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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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digitelhippie Think role reversal: what would your father do if you were the one needing care and resisting it? Yes! exactly. So you do what you gotta do to ensure he gets the care he needs regardless of what he says because you love him anyway. Sometimes real love is as cold and hard as steel. And don't be afraid to bring in Authority figures like his doctor, the Local Dept for Aging. They can lay it on the line for him: Either accept home care or you will be committed to an institution. God bless!
Dig - your dad is probably in denial at his ability and is physical state -it's probably related to short term memory loss. He may be afraid to get in/out of a tub and just too weak to do it. Consider chairs that sit "over" a tub or in a shower - look at gold violin (dot) com or the products section of this site for pictures. If you want to buy one quickly contact a home health care pharmacy to see what they have. Next time he heads to the bathroom go with him and insist that he bathe with your help or the help of another family member. If you let him go like this urinary tract infections and pressure sores are sure to follow - if he doesn't have one of them already. If you notice that he's getting pressure sores just call 911 and have him taken to the ER. They give run all kinds of tests to determine what's wrong and get him treatment. Once there speak with social services about his home, his condition and transfer to assisted living or a nursing home. Once our parents get to this point there is only so much we can do - to "let them be" when they aren't eating, washing or sitting until their legs and feet swell like balloons - borders on neglect. I'm not saying you've done that - your request for advice means you care but you respect your dad too much to get pushy and insist he get help That said, it's time you do it and by calling 911 - you're letting "them" EMTs, nurses and docs- be the "bad guys".
He's luck to have you and your mom to care enough to help! Tell yourself that often -he might get mad but his safety must come first. Best of luck.
well...thats a big one are there people in the family that will help him. or can you get ahold of state and have them come and talk to him and tell him what he will be up against if this keep going
Oh thank you msdiva!! I am calling home health care tomorrow. They will come out and talk with him. But i am quite sure that he will still refuse to have them help him. Tell me what he will be up against if this keeps up. Are you talking about other health problems? He swears he can walk, and bathe if he wants to. He just doesn't want to. His feet are like two balloons! I just am almost crazy with worry and I am on oxygen myself. My Mom is there(they are divorced) during the day. My other siblings are all trying to convince him that he needs to take care of this problem by letting others help. He insists that he can do it. Any suggestions?
ok i have been in situation like this with others i am a caregiver i used to be my dads but he is passed now..sometimes u half to stretch the truth in these kinda things now what i meant is what he against the odor it can cause him to get sick not bathing espeically, you said ur mother is there doing the day,ok she can get sick, Mmmm u said his feet are like balloons does he have gout? thats not good at all he has some bad circulatiom in him..if this keeps up he can be taken iut or you can go against him scare him alittle sometimes you half to do this in order for them to take care..and what i mean as going against help is legal situation if it get any worst
Some home health agencies can provide a male assistant. Contact several & ask specifically. Is there a working heater in the bath, are there grab bars, a tub bench or shower chair, soap & towelsor robe in easy reach, a place to sit once he has exited the bath or shower, a non-slip bath mat? Walk yourself through the bath routine and see if you can spot potential risks, difficulties, inconveniences, embarrassments that your father might have to contend with. Does he have range of motion problems that would make bathing uncomfortable. Sometimes seniors can't articulate just why they avoid bathing; sometimes they are just reluctant to admit having limitations. That's where an outside caregiver might be able to get to the bottom of your dad's poor hygiene practices.
Thank you Mariannette! My Dad has no range of motion at all. He can barely make it to the bathroom for personal evacuations. He is very embarrassed(his age group) to let someone see him w/out clothing. I think a bath in his undies would be better than none at all. I am not sure if the agency I have contacted has a male nurse for these kind of duties. But, I am sure going to ask. He could not even be able to get in the tub by himself. His feet and knees and hips wouldn't allow that activity. Any more ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thank you again for your suggestions and ideas and that is for everyone that has gave me ideas and advice. Keep the ideas coming! :)
It depends on whether your Dad is still in his right mind or not. Could it be that your Dad is embarrassed? In which case a male CNA might do wonders. Have an open talk with your Dad and explain to him the options he has- Home Health, caregiver in the home to help, nursing home- take your pick.
my dad was home without a hip for sometime due to MRSA I went to his home everymorning before work also had to give him IV for the MRSA so when I got him up very slowly I put him on the potty. When he was finished I just brought in a bath basin washed his hind parts at first he was embarrased and I said hey I've raised to boys and my husband is a man LOL I've seen it It don't do a thing for me LOL he laughed and when I lotioned him etc he said oh that feels so good so than he didn't mind I washed his front parts from behind so he would still have some dignity than when he was dried and redressed I came in with another basin new wash cloth and towel washed his face and hands etc. lotioned him and put clean clothes on him he said that felt good to. than I would get him to wheel chair to his living room where coffee was already opened the blinds and we would sit while his IV dripped and watched the morning news together. flush his pickline and off to work I went, I stopped in at lunch and after work as well made sure he had all his meds as my mother and I could not believe this said I never thought after all these years I would have to take care of HIM!! well what did she think till death do us part meant. Now she expects everything from me and is always comparing what I did for dad and my MIL to herself and the funny thing is she is not nearly as sick as they were physically mentally that's another story its on posts around here somewhere no need repeating. Dad was so grateful once he got over his embarrasment and I would shave him and cut his hair after work if he need either one sometimes we would go a couple days without a shave but he was washed and I wanted the MRSA to go away so I kept him clean , lotioned and powdered just like one of my little boys it brought us closer which we both needed. If my mom would only meet me halfway but she knows everything so I just leave her to her own devices as they will do her in I expect everytime I walk past her room and check on her to find her dead. She is doing nothing tohelp herself. I hope one or two of these suggestions will help you. Good luck and God Bless you
I also encountered the same situation. My dad, at first was embarrased with a female helping him, so my siblings hired a male which borrowed everything that dad owned. That being said...I took over dads care. I wake him, take his readings, medicate him, bath him, dress him, feed him and love him. This has given me the opportunity to pay back all that this wonderful man has done for me during my life. consider this a gift, and if it is possible, do it yourself.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Think role reversal: what would your father do if you were the one needing care and resisting it? Yes! exactly. So you do what you gotta do to ensure he gets the care he needs regardless of what he says because you love him anyway. Sometimes real love is as cold and hard as steel. And don't be afraid to bring in Authority figures like his doctor, the Local Dept for Aging. They can lay it on the line for him: Either accept home care or you will be committed to an institution. God bless!
He's luck to have you and your mom to care enough to help! Tell yourself that often -he might get mad but his safety must come first. Best of luck.
& towelsor robe in easy reach, a place to sit once he has exited the bath or shower, a non-slip bath mat? Walk yourself through the bath routine and see if you can spot potential risks, difficulties, inconveniences, embarrassments that your father might have to contend with. Does he have range of motion problems that would make bathing uncomfortable. Sometimes seniors can't articulate just why they avoid bathing; sometimes they are just reluctant to admit having limitations. That's where an outside caregiver might be able to get to the bottom of your dad's poor hygiene practices.
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