My husband sadly has Alzheimer's and is in a care facility as he suffered agitation and violent behavior when at home. Since being placed in the home around 18 months ago, he seemed more stable. He didn't want to wander off and whilst he did still get agitated the violent behavior abated. However, in the past few weeks he has become more violent - to the point that I'm unable to stay very long when I visit (I go every day). In the past even when agitated he would eventually calm down maybe half an hour or an hour later. Now he comes at me and kicks, punches, spits and smacks me. He is also violent to other friends of his (female) although seems to display more toward me. I'm unsure if that's because I see him more often. He has hit the carers also (both male and female) although I notice he is less violent/aggressive toward them and other residents. He was off his meds for a while (long story) but is now back on seroquil, namenda and some others. He has also recently had the doctor visit, take bloods/urine samples etc. I'm aware UTIs may cause agitation as could any pain he may be experiencing. He seems to be in relatively good health aside from the Alzheimer's. I'm just wondering why he could be getting agitated and violent again after having been stable for some time. I'd been told violent behavior subsides after a while, however I appreciate this may differ from person to person. Since my husband's decline, he has always been pleased to see me. He's always continued to show love and affection toward me - as I have him - so it's really distressing to witness him being so hostile now. I understand he is also possibly declining and this could be affecting his moods. I just wanted to share this to see if others have experienced or are experiencing a similar situation. Many thanks in advance for any responses. I'm so grateful to this community for the support I've received so far.
I hope you find an answer. Know that you aren't alone. I wish you the best and if an answer is found I hope you will let us know.
When I worked as a front desk receptionist at a Memory Care ALF in 2020, there was a female resident living there named Cindy. Her husband would come by every day to see her; well, Cindy treated him horribly, spitting at him, cussing, and literally baring her teeth at him as soon as he walked thru the door. Yet she treated everyone else with kindness, humor & respect. Nobody could ever figure out what the heck was going thru her mind when she disrespected her DH like that, yet he'd still come by diligently, every single day to see her.
People diagnosed with AD and other dementias often display erratic behaviors that nobody can explain, and they change frequently, too. As my mother's vascular dementia advanced, she too became more and more agitated and aggressive with her behaviors. Her Ativan dose would be adjusted accordingly, but the closer she got to passing, the less effective it became. Also, the more advanced her dementia got, the more infections she came down with, it should be noted.
Is your DH on hospice? If not, you may want to speak with his PCP about getting an evaluation going for him. Hospice was wonderful with mom and they were able to keep her quite calm in the final months of her life. Not 100% calm 100% of the time, but much more so than before they came on board.
I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time with DH; it hurts when they lash out at us, even though we know it's 'the disease' at play and has nothing to do with 'us'. It still hurts, it's still hard to witness, and knowing there's 'no cure' doesn't make our hearts hurt any less, but perhaps even MORE. From someone who's been there and done that, I offer you my sincere condolences for all of your pain & suffering. I hope DH's doctor can find a reason for his agitated behavior in the blood and urine tests that are being conducted right now so a med can be prescribed to control the symptoms. Best of luck.