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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Nothing for mother. I checked with her social worker who said mother doesn't want anyone to know where she is, not even her daughters, which includes me, obviously. I don't know who she thinks is buying and arranging things for her, but whatever. The sw is the go between and that works for me. I will check her apartment when I go down to see if anyone has sent any mail or flowers and take them to the hospital. If her doc thinks it is better for her to not have them, I said let them decorate the halls.
Surprise, surprise, my daughter just called and asked me out for brunch at a local fancy hotel - all the grandkids will be there. It should be very nice.
We'll do the normal thing -- go to church, then out to eat. She likes doing that. I've bought her a vintage porcelain rose brooch to wear and some sugar free candy I know she'll love. We'll go home so my brothers can call to wish her happy mother's day.
My mom's community has brunch my sis, brother, daughter and I will go to. The day before, we are having a family BBQ to reveal the genders of my daughter's twins and mom will be there for that as well.
my deceased mother and my aunt were very practical hill folk. they grew weary of holidays years ago so im off the hook for all that kinda stuff. saw my youngest son a couple of nights ago. hes been hired full time by the engine machine shop and doing quite well . good for him. if my little gmc blows up ill have pistons crammed in it the size of dinner plates.
Since Mom has been at her new IL apartment about a month now, my siblings and I are splitting up the weekend. I'm going with 2 brothers to see her Saturday. Sis and her family and the grand-kids are going Sunday. Celebrations in our house growing up were minimal. So I refuse to feel pressure to make the day that big a deal.
The main reason I am going at all is to take boxes of Mom's stuff that I can no longer store in my garage. Just happens to be mother's day weekend.
My mother (in a NH - Parkinsons, dementia & many strokes) is in very poor shape, unable to sit up or stand and mostly in bed or a wheelchair so there can be no taking her anywhere. Today the NH bus is going to Walmart. She's been twice before and I follow along in the truck in case she gets sick and needs to go back but, an avid shopper, this time she says she's just too tired.
She desperately wants to see my little house, ten minutes away, and last fall I had a friend lift her into the truck and drove her around the outside and down the back 40 but she fell asleep every five minutes and felt nauseous so we can't do that again.
All I can think of for mother's day is to take a lot of pictures in and around home and take my laptop down there to show her.
Thanks everyone. That was fun and helpful. Love the humor and honesty in this group. My mom still had the UTI and feels terrible so I don't know what she'll be like on Sunday. I'll plan on spending the day with her: whatever she wants to do. If it's nice out, sit in a park. If it's lousy out, maybe go to a movie. Not sure what she can take. I feel happier than I ever had though and more confident to handle our woes. Thanks to you you all: you all have been mothers to me!!
yup boni, someone who likes to swim upstream oughtta be permitted to , ya just turn the tide when they aren't looking.. I told the home care people last week that im not going to tell a 90 yr old lady what to do and as long as I have my way no one else will either. of course that reinforced edna and now shes waving her bony little fist around like Mussolini. lol ..
This year I’m out of town for mother’s day, enjoying a view of the beautiful water and great weather with my husband and child, but still enough guilt (but not resentment fortunately) to check this wonderful website for support for my conflicted feelings.
I gave my mother’s day gift to her earlier this week (they are 20 minutes from my house so I see them regularly), had a nice visit that day, yet she probably forgot what I got her, and then I saw my parents again yesterday after work (not a great visit as there was family stress, which I handled). Until very recently my parents lived on my block for over 10 years so boy did I see them a LOT, if not almost every day!!
Today my father is asking if I’m coming home early from my weekend trip to visit her for mother’s day tomorrow. I just said no, explaining that we aren’t coming back until late, that is why I gave her the mother’s day present early, and that I’ll see them next week.
I’m having a nice, peaceful weekend, which I really need for my sanity, so why must I be guilted in to cutting that short to see my parents on a specific Sunday in May? These kinds of expectations really suck…especially on the daughter and not the son.
Sorry - don't have any great ideas (besides going out of town LOL) but Pamstegman's brunch with mimosa idea sounded good! I'm sure whatever you do will be healthy and will feel right to you and your mother in that moment.
i just dont do holidays. ill take edna biscuits n gravy like every morning then im laying stone.. im with sifrina, people can cram their expectations..
