Can someone chime in on whether you are supposed to send a sympathy card to the family if you attended the funeral of their loved one and have spoken personally with the family members to give your condolences? I just feel like I may be overdoing it and I'm not sure what the proper thing is.
In the stress of funerals and wakes, the family truly may not remember who was at the wake and/or funeral. But a card is a physical reminder.
You raise an interesting question. When close relatives died over the last decade, I don't even recall if I did send cards. We were in contact so much, that I might have just expressed my sympathy verbally, as at that time it was more appropriate for the grieving survivors.
When my Granny died, no one acknowledged my grief, only Mum's.
When a friend's sil died, I sent a card to my friend and had the florist at the grocery store make up a gift basket with kids in mind for her two sons, who had lost their auntie.
I was the only one who acknowledged the children's grief.
You can leave it at that or, if the families are very close, a casserole, salad and biscuits would be a nice gesture to relieve the grieving, weary people the added burden to have to cook too.
Speaking for myself, though, what I appreciated most were the letters. Don't worry about doing that because you've already spoken personally to the family so just a card is fine. All I mean is never mind the pictures or the floral arrangements, people's thoughts and recollections meant more.
Speaking for myself, when my father passed, I appreciated all the cards received. I don't think it would hurt but only if you want to. I was so grateful for the kind words, kind gestures during such a raw time. I don't think friends or family can overdue it, any expression would be appreciated.
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