised by what I see. You see, in my mind, I’m about 15. I sometimes do a double-take when I glimpse myself in a mirror.
Funny about the Miss America contest, but maybe you do look that good. I currently paint only elderly people. Actually, I mostly in my career have been interested in how the years give us our character, which is way more interesting than the young and perfect.
Blessings back at ya!
Looking back, I think how much I had aged in that photo and remember how this was during the "easy time" when my sisters left me alone to care for Mom and they approved of how I was doing it.
Then, all too commonly, my sisters turned into raging narcissists. I have no photos of that time, I'm relieved not to have seen how close I was to dying from the stress.
It think when you get used to living on stress, it's hard to know what to do with yourself when you can relax.
God bless!
I at least get my hair done about every 6 weeks.
My hair dresser has also become my "Hairapist" . Lol