I live with with my elderly mother who has become extremely attached to me to the point that I cannot close my bedroom door..I must must keep my door half ajar. G-d forbid if I close the door entirely she will huff and puff and carry on and then go and slam her own bedroom door as if to say, "take that!" I feel so suffocated and am actually afraid to shut my door for fear of her reaction. It has become a crime to close my door. Anyone going through this, too?
Poor Mom. It must be hard to be so anxious so much of the time. What if you got a baby monitor. Show her how it works and that you can hear here from your bedroom, even with the door closed. All she has to do is call your name and you can come help her. This MIGHT be reassuring enough to calm some of her anxiety and let you close your door without dramatics.
Sometimes I find humor helps. I just thought of how I would probably handle it if my mother commented on my door being closed. I have rabbits that I share my two rooms with. I would just tell her my rabbits and I had to have privacy to secretly plot dominion of the world. Saying silly things sometimes helps, because they are non-confrontational and can't be taken seriously.
without him. We are together 24/7 ...I have no social life.
So we have been dealing with this bathroom issue for a few weeks now when she goes to bed. She is usually in bed by 6 of an evening and usually doesn't get up until 2 in the afternoon. I give her her 2 fluid pills when she gets up and she may go once or twice until bedtime. I guarantee you that within 15 min after she goes to bed she is up peeing and then my husband noticed that she is looking out her bedroom door for me. So we watched last night and it was every 15 to 30 minutes and each time she came to her door and a few times she even came out in the family room mumbling something we couldn't understand. So as we were getting ready to go to bed my husband turned out the lights and the TV was still on here she comes and she comes out looking for me int he dark, but we were standing in the kitchen and she had a light in her room. I was leaning towards a UTI, but now I think it is a case of just "nosiness" . My husband said, you know she is attached to you, don't you? My response was, whatever gave you that idea, because I can't even move without being followed or questioned! I AM AT WITS END!!
Oh, and when I got up this morning, her door was slammed shut because I always leave it open so I can hear her or if she needs help. I always keep it cracked, if it is closed so the cat can get in to her litter pan in the bathroom. Thank heavens she has another alternate route! She is soooooooo jealous of my cat, also!
I am absolutely mentally, physically and financially drained and have NO idea which way to turn. Seems no one understands, except one friend who is going through the same thing as I am.
I am such an outside person and I love it. She has lived with us for 2 1/2 yrs and this year is going to be worse than ever when the weather gets better because of her new found "attachment" to me.
My heart goes out to you because I know exactly what you are going through. A solution, I have none! Prayer and this site is the only thing I know to do. I have never been so "down in the dumps" in my life. I need to get a paying job to help out with expenses where my husband's hours have been cut back. It seems like I am totally falling apart at 57. I was doing so good. Don't know if I can ever snap out of it. Each day I think, now I am going to change things and look to the positive side, but it doesn't take very long until all good hopes of anything are dashed.
I love my Mom dearly, and she is really not a problem to take care of except once in awhile, when we have some problems. It is the attachment thing that is getting worse. It is like my Mom's body, but Mom isn't in it! Which makes it worse. I hope this helps you to know you are not alone in this situation. I wish you the best and will be saying lots of prayers for you, along with mine. I hope someone can give us some advice that will help out. Please don't hesitate to offer any kind, except in my case, there is no way anyone could come in and stay with her and give me a break, because she would aggrevate them to death and they would never come back. It's that bad! Please help! Thanks!