I want to care for her instead relying on others. She does not have medicaid. She has medicare and blue cross security.
My father was a veteran and is no longer with us. She has dementia and needs assistance with daily living activities. I work a full time job and want to be there with her .
Here are some things to think about if one is trying to decide whether to quit work to care for an aging parent.... on average if a working person quits work he/she will lose, over the years, between $285,000 and $325,000 which includes loss of salary, plus net worth loss of the health insurance, loss of money being put into social security/Medicare, loss of other benefits such as matching 401(k), profit sharing, etc. [source: Reuters 5/30/12]
If your Mom can pay you for taking care of her, then your Mom could pay a professionally trained Caregiver to come in, thus allowing you to continue to be employed.
Go to the Medicare.gov website and roam around to find out what is available.
Can she afford to pay you? If so, treat it as a business transaction, withholding and reporting taxes, etc.
My father was a veteran, retired with 20 years, but he took the larger retirement that ends when you die, so that they'd have more money when us kids were little, but it left Mom with nothing extra when he died surprisingly early.
It's just something to consider, as your earning years are better the younger you are, rather than returning to work later in life.
I called the VA for my mom and there weren't any caregiver benefits, but they suggested we make an appointment with a benefits counselor. I didn't get the impression that she'd be eligible for much but I figure it's worth making the effort to find out. You should at least call the VA for an appointment to see if there's anything she's eligible for.
If your dad was a veteran, see if your Mom is eligible for Tricare medical. In our home town, the Marine recruiting office helps people determine their Tricare eligibility. It's a community service they provide at set hours during the week.