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Mom has been on the waitlist for a memory care unit and a room has finally opened up. They want to send the RN to do the evaluation soon. I’m nervous about how Mom will do and if she’ll be accepted or rejected based on this evaluation. Does anyone have any insight into the process? Are there any big reasons why they would turn us down?

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Bumping you up.

The only reasons that come to my mind would be if she has violent tendencies or needs a higher level of care in a nursing home due to a health condition. Good luck.
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I own an assisted living facility. Usually an assessment is made in order to determine the level of care the senior will need, and to make sure that it can be provided. She should not be rejected unless she has a serious health issue, bedsores or a contagious disease.
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Usually with Memory Care or Assisted Living, they have to be able to ambulate without help from an aide, such as going to the dining room and back. Any condition that would keep them from being reasonably able to get around and do some basic grooming, feeding themselves, toileting or getting ready for bed might cost you extra. Exit seeking behavior will also cost extra at some facilities.
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Judysai422 May 2019
While it may cost more money for a higher level of service, it will not exclude a person from being accepted. Where my parents are, many residents are in wheelchairs. My mother gets wheeled to the dining room as do others.
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I think it really depends on where you live.

Memory care in AZ is a locked facility for people that have a hard time because of their broken brain. I have never seen anyone but staff walking around, all residents in wheelchairs and obviously very sick.

Other regions of the country call this kind of facility something else and memory care is nothing like in AZ.
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Judysai422 May 2019
I am also in AZ, and have toured a number of MCF. They are not all as you described. I saw three newer ones that were beautiful and residents were enjoying the lounge and activities. Some were more like group homes, others a bit more like an upscale nursing home. If you are in the Tucson area, message me and I can provide names and a great elder care placement specialist.
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I guess I am fortunate that my RN daughter did a thorough tour/evaluation of nursing homes when her father, my ex from 50 years ago, needed nursing home/memory care. He went to two facilities that she moved him from after a few weeks, but they both seem happy with the third one they tried. At 85 and after 3 years in nursing home, he is actually living longer than expected for someone who never saw a doctor or dentist, smoked for 25+ years and drank a lot of beer! Now he loves Ensure. I do carry one copy of the ApoE4 gene for late onset Alzheimer's, although both my parents died before they would have developed it. My great grandmother on my mother's side did have dementia. So I have selected the memory care facility that I wish to be placed in when the time comes--and some days I think it is already here!
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GraceNBCC May 2019
Smart and Brave of you to plan ahead! Kudos!
I hope that has helped you live each day enjoying the present. Positive thoughts and prayers!
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If your mom only has memory loss and possibly needs help with ADLs, you should be fine. Assessment would be her care needs and to ensure it is a proper placement (imagine if our kids could force us into MC when we're still functioning mentally!!!)

What the assessment entails probably depends a lot on the facility itself as not every one of them is the same, but needing specialized nursing care is generally the only potential exclusion that comes to mind (while the MC unit has a nurse on duty, the day-to-day care is provided by more generalized staff, like a nursing aide you would hire to help in your home. NH residents need specialized nursing care.)

Aggressive/violent behavior might be another caveat, but there are medications which can calm a person without doping them up.

The facility we use has IL, AL and MC.

I see MANY people using various implements to assist in ambulation in AL (canes, walkers, wheelchairs.) It is called AL for a reason - some people need assistance with ADLs, such as bathing. Being unable to walk unassisted is not a gate to residence in AL. A certain amount of personal care is built into the cost they charge at this place. When care extends beyond that time, additional fees come into play. You should inquire about those costs and what is covered.

Our MC unit has people of all levels of ability. It also should not be limited to those who can walk unaided. Mom was still walking unaided, as were others, when she moved in 3 years ago. Last year she started using the rollator. Many residents were using walkers or rollators when they moved in and a few came in or have since moved into wheelchairs. Most residents still feed themselves, some have regressed to needing to be fed. Some still do most of their own self-care, some need help with some or all self-care. It does vary.

One of the primary reasons for MC vs AL is the need to keep the person safe (not wandering off.) When we were touring the place with mom, my younger brother kept insisting mom would be happier in AL. I disagreed, saying there's no one watching her and she could walk out the door at any time - well, she doesn't wander now he says. No, but this is not the same! Staff at that time said no.

Mom wasn't really aggressive, but was NOT happy about moving (we had to come up with a 'plan', as DPOA is not enough, but the facility wouldn't accept 'committals' aka guardianship.) Funny that before dementia kicked in, her plan was to eventually move to AL. When the time came, nope, she said she would never move into one of those places! They said just get her here, we'll handle it. They did get some Lorazepam ordered, very minimal dose, which can calm the person. As far as I am aware, they used it minimally during the transition and we only had to get it one other time when mom got a UTI (whoa nelly! that was quite the episode and her useless doctor didn't help!)

So, if mom is early, mid or even early later stage dementia and not really a problem either aggressively or needing extensive nursing care, you should be fine!
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The evaluation is normally to determine the level of care needed.
The only reason someone may get turned down is if patient is extremely agitated and aggressive about not wanting to be there.
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I agree with others here . It was made clear to me that aggressive behavior perpetrated on other paitents or staff is something that cannot be dealt with. That is the big one.
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The only reason for turn down would be violent behaviour.
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I am guessing that anyone who indicates aggressive or violent behavior would and should be turned down. What they do with these people, I don't know but I would not want them around sick people or anyone for that matter. No way!
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