My 88 year old mother does not have any "serious" ailments -- no diabetes or heart trouble, anything like that. She did just have a mastectomy this year and has high blood pressure. She does have dementia which seems to get worse day by day. She has not interests and is depressed about not being able to do things she used to do, and about losing relatives who have passed on. She seems to have aged dramatically over the past 6 months, and I have the feeling she won't be around much longer. It is like she has given up and is just waiting to die.
What does her doctor say about her present condition? Have you discussed the rapid decline? Does your mom live in a long term care facility?
It sounds like you need to get Mom signed up for Part D or some other drug coverage, although I think that can't happen in the middle of the year. You also need to read up on dementia.
Are there any household tasks Mom can still do? I wouldn't set her to scrubbing floors, but you might be surprised at what you can come up with. My husband (85, dementia) sorts socks out of the drier, and folds towels. We use washclothes as single-use hand towels, with a basket of them on the sink and hampers in each bathroom. We go through A LOT of towels, at least 4 loads per week. Hubby can see that folding them is a contribution to the household and not a made-up job. He uses those towels himself every day. Can your mother do some cooking tasks, with supervision? Tearing up bread for meatloaf, measuring spices? Can she water plants? All of us like to feel useful, and a little work on your part to make some household tasks possible could be very worthwhile.
Is there a senior center she could visit? Maybe with some card playing or singing or other activities to take her mind off herself?
Yes, being a caregiver can be overwhelming. Especially in the beginning, when you are not only learning a new role toward your mother, but also dealing with paperwork and insurance companies and doctor's offices. It is a big job. Hang in there!
like to ask you a question is your father still living?or something else? sometimes elderly people get to the poimt where they missed the mate, I have noticed when i am taking careof a client and their spouse is around and they end up passing that their lives has a big void in the heart ..there are several reasons it could be in her surroundings also, she may not feel she is wanted even though thats not true, im just letting you know elderly people die with a broken hearts for no apperent reason it that they feel lonely and feel they are not needed so they get depress unhappy, they start to isolate them selves stop eating is one of the major systoms they feel if they do not eat they will go faster..its so sad that you cant do anything for their unhappenisess i wish you well my friend