Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Mallory I was exactly where you are a year ago. Then mum fell and during the fall she soiled herself completely and utterly it was everywhere. The paramedics came and took her upstairs and gave me a set of gloves and asked me to get the worst off while they held her almost hovering over the toilet - I didnt think twice about it to be honest. Once the worst was off I wasnt even thinking when they said can you just shower her bottom please - of course they didnt want their ambulance reeking oif faeces and I did it without questioning. Once Mum was better though it became a problem again. However following TIAs and UTIs my Mum isnt My mum any more and it really isnt like its her who I am showering. Mind over matter - her mind is going so it doesnt matter. It took me 3 or 4 months to stop vomiting after I had showered her - thats a me thing I wasnt so much embaarrassed as disgusted with what I was doing - but everyone was right you can get used to anything in care if you have to.
Im lucky my mmum likes the shower but it hasnt always been easy. I heat the shower by putting the shower on and laying a towel on the seat so it too gets warm. Mum used to be reluctant until I finally established it was because she was cold. We have a bath sized shower (we took the bath out and put a shower in its place). She gets into the shower in her vest pull ups and slippers and then I take them all off IN THE SHOWER. I stay in the shower with her and yes I get drenched but she feels secure if I am with her. I shower her and dry her in the shower and also cream/talc her etc and dress her before i get her out so it becomes a one room thing. Everything gets done in the shower. I make sure the room has flowers in it (ok ok so they arent real but she doesnt know) I always spray it with lavender cleaner and use lavender air feshener and if she is a bit grumpy I tend to put on some old tea dance songs and that seems to cheer her up. As for the actual shower while I would use a scrunch and shower gel for her I use a flannel and soap and loofah because thats what she remembers. The shower has 4 rails in it so she has something to hold on to to make her feel secure and the chair we have has a scooped out front so I can get to her front bits and arms so that she can stand more easily. Hope that helps hun xxxxxxxx
I would start by warming up the bathroom and the towels. Keep her in her bathrobe. First do lower legs, using a hand held shower. Work your way up slowly. Then do the arms and OOPS get the robe wet. Let her cover her face with a dry washcloth while you quickly wash the hair. Now the robe is soaked, and she will want it off. Good. The shampoo has become her torso wash. Dry quickly to avoid a chill. If you get more towels wet, who cares, they make the bottom of the tub safer. Let her play with the shower head if she wants to. Have big warm towels ready for the final wrap up, maybe even another dry terry robe. Clean slippers too. Blow dry hair on LOW, it is gentler and quieter. No rush to dress. Keep warm with a fluffy quilt until she is totally dry. Keep talking to her constantly, distract her with questions, promise tea and cookies. Be as calm as you can, that's how the aides do it, reassuring confidence.
I took care of my parents and had to shower my mom. I looked at it as returning the favor. She changed my diapers and bathed me as a child then it was my turn to do the same for her. :)
Oh Corki if only i had felt like you. I couldnt disassociate at all until Mum started to lose the plot - then it was easier ...much easier. I can now do it in her lucid moments too - I do it in a very specific order and its absolutely not negotiable but weirdly that seems to work better for mum Kathi As for the nuts and bolts of how: unlike others I start at the top and work down the ways. She holds the face cloth (in UK flannel) over her face while i wash her hair then I use a face cream wash on her face and wash that off. I use a flannel with a very very mild exfoliant on her back (it in an oil base so it leaves her skin really soft and smooth. Then I wash underams and arms fromt and under boobs tummy and lower abdomen then I do legs and feet . Finally I do the genital area but I keep a separate set of flannels white for face soft colours for body and grey for genitalia that way I can keep cross infection to a minimum - same with the towels white pastels and dark respectively. I wear vinyl examination gloves all the time and also for any creams or pain relief gels because I dont want to transfer infection nor do I need pain relief in my hands!
