My dad passed away two years ago, and left me with an increased responsibility for my mom (69). Up until the day he died, my dad did everything for my mom, and she was very dependent upon him. She suffers from short term memory loss, heart issues, and is currently on about 20 medications. AND she is a compulsive hoarder whose condition has increased rapidly since the death of my father.
I live about two and half hours away, and my sister lives about 4 hours away. In the past year, we have become increasingly concerned about the safety in her home due to a LARGE amount of clutter from hoarding and now even some pet hoarding. Her compulsive spending has increased and her life insurance proceeds are quickly diminishing as she spends great quantities of money each month on more "stuff".
My sister and I feel that it is time to step in, and even perhaps move her to a safer uncluttered location (my sister has offered my mom a place to live with her.). My mom refuses to leave her home and all of her "stuff" that she is so tied to due to her compulsive hoarding.
We do not have power of attorney or any other legal documents. What if any are our first steps to move my mom into a safe clean environment? Is there any legal steps that would need to be taken to limit my mom's spending to what is reasonably necessary to prevent her from spending everything she has through her compulsive spending ? In the past two months, she has spent about $25,000 on stuff and at the rate she is going, she will run out of money in two years.
Help...with the compulsive hoarding and unsafe (and unclean ) living conditions, the increased dementia, and an extremely strong will, she is becoming very difficult to reason with. Any steps that could be recommended would be greatly appreciated.
Unless she's open to therapy your mom's hoarding will continue. The best you can try to do now is damage control. Or, as pamzimmrrt suggested, go for guardianship. She has to be protected from herself.
And if mom decides she wants to go live with your sister the hoarding will continue and become a huge issue in that household. Changing locations doesn't stop hoarding. Your mom will bring the hoarding and the anxiety with her. And your mom may be unable to pack in order to move as she won't be able to get rid of anything. She'll insist on moving the hoard and put her foot down.
These are a lot of issues that need to be taken care of. I would forego them all and obtain guardianship over your mom. Then all of this stuff I mentioned will be under the umbrella of the guardianship.
I get the feeling she is taking way too many medications. Someone needs to do a serious review of them and get rid of the ones she doesn't need. I doubt that anyone needs to be on 20 medications! My mother is on seven and it seems a lot to me. I don't know if I could even manage 20. I wonder if so many is doing more harm than good.