Dad turns 93 Saturday and can barely walk, but somehow he manages to get to his car and drive somewhere almost every day. He is sharp as a tack but he's hard of hearing and has so many health issues it is nuts that he is still driving. The assisted living facility he lives in doesn't object which surprises me. The DMV renewed his license without so much as an eye test. We want to just take the keys but his DR says he will get so depressed that would be the end. We need some support! Any ideas how we can make it easier for him to adjust to not driving?
I reported my father to the DMV and they sent him a letter requiring him to have an eye dr and other dr sign papers saying he was in good shape to drive. They didn't and he lost his right to drive.
As for Dial-A-Ride and Senior Buses, you sometimes have to sit for an hour or more while you wait for them. I see handicapped people at my gym waiting and waiting for an hour or more for their transportation. The same at the grocery store.
"There is a subscription service, ArriveRides(dot)com, where folks can call on any kind of phone (even an old-school landline), and they will arrange for an Uber/Lyft ride. An account does need to be set up first. After that, it's similar to calling a taxi."
Like you, I've met folks who never used public transportation, even taxis, trains, or buses.
Best wishes to your husband in any dealings with his family.
Can barely walk - lots of people with disabilities who can't walk at all can still drive. There are even specially adapted cars for the purpose.
Hard of hearing isn't a help, but deafness does not stop you getting a driving licence.
And being 93 does not of itself make you a danger on the road.
I hesitate to ask if you've accompanied him recently (and managed to keep your eyes open and not dig your fingernails so hard into the dashboard that you had trouble getting out of the car again) - but what deterioration in his skills can you report as a fact?
Until her car burnt down due to an arsonist! But that is a different story..
Have you been in the car with him and observed dangerous driving? Does he just go to the corner store using side streets and slower traffic areas? His age doesn't determine his ability to drive. His reaction times and close calls, if any, would determine that.
Not really enough information for us to offer suggestions - other than get in the car with him and see how he does.
You have done all you can, you are not responsible for his actions. Let it go and keep your eyes open. If he is sharp as a tack he will know when it's time to stop driving.
I have an 89 year old friend that drives, even on the freeways. She knows that she has slower reflexes than she used to and she makes adjustments to accommodate them. I think all the texters are far more dangerous than our senior population. That proof is in the statistics.
She had no peripheral vision, ran over curbs, didn’t see others running red lights, didn’t see stop signs. She would veer into other lanes and oncoming traffic, not yield to others, she couldn’t see, or she didn’t want to wait, or speed up to get there 1st. Older peoples reflexes deminish, reasoning is almost gone.
And you are worried about depression if they can’t drive?? What about the depression they have after they kill someone? Or themselves with your grandchildren in the car? What about the parents depression after he kills their child playing in their yard, Or in a parking lot? If you, or more than a couple people see what is happening, and they tell him what is going on and he still doesn’t give up “his keys” that right there tells you he is not of sound mind and can’t make good decisions.
Step up people. My gosh, if reasoning does not work, take action.
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