I'm still deciding whether to visit the NH or not. Had a go-around with Mommie Dearest yesterday. It always makes me feel unwell and I'm just puttering today It's supposed to be a beautiful day tomorrow and I don't want it ruined (again). I'd much rather do some gardening, play with my dogs and enjoy the peace and quiet. Supposed to rain on Monday so maybe I'll go then so I don't get roped into pushing her wheelchair around the village while she natters and I can't hear what she's saying. She'll be p*ssed of course, but then she's never happy with anything. I could always say I wasn't well, not that she'd care of course. Damned if you do and damned if you don't.
I will go to church, take my wife out to eat and then we will drive to the cemetery in another city where my mother is buried to place some flowers. Then, I'll call my step-mother and wish her a happy mother's day.
Most likely the same old-same old. Like Ashlynne's mom my MIL doesn't fare well on trips out any more...the mere process of getting in and out of the car has become an exhausting ordeal for her, and she has a tendency to get car sick too. Hubs found a pretty flowering plant she can nurture (she still enjoys that) and the weather is supposed to be nice so we might take her out in the yard for a while so she can drink in some fresh air and sunshine. Which takes care of her Mother's Day. Neither of her two daughters will be around....one, who has no kids of her own, has to work (at Walmart - like she couldn't have asked for the day off a month ago? meh.) and the other is out of state. Fine with me since I'd rather not have to deal with either if them anyway. Of course all the usual stuff still needs to get done too, so it's unlikely I'll find much actual "me time", but like Pam I do believe I've got a few mimosas in my future. It'll do.
Mom IS going to Sisters and I am getting a few hours to myself. She actually remembered that Mothers Day is a particularly hard day, for mothers of deceased children. (I call it the club we pray no other mothers will join.) SHE bought ME flowers and a lovely card. Oh, the joy that comes from the pain. My Mom was my Mom again. I know it won't last, but I will treasure it today.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Surprise, surprise, my daughter just called and asked me out for brunch at a local fancy hotel - all the grandkids will be there. It should be very nice.
We'll do the normal thing -- go to church, then out to eat. She likes doing that. I've bought her a vintage porcelain rose brooch to wear and some sugar free candy I know she'll love. We'll go home so my brothers can call to wish her happy mother's day.
saw my youngest son a couple of nights ago. hes been hired full time by the engine machine shop and doing quite well . good for him. if my little gmc blows up ill have pistons crammed in it the size of dinner plates.
The main reason I am going at all is to take boxes of Mom's stuff that I can no longer store in my garage. Just happens to be mother's day weekend.
She desperately wants to see my little house, ten minutes away, and last fall I had a friend lift her into the truck and drove her around the outside and down the back 40 but she fell asleep every five minutes and felt nauseous so we can't do that again.
All I can think of for mother's day is to take a lot of pictures in and around home and take my laptop down there to show her.
I told the home care people last week that im not going to tell a 90 yr old lady what to do and as long as I have my way no one else will either. of course that reinforced edna and now shes waving her bony little fist around like Mussolini. lol ..
I gave my mother’s day gift to her earlier this week (they are 20 minutes from my house so I see them regularly), had a nice visit that day, yet she probably forgot what I got her, and then I saw my parents again yesterday after work (not a great visit as there was family stress, which I handled). Until very recently my parents lived on my block for over 10 years so boy did I see them a LOT, if not almost every day!!
Today my father is asking if I’m coming home early from my weekend trip to visit her for mother’s day tomorrow. I just said no, explaining that we aren’t coming back until late, that is why I gave her the mother’s day present early, and that I’ll see them next week.
I’m having a nice, peaceful weekend, which I really need for my sanity, so why must I be guilted in to cutting that short to see my parents on a specific Sunday in May? These kinds of expectations really suck…especially on the daughter and not the son.
Sorry - don't have any great ideas (besides going out of town LOL) but Pamstegman's brunch with mimosa idea sounded good! I'm sure whatever you do will be healthy and will feel right to you and your mother in that moment.
im with sifrina, people can cram their expectations..
SHE bought ME flowers and a lovely card.
Oh, the joy that comes from the pain. My Mom was my Mom again. I know it won't last, but I will treasure it today.