Follow
Share

My mother has given me a durable power of attorney and advanced health directive that was effective immediately starting 10 years ago.
She was diagnosed with a dementia 3 years ago but was doing well in her home.
Lately she exhibited issues with handling finances. We already pay all her bills but she still can access her money. a week ago she closed her checking account that is used for SS checks so now she is not getting checks and refuses to open another account.
SS tells us we need a form from her doctor stating that she is no longer capable of handling her financial affairs. But she refuses to see psychologist as she remembers last time she did not do well.
We don't want to go for conservancy as we have durable POA , but we need to cut her access to her finance so that she does not become brooke
Any suggesitons ?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Easy enough for me! "You have a doctors appointment, let's go. We'll stop at McDonalds on the way home!" You never saw such fast shuffling out to the car in your life!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Heard from a friend today that he oversees his aunt who has 2 sons living in another area, but have nothing to do with her. She is in her late 60's has congestive heart failure, but because of her sons, knows nothing about any insurance, Medicare or medicade. He is doing this out of the goodness of his heart, but desperate needs legal and other help. He cannot even get her any in home care which she needs because of the legalities and her sons. Any information anyone can give me to help him, I will appreciate it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Wonderful! Any time tiresome but unnessary testing can be avoided it's helpful beyond measure to do so. Thanks for your input!
Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

The psychiatrist wrote the letter for us. He knew my spouse and we didn't need to repeat the long and expensive psych testing. I don't blame your mom. I am a psychologist and we have to test until failure, which is hard for the person being evaluated.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thank you for all the suggestions. The elder care doctor tried to get her in under pretense of checking over her medication but she refused to go as it is a different clinic. I will have to go through her MD although the was reluctant to do it last time and wanted elder care department to do this.
It is a good point about opening joint checking account. We have durable POA that became effective immediately 10 years ago and it gives us a right to open an account for her. We might go this route if we hit the brick wall with the evaluation.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Get the form and take it to the MD yourself (make an appointment). Make him sign it in front of you and keep the original. Get a copy of the report from the psychologist as well as any other reports, neurology, MRI, CT, etc.
Never trust the MD office to get the paperwork done right.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

If the DPOA is written such that you can act on her behalf now, you should be able to open a new checking account in both your names. Then it's a simple matter of getting the SS checks direct deposited. Since both names are on the account, CYA by having this be a SS only account. Read the DPOA and see what actions you can do now - if you are already paying her bills from another account you shouldn't have a problem. Issues like this are exactly what a DPOA is for - you don't need moms permission to act in her best intrest.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

In the meantime, see if its possibke to go online and get her soc sec check deposited onto a debit card. I think they have an option to sign up with net spend or one of those companies where its possible to bypass the need for a bank
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Do whatever is necessary to get her to the doctor. We had a horrible time getting my mom who had advanced dementia as she kept cancelling appointments. In the meantime, she was completely unable to care for herself filthy, urinating on herself and not eating. We tried getting her doctor to make a house call - no go even though we were willing to pay. The ambulance would not go to the doctor's office only the hospital. We tried the police for a safety check - no go. We took her to the emergency - they wouldn't do a test although the doctor's said she had dementia. We were about to lie and tell her we were going out for lunch when she fell and broke her hip and finally got the care she desperately needed.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

My mom went to a neurologist and was diagnosed with Lewy Body dementia, took a couple of those tests, and went back a few months later. It was alarming how much worse she had become in those few months! Your mom still sounds sharp enough if she is able to talk lucidly with the bank and close her checking account, it amazes me how people with dementia are still wiley enough to do things like buy new cars, deal with banks, etc. ... Maybe trick her into going to see the psychologist? ....no?...Just saying, time will move things along, but yeah, take her for a 'checkup' and talk to her primary care doctor first about your concerns. You have to insist on such things, doctors seem to be too busy to really listen!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I had some issues similar to this. I had to get the same type of form completed, but I didn't have to take her to a psychologist, just her regular family doctor. She still refused to go but I convinced her it was just for a physical and that we were required to get one yearly. The dr then took her in, checked her vitals and filled out the paperwork for me. It's sad how many roadblocks you come upon while being a caretaker. Doesn't seem like anyone cares, including the doctors most of the time.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I would think that writing a letter to her primary doctor about the problem and then making an appointment to have, say, her blood pressure checked or something like that to get her in, could do the trick. The doctor could ask simple enough questions to feel comfortable signing the forms, especially if he or she has the records from the psychiatrist.

Good caregivers can run into barriers that are frustrating - even infuriating. I hope that you can get this straightened out soon.
Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If your main issue is getting SS paying again you need to see someone there. SS does not recognize POA's. They have their own form that must be completed. Was the bank talking about getting SS going again?

Is the POA a standing POA? Or a spinging POA? The springing requires that some sort of incapacity be determined many times by two doctors that will document the reason she cannot handle her own affairs. If the POA is standing it does not require determination of capacity. Yes, laws about POA differ from state to state. Was the POA prepared by an attorney? If so, call that attorney to determine what is necessary in your state. Hopefully that attorney specializes in elder law. Mom's money should pay for that. If you think dementia is an issue it is very important that legal affairs are in order now. Sounds as if Mom is competent enough to be able to determine how ahe wants her affairs put in order. Do this asap, you will be glad you did. Then find out what your responsibilites are as POA. Not at all an easy job.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

with your POA can you open a bank account w/her name and your name together so SS has a place to auto deposit her checks and you take care of electronicaally to pay bills from? will her Gen Prac. Dr sign the same form for you re finances-my MIL's did and my husband does all her finances now.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I am not sure which state you live in so the POA laws in your state might be different than my state of PA. My company acts as a professional POA. We have a nurse (our employee) do cognitive screening as part of an assessment process. We go into the home and say we are there to act in her best interest and as her advocate. We develop a relationship of trust with her and act in her best interest and we can usually get the cognitive screens done without them recognize it because we ask medical questions and life questions in the process and will come to the homes a couple times if needed. Once we gather the information we come up with a plan. It's usually better when a person is still doing ok and we get to know them. Doctors usually do cognitive screens in their office so you could try it at her routine PCP appointment.

I would suggest taking the POA to the bank and sharing the situation with a manager of your branch. Once the legal department of the bank approves the POA (in our state we don't needs to prove lack of competency in our state) you should be able to manage the money. The legal department approval usually takes 2 -3 weeks. A recently signed POA is easier to get approval. We will move large sums of money into another account and put an acceptable amount of money in the account that people can spend. If people have a cognitive decline they usually don't recognize that the funds are limited.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter