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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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She is in common constant. I don't know what to do. She refuses to eat. Bearly eats with my sisters when they are with her. She performs with us all the time. We are home with her and are actually getting no where with her.
It is probably time for a check up with her family physician, but I'll share with you something a doctor once told me, "sometimes they just get tired". Not a very helpful diagnosis, I know, but often it is the only answer. Encourage her to get up to eat with you, this may include spoon feeding her. Take her to the bathroom, but keep her in incontinence briefs for the inevitable accidents in between. Allow her to sleep as much as she wants. Offer stimulation, but don't force anything. Keep her safe in body, mind and soul.
greyes, could you tell us a bit more about your mother. She may be in her last days. People do get tired and stop eating. They are often dizzy and weak, so the trip to the bathroom seems so long. Does she have a bedside commode that could be easier for her to get to? If you think she is in her last days on earth, ask her doctor about calling in hospice to help you. They could be a huge help and let you know what is going on with your mother.
I agree with Jessie and MJK, it could either be end of life and you may consider hospice care, or it could be a UTI and you have nursing service come in for a cath. urine to find that out. All good answers.
My mother sits in her living room chair all day and sleeps, or just wants to have her eyes closed. She is in final stages of Alzheimer's dementia we were told? She only gets up and uses her walker to get to kitchen table when we inform her that her meal is ready for her.She eats, little bit, has to be reminded to take drinks when eating cause she has a problem swallowing.Then she gets walker and returns to her chair, does this every day all day.A few days ago, I was walking behind her to the dinner table, I noticed her lounging pants were very wet in the backside. I informed her that we should go to washroom to "wash up" b/4 dinner. ( I didnt want to embarrass her) in front of the others. She sat on toilet while I changed her pull up and slacks, then she washed up at the sink. She doesnt even realize that she wets and/or soils herself anymore. We only know by seeing or smelling the "signs"? Anyone have any advice, or any information if this is leading to "the ending" point of her illness?
Eight years ago it was the same with my Mother. It seemed to the family that Mum's life was coming to an end. She had Dementia and bowel cancer. I took her into my home - thinking it would only be a month or so and it was 7 years. As I found out more of what my Mum needed and what it took for her to want to be alive we beat the hopelessness and I would say the disease - at least slowed it down considerably and kept hopeful to the last moments of her life. This might not have anything to do with your situation - but I share it just in-case her condition is more immediately to do with hopelessness and lack of meaning. Just as something practical - if my Mother felt she was a burden for just a moment - she would take to her bed not respond. A key for us is that we ended up going on 5 years of outings - everyday - mostly combining picnics and nature - which was not easy in Ontario throughout the year. But we found a way. We all need hope and meaning - my Mother especially. All the best to each of you!
She's probably ready to "go home" . It's difficult to let go of a loved one in the last days. I haven't had that exact problem but something similar..I know it's very hard, I would remind myself where she is going is a better place than here..Grieve and let go, expect the expected. Can she talk about her life? Where she grew up etc. life was so different for our elders than life is today. Just a thought..Hugs to you..
Confused24,; your mother needs to go into nursing care ASAP. They can deal with incontinence and the need to keep people sitting upright after meals to help digestion and swallowing. For Alzheimer's /dementia sufferers, end-of-life is very slow in coming ) can be months or years unless a respiratory infection sets in.
i first of all...let her sleep! people sleep more as they age. when my mother was having a hard time chewing her food, i started pureeing everything! instead of water i use almond milk to dilute! soups, veggies whatever could be pureed with almond milk. i give her lots of fruit...pureed with milk, peanutbutter and protein powder so that she doesn't get toooo skinny to quickly. its delicous too! also, when your mom is in bed, you can use nice thick pads pads underneath...on top you can use those soft liners and i lay my mother on a prevail pant liner which is nice and thick, i don't even close the diapers...and can see when she's wet ... but my mother does not move around so this works well for me. good luck...takes lots of patience and lots of love!
I'm with the UTI thing. Have that checked out first. It's insidious. It can show up as any symptom, but lack of appetite and lethargy is common with this killer.
All good possibilities. My aunt stopped a lot of food except soft things, and we found she had 2 broken teeth. She swore they did not hurt, but she ate again when thy were removed. It doesn't sound like your situation, though. Good luck being Mom's health detective, Do what you can, then relax and accept what cannot be changed. You have done a lot for her already.
Great response, MarkJohn: I kind of see that with my mom. Some days when she really is not all that responsive, dozing in chair, doesn't want anything to eat. Then a helper comes or she hears something of interest on TV and snaps right awake. Hopelessness and depression are tough to combat - but they can play a role in your situation. Not saying that sleepiness and "checking out" are not symptoms of someone ready to die, but don't totally give up until the physical symptoms make clear that is what is happening. I find my mom will "doze off" when someone she doesn't like is around or when she doesn't want to acknowledge something that is going on or that someone wants her to do. Good luck!
My mom will do the same if she is not engaged. While this isn't easy I have been able to buy DVDs from her era she is 83. Mostly all musicals from Amazon very cheap and she sits in her chair as she cannot walk on her own and loves ever part of everyone and for her it's the first time she saw it. She recalls all the words to the songs and every hour when I get her up to do four rounds with her walker and I hold her she moves to the music. I've recently realized that when its feeding time. I put the movie on pause because she is so engrossed she starts with a cough and leads into choking on puréed food as she isn't paying attention. So it's all worked out. Left non-engaged she would simply sleep and never experience any type of life.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
first of all...let her sleep! people sleep more as they age. when my mother was having a hard time chewing her food, i started pureeing everything! instead of water i use almond milk to dilute! soups, veggies whatever could be pureed with almond milk. i give her lots of fruit...pureed with milk, peanutbutter and protein powder so that she doesn't get toooo skinny to quickly. its delicous too! also, when your mom is in bed, you can use nice thick pads pads underneath...on top you can use those soft liners and i lay my mother on a prevail pant liner which is nice and thick, i don't even close the diapers...and can see when she's wet ... but my mother does not move around so this works well for me. good luck...takes lots of patience and lots of love!