We have a seat in the shower that is really sturdy and it gives me the chance to ensure she is thoroughly showered and rinsed. I used to use a hair drier to dry her but the OT went loopy because although I have a safety cut out I was still taking a heating device into a shower - I think she had seen what women want with Mel Gibson and was frightend I would electrocute her!!!.. in the summer its much easier because I can take her through into a different room but its a bit too chilly to do that right now. I ALWAYS take the opportunity to conduct a thorugh search of her body for any abrasions/bruises/broken skin although in fairness the worst I see is usually slight redness in the groin from her pampers or under her boobs from her aha type bra. If I catch it early enough I find the best thing to use is vaseline (petroleum jelly???) if not then cavilon or one of the myriad we seem to have accumulated in the bathroom cabinet. As for creams I use diprobase especially on her legs and arms where the skin is quite crepy. Do make sure that you dry carefully between the toes and under the toes. If I do use talcum powder which is rare I put it on to the towel and then dust her with the towel. Hope that helps you Kathi
Me too.i said i could never and i mean never shower mom! Guess what I've been bathing and change her 7 years now. you'd be surprised what you can do when you love someone
For me its not a question of love but reality. I know I do a better job than the agency carers did although toi be fair it was that that got me to take it over in the first place - if a jobs worth doing then do it yourself sort of thing. It was a job that had to be done thoroughly and when they couldnt even wash the shampoo out of her hair properly it was time to say OK I will do it - that and the fact that we never knew when they would turn up and Mum would fret about having a shower till it was easier on my nerves to say I will do it. I would never have thought I could have done it but you grit your teeth do it and fret about it after - for me that meant vomiting but I dont any more
My Mom always took baths, so I have to get her in there. It is becoming more difficult and I mostly have to wait till she is in a "good" mood and make the suggestion about her taking a bath before I get in there. Usually she fights at some point. Trying to get her hair washed?? That is worse. I like some of the showering techniques provided here, maybe somehow I can incorporate but for the bathtub.
I have been told that the main reason Alzheimer and Dementia people don't like to showeris because they can't see white. They actually can't see the water flowing through the shower head, and they are frightened. I have also been told to give them water or liquids in a dark glass or cup. The clear glass is not visible to them. marymember
Francis you can wash hair in bed if you use an inflatable shampoo basin bathing aid. You can buy them on Amazon but be warned you need a mattress thats not soft or you will have water everywhere. We have a hospital mattress and that would be great. You could also give her a head massage using a dry shampoo BUT I have found a you tube video that is quite simple. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC6a0B8HKHw - If you want to see it at work then https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE9zK2QhZYE. Dont you just love youtube!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
As for the actual shower while I would use a scrunch and shower gel for her I use a flannel and soap and loofah because thats what she remembers. The shower has 4 rails in it so she has something to hold on to to make her feel secure and the chair we have has a scooped out front so I can get to her front bits and arms so that she can stand more easily. Hope that helps hun xxxxxxxx
Dry quickly to avoid a chill. If you get more towels wet, who cares, they make the bottom of the tub safer. Let her play with the shower head if she wants to. Have big warm towels ready for the final wrap up, maybe even another dry terry robe. Clean slippers too. Blow dry hair on LOW, it is gentler and quieter. No rush to dress. Keep warm with a fluffy quilt until she is totally dry. Keep talking to her constantly, distract her with questions, promise tea and cookies. Be as calm as you can, that's how the aides do it, reassuring confidence.
Kathi
As for the nuts and bolts of how: unlike others I start at the top and work down the ways. She holds the face cloth (in UK flannel) over her face while i wash her hair then I use a face cream wash on her face and wash that off. I use a flannel with a very very mild exfoliant on her back (it in an oil base so it leaves her skin really soft and smooth. Then I wash underams and arms fromt and under boobs tummy and lower abdomen then I do legs and feet . Finally I do the genital area but I keep a separate set of flannels white for face soft colours for body and grey for genitalia that way I can keep cross infection to a minimum - same with the towels white pastels and dark respectively. I wear vinyl examination gloves all the time and also for any creams or pain relief gels because I dont want to transfer infection nor do I need pain relief in my hands!
We have a seat in the shower that is really sturdy and it gives me the chance to ensure she is thoroughly showered and rinsed. I used to use a hair drier to dry her but the OT went loopy because although I have a safety cut out I was still taking a heating device into a shower - I think she had seen what women want with Mel Gibson and was frightend I would electrocute her!!!.. in the summer its much easier because I can take her through into a different room but its a bit too chilly to do that right now. I ALWAYS take the opportunity to conduct a thorugh search of her body for any abrasions/bruises/broken skin although in fairness the worst I see is usually slight redness in the groin from her pampers or under her boobs from her aha type bra. If I catch it early enough I find the best thing to use is vaseline (petroleum jelly???) if not then cavilon or one of the myriad we seem to have accumulated in the bathroom cabinet. As for creams I use diprobase especially on her legs and arms where the skin is quite crepy. Do make sure that you dry carefully between the toes and under the toes. If I do use talcum powder which is rare I put it on to the towel and then dust her with the towel. Hope that helps you Kathi
See All Answers