Hello Folks, my parents are in a medicaid program to keep them in their home as long as possible. The care plan offers assistance from aides throughout the day for quick meal prep. They get personal care help as well, even though my mother tells them no, insert eye roll here! My question is about the food. I was under the impression from the case manager that the aides would cook up eggs or make sandwiches, soups, etc. In reality, the meal prep is to warm up Meals on Wheels or frozen dinners. I would rather my parents not eat all that sodium and unfortunately, they hated meals on wheels. But I am noticing they hate everything and sometimes don't eat or just pick at the food. It's a lot of extra work I did not anticipate in terms of prepping 3 meals a day, 7 days a week, but now that I know, just wondering what advice you have for decent meals that the aides can quickly heat up in microwave. My pre-made egg muffins with bacon and onion were poison, per my father! Insert another, even larger eye roll here! They seem to hate everything that I make or buy for them. Just wondering what you have done to create a realistic meal plan that is easy for aides and healthy for parents. Not an easy situation working more than a full-time job that also requires a long commute and then cleaning up them and the home at the end of the day. I just can't seem to get a handle on what they can eat being so picky. I can certainly put warm up directions on the food so it is easy for aides and also palatable. Thank you, in advance!
I get eye rolls all the time from my 93 yr. old mother and I say "Did you just roll your eyes at me?!" She always denies it. Role reversal.
I do not worry so much anymore about sodium, sugar, trans fats. She gets low sodium chicken broth at night when I come home from work. I have other snacks prepared or store-bought for her on a small plate that she doesn't have to heat up and luckily, she like to make herself cereal (Raisin Bran). She is a fairly good eater, not picky and does not eat a lot. So if I pick up something to-go from a restaurant, it's big enough to share. I do this when I just don't have the time or energy to cook. It may cost a little more but I cherish the ease of it and no dishes to wash (don't have a dishwasher). Have any friends who like to cook that could be recruited to help prep you meals for them? Parent(s) with dementia will rarely praise you or show appreciation for all that you do for them. At least that is my experience. Pat yourself a lot on the back for what you CAN do for them and try to get with a support group of caretakers in your area whether it's offered virtually or in person. Thank God this forum is here so we can laugh, cry, vent and offer ideas and solutions. Right now I could use a personal assistant but just cannot afford one. Maybe your parents could write down 5 of their favorite meals/ snacks and you could create a simple, fixed menu from there. Good luck, but ultimately, they will eat if they are hungry; even after the complaining.
On Saturdays (after grocery shopping on Friday) I would prep as much as possible for the upcoming week.
Considering my crews likes and dislikes--( so ask mom & dad what THEY want, and accomadate as best you can.)
I'd do a LOT of crockpot meals, which can be made, kept in a big Ziploc bag and simply put in the crockpot. That would do for 2 dinners.
I'd make one night a pasta salad night. Again, keep in good quality container, or even use those restuarant take-away containers that Costco sells.
Again--leftovers become lunches.
Breakfast for dinner. Pancakes, waffles, whatever. Pre-cooked bacon to cut down on the mess.
A pre cooked roast chicken and a bag of premixed salad is simple. Any leftover meat can be pulled off the chicken, but that does take time.
Casseroles. Twice a week. Totally pre-made and then either frozen or cook within the early part of the week.
Rolls can be bought and parceled out to go with meals. Using frozen rolls is a little treat, easy to cook and softer to chew.
Keep a supply of yogurts and puddings in cups.
Cut up fresh vegggies and store in clear containers. Have some different dips.
Charcutrie (sp!) plates (come pre cut and prepared) along with a bunch of grapes or an apple cut up.
Buy the small bags of chips for snacks. Yes, they're salty, but often our folks aren't really hungry, they're what we call 'snacky'. A small bag of Fritoes always quells my craving for some salty. A small bag controls the portion.
Just a start. I found that having dinner made early in the day, my day always went better.
SO MANY FOODS now come totally pre-prepped and all that is required is heating up. Certainly the aides can do THAT.
Loop your folks into the planning and only buy what they will eat.
I have gone back to easy prep meals b/c we are on such a weird schedule, I never know if DH will be home for dinner.
If your foks won't eat the meals you've (or the aides) have made, then it's a total waste.
Best wishes. Hopefully you can make something that will work out for everyone involved.
https://www.amazon.com/Tupperware-FreezerMates-Small-Low-Set/dp/B07DTFKTRT/ref=sr_1_25?crid=3H8XRLPFPEFIP&keywords=Tupperware+freezer+mates&qid=1696603130&sprefix=tupperware+freezer+mates%2Caps%2C345&sr=8-25
Oops! Sorry about the long link. But this size is good for individual meals per container, and stacks and stores easily. Great for, say, a big stew that can be served and the rest portioned out and frozen for later.
Good luck!
I took care of one woman and all she wanted was Rice Crispies with bananas. At 93, that's what she got.
Another woman only wanted mushroom omelets.
I think it has to do with comfort foods. And variety they just don't care about at this stage of the game.
Maybe ask what they would like to eat, and go from there throwing in a "milk shake" Ensure for good measure along with ice cream. Every one eats ice cream or ice cream alternatives from my experiences.
