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My MIL has ALZ/Dementia and never seems to know how to use her cell phone or find it. I have noticed (since I pay her bills) that there are charges to Pizza Hut in the evenings when no one is there with her? So does she really know what is going on or is this just bits that come back to her? Most times she can't call people because she says she doesn't have their numbers or her phone doesn't work!

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Are they HER orders? Or is someone using her car and/or phone?
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Does she have access to her cc? Is her phone set to pay for purchases? Someone could be calling her and spamming her. I took all cc away from my daddy and the phone. I got him a grandpad and the only thing I could not take away was his SS number because that was in his long term memory. If she is living in her own home you may want to get her an aide or visiting angels to help at night. My experience take all financial items and put them away. Cell phone... get rid of it and get a grandpad best 200.00 I spent! It has internet, games, phone access no spam calls and best of all no wifi needed it uses data and best customer service EVER!!! Blessings
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She should not be left alone at this stage. Dementia is too unpredictable. I would see if an AL would take her. Early stages I don't think MC is needed. I would not allow the phone. I hope someone has POA to handle her finances. If not, if she understands what POA means, get it done by a lawyer now.
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Geaton's idea of checking the trash for those pizza boxes is excellent, because just from what you said I am now a bit worried that some kids are eating pizza on your mom's dime somehow. I don't see HOW, but SOMEhow? Because it would be more than just calling some app. It amounts to choosing type of pizza and everything.

You mention your MIL has Alzheimer's, but is alone. So I am thinking that she is very early stages or would not be able to be left alone?
Perhaps she has her priorities set right for her? Because I swear, I am 81, and I will likely know how to get Trader Joe's Old Fashioned Chips and their Licorice a good 6 months after I am gone!

You have some things to check out now; ask Mom if you can look at her phone. I only have a DUMB phone (jitterbug) but smart phones will usually give you a pretty good history.

I am curious! Hope you will update us on this one!
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momsthing Jul 2023
The pizza box is in the fridge! I did ask her how she did it with using the phone a issue. She said it took her a few calls but she got it!? I am her POA so I can access her cc to check for charges. She does live on her own, but does have in home care everyday in mornings for medication and meals.
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The red flag is not able to use the phone well. It is time to get rid of it and go to a plug in phone. But another issue is that she may not be able to live alone any longer or that it is only a short time before an accident happens. If she is ordering pizza are you sure she is preparing every meal? Check her weight.
You might want to try to convince her to go into independent living knowing that shortly she will need memory care.
Time is coming upon you. Seek help and speak to her PCP about getting her tested. Soon!
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My mom has the same issues with her cell phone and pretty soon I'll have to give in and get her a land line in assisted living instead. Dementia is a roller coaster - some days she can call and/or answer her phone, other times she can't. So, I think that pretty much explains it. I consider my mom in the mild/moderate range and she definitely could not be living alone. How many hours a day does she have help right now? Might be time to increase it or look in to assisted living.
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I agree with others that you should make sure these are actually her orders (but IDK how you will verify this). Maybe look in her trash for evidence of pizza or the boxes or ask what address it was delivered to?

The phone issue is often one of the first obvious signs that there's a cognitive problem. My MIL had problems using her phone and keeping her contacts straight, as did my cousin with ALZ. You may want to transition her to a special phone for people with dementia (one with large pictures and easy auto-dial features, and can also block unknown callers).

You should also thoroughly look through her house to see what else is being neglected: is mail laying around unopened? Is her bank account overdrafted? Is the house dirtier than usual? Does her hygiene seem to be lacking?

Does your Mom take any prescription drugs? If so, I'd be very leary about her admiinistering them to herself if she's having memory issues. I would not even trust asking her if she's taking her meds. Been there, done that with my MIL. She couldn't remember and instead of saying she couldn't remember, she'd just give me an answer but it turned out it wasn't correct.

At this point I would make sure all her sensitive info is protected from her and any predators. You can consider taking her cc and instead giving her a rechargeable debit card so that any loss is controlled and minimal. That is, if you are her PoA and she is cooperative.

If you are her PoA you should now read the doc to see what is required to activate your authority. Often it is 1 or 2 diagnoses of cognitive or memory impairment.

If you or no one is her PoA it is not too late to get this done at an attorney's or by downloading the proper docs at Legalzoom.com or Rocketlawyer.com. It will still need to be notarized and witnessed (in most states). The attorney will determine if she has capacity to create the PoA by privately interviewing her at this appointment. If you wish to help her, being legally able is critical.
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Of course your MIL does not know what's going on. She has ALZHEIMER'S. She now needs 24/7 care.

She will never again be able to pay bills, prepare food, dress herself, go to the restroom or do anything else on her own.

You need to figure out her Long-term care as soon as possible.
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A clinical diagnosis of Alzheimer's/ dementia comes with patients'limited cognitive function; have her PCP provide a " level of care needs" assessment ASAP with recommendations for care options going forward. This is a safety issue. She needs 24/7 supervision. You may want to be sure who is assigned as her POA and may need to confer with an Elder Law Attorney to get direction to navigate the care options, responsibilities, accountability etc etc of caring for the elderly; there's a lot more to it than most realize, legal as well as medical and on going care.
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Memory loss to me, is not constant. My Mom's memory loss comes and goes in varying degrees and seemingly in cycles.

Sometimes, my Mom can remember how to walk and sometimes her legs don't remember how to walk. I know of a guy who could not talk, yet after watching the nurses many times do it, he took a card, waved it against a card reader, and attempted to open the doors to the MC unit.

When I first read your story, I was wondering if someone at the Pizza Hut was illegally using your Mom's credit card number (that happened to me at a Pizza Hut a long time ago).

If you are sure, she is getting pizza for each of the times that it shows up on her bill, then yes, your Mom is capable of ordering pizza for herself. However, it is also possible that someone at the Pizza Hut is using her credit card number illegally.

I'm not sure that your Mom should be living alone. If she needed help, would she know enough how to get help 100% of the time?

Just thoughts...
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