Father in law with AD secretively got married and now bank accounts have been changed. Any advice?
My father in law has stage 5 AD and went on vacation with his girlfriend and got married but didn't tell his family, only hers. My husband is POA and we just got a letter today that the address of the IRA has been changed. We called and he said he didn't make any changes but then a few hours later talking to the new wife she said they had to make changes. He then yells at us and said we are only after his money and he changed his trust and its none of our business. We just talked to an attorney last week about getting conservatorship and guardianship but all of this has now happened. We wanted an annulment but seems impossible in the state of Iowa. This is such a mess and we are very concerned for his health and well being. I feel for everyone else that has had to deal with this. His psychiatric evaluation 3 years ago came back that he was extremely low functioning. Surely we can get him declared incompetent. She refused to sign a post nup. She has isolated us and tells him we are after his money even though we have been POA for 2 years and never took a dime of his money. Almost every attorney has been telling us not much we can do. Anyone in here in state of Iowa and had success?
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I know I would have hit the roof if my Dad had done that. Companionship is one thing, but marriage??? You would think there would be one way to reverse this marriage because of your Dad's advanced dementia.
I don't think you could get much information from the holder of the IRA, but you could raise issues by contacting them and asking what data they required to change ownership, i.e., do they have a notarized statement from your father adding her to the IRA...something like that?
I understand that she may have exerted undue influence on him and that's why you write that she (not he) has changed documents to benefit herself; my point was only that SHE can't change anything; your father has to sign to effect changes.
I'm wondering what practice area your attorney specializes in. I recall reading sometime ago, online, that people with dementia at the level of being unable to make decisions can't enter into marriage or divorce contracts. I don't recall the citation;, this was several months ago, and this is JUST a recollection. It seems though that the legal advice you've received is to the contrary. This is why I wonder if an attorney in the elder law practice area gave the advice you cited, or if it was an attorney who practiced in a different area.
What I'm thinking though is that you might want to consult an elder law attorney who might be more knowledgeable on elder abuse to ask about the marriage situation. Attorneys who aren't up to speed on fields outside their practice area may not necessarily be aware of the laws affecting dementia.
There have been other posts on similar situations. One, as I recall, involved a woman who might have been practicing this tactic repeatedly, focusing on older men with dementia, targeting them and going for the money. Think about getting some background research done on her, with a private eye if necessary.
How did he meet her? Were they friends before they went on vacation together? Is she new to the area? Where did she live before? Was she married? Has she been married a few times? What's the status of any previous husbands?