A well intentioned former caregiver who charges my mother by the hour and wants my mom to move home secretly takes her to her home. My mother doesn’t tell me that. We haven’t done anything with her home or furniture because we’re waiting on LTHC approval. These visits are terribly upsetting and she becomes isolated and combative with staff when she returns. I’ve taken a hands off approach but this is becoming a problem.
Anything done in secret is problematic, if it is okay, what are you hiding?
I would contact the caregiver and tell her what her actions are doing and that she needs to stop doing anything that causes mom so much upset.
If she chooses to ignore you, you can file an injunction for no contact.
I would also change the locks on the house, she could be helping herself to what she wants.
On the other hand, you can let them deal with it and live with her meltdowns. If they won't stop the outings after you put your wishes in writing they are playing with fire. If something happened while she was out, they would be responsible.
This is a tough one, picking your battles when you have someone that alleviates your burden is difficult.
You don't pay this caregiver now do you? If so, why.
This caregiver has stepped way over the line. It's time for a hands-on approach.
Have you spoken to the AL social worker about not allowing your mother to be taken off the premises without your permission?
The caregiver sounds as though her intentions are for her to be paid as your mother's full time caregiver; she may be trying to get mom thrown out of the AL. I'd shut this down ASAP.