My parents like homemade soups for one meal a day. I made a big pot of vegetable beef, chicken noodle, chili, or potato soup each week along with a skillet of corn bread. Froze about half, served about half, and used previously frozen to add some varity.
Breakfast was usually some scrambled eggs and toast with different things added to the egg scramble - cheese, ham and cheese, bell peppers, peppers and onions. Made egg muffins by placing the "other" ingredients into muffin tins, pouring eggs, milk and bkack pepper mixture over it and baking @350 for 12-15 minutes.
Beef and cheddar wraps were popular: cut roast beef into smaller pieces and place on a tortilla wrap, cover with cheddar cheese, wrap it up and heat in the microwave just long enough to warm up. Meatloaf was a hit as my Dad had some chewing/swallowing issues. Chicken and dumpings and a chicken & dressing casserole were well liked too. Baked potatoes, mashed potatoes, brocolli, green beans, salad made with either lettuce or cabbage (cabbage lasts longer in fridge) and other side dishes that heat well in the microwave and/or freeze well. Fruit for snacks: apples, bananas, grapes, watermelon and cantaloupe cut and stored in single servings so they can just take one out of the fridge.
Once I got started I found I could do most of the cooking/prepping once a week and just use the microwave to heat stuff up though the week. I also purchased a meal from fast food once a week; Mom loved a cheeseburger with onion rings and a strawberry milkshake while Dad loved fried fish and a baked potato. A little time planning around the food choices they have liked and you can make it work.
Make a lasagna or two over the weekend and freeze portions in zip top bags or deli take out containers. These can be thawed and microwaved quickly.
Order a large pizza or two with toppings they like. Allow to cool and freeze individual slices in zip top bags. (I used to do this for my kids' school lunches).
Set up a crock pot on in the AM. Put in chicken thighs, a vegetable and potatoes.
A side of salmon can be baked with lemon, butter and dill, portioned and frozen. Frozen green beans go with this nicely.
Give them oatmeal or cold cereal in the AM, a hot meal at lunch and something light like yogurt or soup in the evening.
Very nutritious - and it can taste like a milkshake depending on what you add to it.
I use - a lot - this is a little of the basics:
yogurt
prunes (1-3)
frozen cut up bananas (can freeze although cut up first)
frozen strawberries (I but organic from Costco
Liquid: coconut water, juice - milk if you want
(I add)
cinnamon, collogen, perhaps protein powder or whey
a SMALL piece of ginger root and a SMALL piece of garlic
Greens as you wish (just a little - spinach, zucchini) if available.
A bullet blends everything very well. Its the yogurt and banana that makes it taste creamy / good.
If you want something sweeter, add cocoa, fruit jam, and/or almond butter, or any nut butter.
You might need to hire a person to actually prepare meals to heat up.
Lots of meals / dinners can be cooked in advance and frozen.
OR
Get healthy frozen dinners from the health food store i.e., Amy's.
They are available - and some/many at Costco, too.
It is shocking that caregivers do not actually prepare any food ... any more.
Gena / Touch Matters
What is the big deal about WARMING stuff? They can easily live on sandwiches, chips, and…well, sandwiches and chips. Cold salads. If they don’t like it, well, they get a little hungry, then I would bet they lower their fussy standards!
And, oh, for Pete’s sake, forget the “too much salt” nonsense. At their age/stage, imposing some “Live Forever!” diet is downright silly.
This is not helpful.
Perhaps do some writing / journal writing to get your anger out vs writing unhealthy comments here.
When I needed a quick meal for my Husband I would thaw out a frozen jar of whatever. (Zip top bags work great for this as well.)
If I was out for the day and needed a caregiver to heat up lunch for him I would take a jar out the day before and it would be ready for the microwave the next day for lunch.
I also would make him a pretty hearty breakfast so that if he slept through the day I did not worry if he did not eat a lunch. Because he slept a lot as he declined his main meal was a breakfast. I honestly did not worry if he did not eat much at lunch or dinner.
So if you are making meals for your family make a double batch, portion and freeze for you folks. And when you freeze a portion make it a bit less than what you think they "should" eat. Chances are they don't need the larger portion that you think they should eat.
And don't worry if they pick at their meal. If their doctor is not concerned about a potential weight loss it probably means you don't have to worry either.
They must have lost their tastebuds. They used to love everything. And their thinking is not working due to their dementia. They are struggling for sure. I am trying to find a better way to feed them on a terrible schedule. I never have the time to prepare options that make it easy for the aides. There is just so much waste too. My mom has gained a lot of weight just eating snacks and/or forgetting that they just ate so she keeps eating. On the opposite end, Dad is so thin. It's just difficult. But, I don't need to tell you that. You have gone/going through it. I appreciate all the advice and good wishes.
Thanks again!
You jumping thru fiery hoops to devise a meal plan they'll likely give two thumbs down to defeats the purpose. Nobody knows their tastes but them.
Good luck to you
Also you could tell your overentitled parents that this is what is being served, and if they don't eat it, they starve. That might be what they told you when you were a kid. Right back atcha, mom and dad.