My Grandmother, who is 80 and lives with us, recently had a complete knee replacement. She needs the other one replaced too but the Dr. said she needs to build some quad muscles before he'll do the next surgery. My Grandmother doesn't do nearly the physical therapy that she is supposed to be, and she's not senile, but on this topic she acts it. "I am doing it" (when she's not and she knows it!). I'm going to go crazy if I keep nagging her about it. Do you have tips? Are their pedometers that talk to you? Special watchers that have 12 alarms that can drive her crazy every hour and tell her to keep moving? Any way of tracking that's worked for anyone? Thanks for any input... she wants to be healthy (at least she says she does) and I want to help her, but I don't want to kill our relationship in the process
Then don't nag her about it. You can't force your grandma to do anything as you have found out. My dad was supposed to do PT exercises as well and he wouldn't do them. I offered to do them with him but he still wouldn't do them. I too tried to coax him into it, tried to tell him how important they were but it didn't make any difference what I said and all I accomplished was driving myself crazy.
My Mom didn't do her exercises like she was supposed to. She never fully recovered from the surgery. She walked with a cane before the surgery and a walker afterwards. She only had one done. She didn't get the other done because the recovery was too hard. But now she has so much pain in the other knee she can't walk. At 85 she has an extremely poor quality of life.
The compassionate side of you doesn't want to inflict any more pain on her, so you probably let her be most of the time. Nagging is not working, so motivate her using the consequences of not complying with therapy. See if her doctor goes along with you. Good luck.
-- ED
If you exercise, you could talk about how good it makes you feel. You could also talk with her friends or acquaintances to see if there is anyone with a similar situation as hers. If this person had replacement and actually followed through with therapy, maybe she'd listen. A lot of elders tune out family because they think they are being bosses around. With peers, they may be more open and even listen to them. Good luck. Remember, you can't make the choice for her, so don't let guilt eat at you.
Let her know you want to help and are there when she is ready.
Other than that - any ideas out there?
Carol