I just read an article that came to my email from CnnHealth on caregivers stress and health. It said, as I have heard, that we have a 63% higher chance of dying due to the stress of caregiving. Now we have to worry about dying ourselves ? I guess the daily stress is very bad on us .Here we are giving our family members our all, and the siblings who do nothng are healthier than us. Oh, this makes me so mad. Just needed to vent and ask you all if anyone else is worried about this? I suppose worrying makes it worse huh...
Luvmom
Just keep in mind there are some things WORSE than death.
I am with you hank - cop an attitude and buck the odds - i don't intend to succumb - and I will be quite ruthless in doing what i need to, to survive - sorry folks just the way it is - my mum is narcissistic and borderline personality disorder and quite well for 99 and well cared for - but bitches, complains and demands all the time and sucks in other people to get at me and would suck the life out of me - - too bad -what they think of me is their business, not mine and they don't walk in my shoes - and I wouldn't want my worst enemy to
doing right by people means doing right by yourself too - I have seen people who are suicidal because of the impositions made on them and their families by their elders - that's living too close to the edge for me - time for change when it gets that bad - in fact before it gets that bad - I have lived with the stress all my life and it has been worse than it is now but I have learned better how to survive - 73 and still fighting to maintain my life in a balance -wish it wasn't a regular struggle but with mother's BPD the borders have to be maintained and strengthened all the time - you may find it strange but I do love my mother just I cannot let her destroy my life, which she or call it the disease - would do if allowed
not the "picture perfect" caregiver, I know,but I will see that she gets her real needs met, but for my survival it has to be at arm's length
You have to assert yourself, cop an attitude and buck the stats.
According to an article by AARP, "Family caregivers provided the equivalent of $450 billion worth of care to their adult parents and other loved ones in 2009." Holy cow! Someone better start paying some attention to our needs. If we are incapacitated and can't continue to provide uncompensated care, where is that $450 BILLION going to come from?
What is a small fraction of that amount were used to set up affordable respite care? Wouldn't that be a good investment in minimizing the risk to the whole amount?
These kinds of articles need to filter out to policy makes, medical providers, and the general public, and not just wind up making us feel more anxious or guilty because we are doing something wrong.
If I read an article like this am I more likely to do some things to make it happen?
I think I would have much less stress in my life if I didn't have to support us, too. But if I didn't work we'd have to move and adjust to a drastic lifestyle change. I'll bet that would be stressful, too.
I love my hubby; you love your mom. That is the bright side, and helps offset some of the stress. Some, but apparently not enough, if you read the statistics
Luvmom
So, please take this seriously. Contact the Alzheimer's Association at www.alz.org or call your local chapter. They can be an enormous help.
Carol
At our family meeting a couple of weeks ago I handed out a couple of articles on caregiver stress, told our 5 kids I intended to be around and healthy to care for their dad indefinitely, but statistics indicate that they had best think about contingency plans in case something happens to me. That was a pretty sobering thought for them. I put this on our agenda on the advice of a therapist at the Mayo Clinic that treats my husband for dementia.
We can't worry about it and we can't ignore it. I guess we really do have to take care of ourselves.