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Please offer advice on how to handle, this was shown on social media and is so sad for his grandchildren and still living wife who are in the same town, help!
Are they prosecuting? What was the purpose of the video. He needs help. There must be some underlying reasons, don’t you think? Is this a new behavior?
I don't believe so, it was more of a shaming for people to know he's around. It was on a local thief community video. We do not live in the same town and he is lonely, has become a hoarder and refuses any help, all advice is greatly appreciated, we are so sad...thank you
The purpose of the video was no doubt to shame him and tell others to watch out for him. I would contact the person who posted the footage and explain that he’s not in his right mind. Hopefully they will take the video down. If the video was posted in a Facebook group, you might be able to get the group admin to remove the video. I’m so sorry, social media has enabled people to call out everything and anything under the sun without considering the impact.
Go directly to the garage sale person posting on Facebook, return the items and apologize. Explain that your father has a dementia or Alzheimer's (whatever he has).
Post a Disclaimer on FB stating only in America innocent until proven guilty, elderly man forgot to pay, or something like that. Restitution was (paid, offered and accepted, offered and declined). The intent of the poster does seem mean, or not understanding your father's vulnerabilities.
Shop with him.
Some caregivers carry a card which states: "The person I am with has Alzheimer's", "Thank you for your patience."
If the FB conversation continues, you can state things such as: trial by FB.
Sorry you live in a town that resorts to establishing this sort of “protection” against petty theft. “Petty” seems to be the right word for this whole incident.
None of you, not your FIL nor any of the family who love him, have reason to be personally embarrassed by this painful incident. You now know that vigilance is required when he is in circumstances that can trigger his urge to “collect”.
It is is a wake up call, and Sendhelp has provided some excellent, empowering suggestions for management.
Now promise yourself to forgive him, and more important, to forgive yourselves. And if you can, forgive the person that may have just been ignorant of the scourge of this disease.
Hopes that you are soon able to put this behind you.
OK, So off to the folks with the Gargage Sale and explain, and I hope they are ashamed to have put it on social media without knowing the story here. That's that. Even if they don't, so what. And no one is putting Dad in jail for lifting something at a garage sale. Absent minded as I can be when anxious I am always afraid I will have some blasted can of tuna in my hand and walk out the door with it unpaid for. However, this could be a larger problem at the KMart of the Target. So Dad clearly needs someone with him in store now. Sadly. Or deal with it after it happens. So sorry for what you and he are going through, but Social Media is what it is, which is often enough trash trashing.
Social media has become SUCH a gigantic nuisance in our society, it's absolutely ridiculous. "As if" your father in law is such a menace to society that he's going to hold up the local bank or rob the next door neighbor at gunpoint.
Hoarding is an anxiety disorder associated with OCD. You say your FIL is very disconnected, so I'd get him to his doctor for a cognition test right away. Perhaps he's suffering from dementia in addition to anxiety, and some medication may help calm him down in general. The first step here is to see what his doctor has to say, and go from there.
I'm so sorry you're all having to deal with this. Too bad the poor old guy wasn't cut a break, huh?
Thank you everyone for the support and advice! We were able to get the person to take down the humiliating video and Dad has acknowledged he needs help and has made some calls, We will help in follow through. Blessings to all and thank you!
Gee, why would somebody be so cruel as to punish a whole family this way, with that damn social media? An old guy that steals some piece of junk at their garage sale, should not make them want to ruin him in the neighborhood. I hate that. Everyone knows by now about dimentia & stuff, so they were just being cruel imo.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Best wishes to you and your family.
It was on a local thief community video. We do not live in the same town and he is lonely, has become a hoarder and refuses any help, all advice is greatly appreciated, we are so sad...thank you
Post a Disclaimer on FB stating only in America innocent until proven guilty, elderly man forgot to pay, or something like that. Restitution was (paid, offered and accepted, offered and declined). The intent of the poster does seem mean, or not understanding your father's vulnerabilities.
Shop with him.
Some caregivers carry a card which states: "The person I am with has Alzheimer's", "Thank you for your patience."
If the FB conversation continues, you can state things such as: trial by FB.
None of you, not your FIL nor any of the family who love him, have reason to be personally embarrassed by this painful incident. You now know that vigilance is required when he is in circumstances that can trigger his urge to “collect”.
It is is a wake up call, and Sendhelp has provided some excellent, empowering suggestions for management.
Now promise yourself to forgive him, and more important, to forgive yourselves. And if you can, forgive the person that may have just been ignorant of the scourge of this disease.
Hopes that you are soon able to put this behind you.
So off to the folks with the Gargage Sale and explain, and I hope they are ashamed to have put it on social media without knowing the story here. That's that. Even if they don't, so what. And no one is putting Dad in jail for lifting something at a garage sale. Absent minded as I can be when anxious I am always afraid I will have some blasted can of tuna in my hand and walk out the door with it unpaid for. However, this could be a larger problem at the KMart of the Target. So Dad clearly needs someone with him in store now. Sadly. Or deal with it after it happens. So sorry for what you and he are going through, but Social Media is what it is, which is often enough trash trashing.
Hoarding is an anxiety disorder associated with OCD. You say your FIL is very disconnected, so I'd get him to his doctor for a cognition test right away. Perhaps he's suffering from dementia in addition to anxiety, and some medication may help calm him down in general. The first step here is to see what his doctor has to say, and go from there.
I'm so sorry you're all having to deal with this. Too bad the poor old guy wasn't cut a break, huh?