My mother has been in isolation for cdiff and was out for a couple of weeks, and now back in isolation. One of her children came to see her after being in there for 3 months, and left me a dirty note about not having her hair done and a manicure and pedicure. This is something I did carry my Mother for on a scheduled bases, but haven't been able to do. I have filed her nails and didn't do it before they came, kinda hoping someone else might want to care for their mother. Any suggestios on coloring someones hair while in the NH and in isolation. My Mother is very weak and can't stand or sit up long enough to do much. The other child thinks I should have all of Mom's money and pay someone to come in but I don't know of anyone willing too. The other Child also wants her inheritance now, there is nothing I am spending My own money as well as my Mother's check every month in trying to get her well. Any Suggestions? Am I wrong for not having this done I don't do it for myself but I did do it for my Mother and would send her to the beauty salon in the NH if I could.I have made sure the poop is cleaned out from under her nails everyday or every other day.
Oddly when I thought about it, practiced and asked my siblings nicely, they jumped right in and pitched in. I realize that I may be somewhat controlling and I like to be sure things are done well, so I don't often ask for help, but the point is... when I considered the situation carefully, I hadn't asked them to help and they didn't.
I found that my brother and sister didn't know what to do. They were unfamiliar with the situation and they didn't want to disturb our routines.
I asked my sister to visit once a month and so she did. She would spend one weekend a month with mom. I asked her to focus on cooking and feeding mom, because that is what she needed most. My sister would shop and cook and fill mom's house and freezer with home cooked meals. She was so thankful for the change to rebuild her relationship with mom, because of my suggestion. What a huge relief to me!
After my mother passed away I asked my brother to clean out the years and years of paperwork. He met with a tax accountant for the guidelines on what documents to keep. He purchased a shredder and went through many, many drawers and boxes of documents and completed the project in 4 days, non stop! What a relief!
At that time I asked my sister to go through all the generations of family photos, sort them and get the photos to the people who should have them. She also completed that task.
Frankly, I'm stunned. They never did Anything! except when I asked. Now I need to think of new tasks for them to do. In my case I find that all I can do is to look at myself and think of what I can do. That's what they tell me in church. They say you can only change yourself. So, what I changed about myself is that I thought about what I could ask my siblings to do that would be helpful. They could do it or not and surprisingly they did it.
The greatest progress was made when I asked specifically.
Perhaps next time your mom has a visitor, you could ask ahead of time for that visitor to arrange for hair and nails. My mom loved having her hair and nails done. It will help your mom to feel good and it will help your siblings to know what they can do that won't take away something you enjoy.
I hope this idea is helpful. If after you ask once it doesn't work, try to think of a way to rephrase it, or think of another request. Keep trying. I hope it works for you.
Visitors concerned about outward cosmetic appearance in ICU...should just stay in the waiting room or send a card..
I am not sure a hospital would allow hair coloring, I could be wrong. You might check with a nurse for people that come in and do nails and hair at the NH or hospital.
We do the journal, as well, and it is a great help.
Best of luck!
Does the nursing home have an on site beautician? Perhaps you could speak with her about the possibility of her gloving and gowning up and going to your mom's room to care for her hair.
Perhaps this is the time to let the gray show - I'm sure your mom has earned her gray! A short easy care style could let her still feel that she looks presentable.
People are always willing to critic what they don't understand. I've done it before - shame on me! I hope that you can put their negative feedback behind you. All that matters right now is your mom and you. My best wishes go our to you and your mother.