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He is 79 and the dementia is getting bad. He is mean to her a lot which causes her to react in anger. I have never heard her say anything to him like that and she cries to me all the time that her grandfather doesn't like her. Her and I currently live with my parents and wonder if I need to move out for her safety and well being.

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Excellent advice. I second the concern about losing custody of your daughter - she's being exposed to a very hostile, negative, possibly dangerous environment.

If there are financial issues of finding your own place, seek help through a local women's shelter. If you have to, go to a police station and ask for help in finding temporary shelter.

The sooner you both leave, the better. Your daughter is already displaying signs of trauma.

Is your mother in danger also or is your father directing his hostility only toward your daughter?
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We are going to my sisters house now. Thanks everyone.
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Um, what do you mean when you say he's "mean" to her?

Additionally, the thinks she wants to KILL him? Are you saying that you are allowing your 5 year old to interact with a paranoid, delusional person?

Ma'am, you are in danger of losing custody of your child, and for good reason. You are exposing her to potential physical harm, but worse, the psychological harm that this is doing to her psyche and the physical harm it's doing to her brain are enormous. Get out and ask her doctor for a referral to a therapist.
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You should move outs soon as possible. Your daughter deserves as normal a childhood as you can provide. She deserves to be surrounded by people who make her smile...laugh...who love her to bits and pieces. What she doesn't deserve is to be around a crazy-crabby 79-year-old.she only gets one childhood. It should be filled with as much joy as you can provide. Don't think for a minute that you can explain her gramps' dementia to her. She's way too young for adult problems and concerns.
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Move out with your daughter as soon as you can.

How is your mother planning to manage your father in your absence?
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Denise, you are one smart and brave mom. You will be able to analyze the situation much better from afar, I guarantee.
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No child should be subject to seeing and hearing this. Does your father's doctor know this is happening? If not, get your Dad to the doctor as soon as possible, the doctor might be able to prescribe something to calm his nerves.

If the medicine doesn't work, then move out immediately. No small child should be subject to that, it could affect her later on in life. Your Dad's dementia is only going to get worse. Have your mother come visit her grand-daughter once you settle in.
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Good God Yes! Not only is it not safe a mean, grouchy, demented grandpa can't be any good for the emotional health of this child.

Sorry to be so gruff but dementia can cause people to do things they would never do in their right minds. It can be hard to accept that this is not his fault, it's the dementia. I would not leave unattended with him.
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Get them both into assisted living. Use the money from selling their home to pay their way.
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Oh, and re mom telling you you're over-reacting? Don't buy that for a moment.
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