Her bedroom, bathroom and living room are all on one level. She eats little, a slimfast in the morning and a small dinner late afternoon. She won't stay her time there, she wants to be in front of the tv in the family room two small steps down. She uses her walker to get there, crawls the rest of the way, still uses a commode 2 weeks after surgery. How can we get her to be a little more independent and stay safe?
I get it that if she uses the commode "someone" has to empty it, but if she uses the toilet or riser or commode over the toilet, it's just a matter of a flush. Avoid contact with bodily fluids as long as possible!
Good luck!
The commode is a frame with a bucket in it. Mom has even gotten herself to the bathroom once and decided it's just as easy to get on and off of her own toilet, as it sits high enough. She just likes to be able to stand up from her recliner, turn and sit on the commode as the need hits. (Whether there's company there or not.) She has no dementia or alzheimers yet, and has full control of her mind. She is getting a little obsessive as she gets older but that's normal. Part of her issue is she likes having company, leaning on someone. She is definitely stubborn. She's retired, and will not do anything she doesn't want to do. Once she learns how easy it is she does it just fine and is proud of herself. Getting her to do it is the issue.
I guess I just need some guidance on care-giving when I know she can do it for herself, she just won't. I'm getting frustrated and maybe I shouldn't be. I love her to death but she's always been this way. She's always had other people clean her house, or do anything for her she'd prefer not to do herself.
At a guess, I'd expect a lot of 'fear of possibilities'. There are a number of generic things you might consider ..
= There are day care centers where our elders can go; transportation is usually included to and from ... The good ones incorporate physical, occupational and cognitive therapy into their activities. #1 - it gets her out of the house .. #2 - it gives social interaction .. #3 - it promotes more independence
= If she already has PT and/or OT therapists coming into the home, consult with them and see if they have some proactive measures they can recommend; if you don't currently have that service, see if her primary care physician will authorize it.
= Instead of going over to the house .. could you call her, go on speaker phone and coach her through some of the things she might be able to do on her own, but with some guidance?
About the commode. I'm unclear what you mean or why it's an issue. Is she actually sitting on it, for hours on end? And forgive the bluntness .. with her butt hanging through the hole? If so .. remind her that it's a perfect way to get hemorrhoids and zomigod you don't want that, right? Or does she put down the lid and turn it into her favorite reading chair? If so .. what's the real problem? It could be a comfort to her, and, I'll add .. a commode is usually perfectly adjusted to her height, so that it's very easy to sit down on and rise from it. It's MUCH less stress on the knees, and even though she's had surgery, she may never have the flexibility to make easy transitions to seating, as she has before. In which case .. maybe it's as simple as getting her the right chair in the living room, or providing stability/grab bars near it (the vertical kind that she can grab and use to help her transition to and from the chair). Personally, I see nothing wrong with getting a permanent commode or a riser (which are much cheaper), if it's helpful.
I'm sure others will have more to add .. I've taken up enough space, lol.
Love, Laugh, Learn
LadeeC
I think you need a physical therapy consult to get some exercises. as far as the shower is concerned it is early days yet, I would just continue giving her a strip wash. She can probably manage most of that herself. Also the commode in my view is not too much of an issue as it is difficult to get down and up from a toilet when you can't put weight on one foot. Do you have a raised toilet seat, or one of those frames that you screw onto the back of the seat? that gives you support on both sides to push yourself up. As an alternative you can take the bucket out of the commode and put that right over the toilet. I would say she is managing very well at this stage on her own and has worked out how to keep herself safe. could you move the TV into the living room along with her favorite chair? As far as her diet is concerned, I assume she is not overwieght so could you put snacks beside her chair, things you know she likes, like those little cheese balls, fruit and nuts or dried fruit and a drink. don't worry give her a hug from me.