Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Has he got dementia type things going on and doesn't remember breaking stuff? My mother-in-law hides her precious things all the time and then blames the staff at her asst living of stealing them. It's like a treasure hunt when I go to see her.
Sometimes I think he has dementia because he does not remember some things. I am just not sure. Most of the time he is living in the past. He is consistely telling us how things are run in Cuba, but what he is talking about happened 50 years ago, not today. My husband reminds him of this and he says he knows it was 50 years ago. He is always talking about what his mother and father did and what he did in school.
I've noticed with my mother-in-law that when she's talking now about 'dad' she's not referring anymore to her husband, she's actually talk about her own father. She talks more about her upbringing then she ever did before. The worse her memory is getting, the farther back in time she's going. weird.
Has you mother-in-law been diagnosed with dementia? Does she eat a lot? My father-in-law eats all the time, from morning to night. He does not gain weight because he walks everyday, all over the community. If I want to keep something for my husband's enjoyment, like cake, I have to hide it, because it will be gone in a short period of time.
Sounds like fil is suffering some type of dementia/alzheimers. With Alzheimer's the person has no short term memory, but the stories they can tell from years ago! Quite fascinating to listen to. Has he seen his doctor for a diagnosis? That would be the first place to start. It's good that he is eating and is getting exercise....as they age and start to slow down the appetite will also slow down...and I have noticed they tend to develop a sweet tooth. The doctor may determine that fil needs an antidepressant which may make his behavior improve....remember they get depressed because their loved ones and peers have gone on and they feel like they are alone....they get frustrated because they are not able to do the things they enjoyed before.....simple tasks become almost impossible without help. Keep a supply of "special food" that your fil likes and that he knows where to find it when he wants it. Unfortunately you may still have to hide your husbands favorites......it just becomes part of the routine. My best wishes for you......................
Thanks for you advice. You are right about the special food which I will do right away. The one thing that is worrying to us is that he leaves the buffet range on when he is cooking, he goes to another room and forgets about it. The smoke alarm is consistenly going off, thank God for that smoke alarm. After it goes off he says he does not know why it went off even though the kitchen is full of smoke. We have to make sure he has no reason to cook anything before we got out or leave for an extended period of time. He goes to the doctor all the time but his doctor has not contacted us and I am not sure they would. That is why I think my husband needs to go and see his doctor.
Does your husband have POA? If not, the doctor cannot discuss anything concerning fil with you or your husband. It is illegal for him to do that. At this point I would render the range temporarily unusable before an actual fire starts...such as leaving a towel or pot holder on a hot burner. When my husband and I had mil house built, we had a microwave/convection oven installed and an electric cook top. She just cannot comprehend how to work the convection, has stopped using the cook top and microwaves everything. Works for her by still giving her the freedom to fix food herself. If she should decide to use the cook top again, I will just unplug it...she will never figure it out.
My husband does not have POA. Both names are on the his bank account but nothing more. I am sure he has designated my husband to make medical decisions for him if he cannot. I am not sure if that would allow my husband to speak to his doctor. If I disable the range, he will just go out and get another one. We tried that already. He thinks the microwave is some kind of computer monster and won't go near it. When he has used my glass top stove it took me forever to get the scratches off the glass. The best food answer is for him to get the delivered meals for the elderly or have his meals with my husband and I. We have approached him with both options and he has rejected them both. If the fire alarm continues to go off I may have to tell him a little lie, that every time the fire alarm goes off the fire department is notified and for every false alarm we are charged $200.00. I can tell he fire department calls everytime the alarm goes off and if it is a false alarm they charge us. He will not know the difference because he has set the burglar off by mistake and the police did come and they did charge us for a false alarm.
If he has designated your husband to make medical decisions, then that is a POA...but it needs to be on paper and signed. I think now you can download one online, have it signed by fil and husband and notorized. And then your husband can speak with his doctor and get the information. When we did mil's my husband is POA, if he is unable or unwilling, then it falls to me. I take care of her and since we both are in the medical profession we have no problems dealing with doctors, hospitals, etc. The banks were a little more difficult but now we are on all of her accounts so again no problem. As for the meals I know it's hard....when we moved mil into her house, which is attached to our house, we had Meals on Wheels started....well that lasted one day, she did nothing but gripe so we cancelled. Her appetite is not good unless we feed her. She was eating a lot of Banquet frozen dinners, but has stopped that in the last couple of weeks. Tonight hubby and I had dinner with an old friend, and brought her back real Italian ravioli........she is chowing down as I write....lol. Would fil be happy if you fix the meal and bring it to him? It sounds as if he doesn't want to lose the independence of being able to cook for himself. That loss is hard for them to deal with and something that is not easily accepted. Unfortunately it doesn't get any easier......Keep in contact and good luck...I know how much of a handful they can be.
Thanks Jam for all you good advice. I am going to try what you said and just cook his food and take it to him and maybe he will get use to it. You are right he wants us to think that nothing is wrong with him and wants to remain independant. I am not sure if he will sign a POA but I have to tackle it anyway. My husband is reluctant to do anything because he wants to believe his Dad is fine. When he hears that fire alarm however he knows all is not right. Thanks again, I really appreciate your help.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
As for the meals I know it's hard....when we moved mil into her house, which is attached to our house, we had Meals on Wheels started....well that lasted one day, she did nothing but gripe so we cancelled. Her appetite is not good unless we feed her. She was eating a lot of Banquet frozen dinners, but has stopped that in the last couple of weeks. Tonight hubby and I had dinner with an old friend, and brought her back real Italian ravioli........she is chowing down as I write....lol. Would fil be happy if you fix the meal and bring it to him? It sounds as if he doesn't want to lose the independence of being able to cook for himself. That loss is hard for them to deal with and something that is not easily accepted. Unfortunately it doesn't get any easier......Keep in contact and good luck...I know how much of a handful they can be.
See All Answers