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Let's just ask...who has the health care proxy? If the answer is no one...then it falls to what she previously signed. In general the hospital will follow the wishes of the husband/wife. But, not always. Safer to have one.
Jeanne is right. Only your mother can assign the POAs for her finances and her healthcare (healthcare proxy). Whoever has the healthcare proxy has the ability to choose what is in the best interest of the patient when there is no hope of recovery. However, hospitals will often not execute a DNR is there is dissent in the family. It places them in a vulnerable position. It would be best if the family came to a meeting of the minds. If that is not possible, then whoever has the POA for healthcare (healthcare proxy) will have the most power in the decision. If your mother is incapacitated, the POAs cannot be changed now.
A DNR and Healthcare Proxy are not the same as POA
If he is deemed to be competent p, then he can revoke the POA at any time. The POA designates the limits of the authority of the POA....Dad can revoke all or part of it.
She just has a general Power of Attorney over my parents. My mother is at end of life but my sister does not want the DNR. My father does. We are planning on revoking the Power of Attorney. Would we need an attorney or can we print and sign the form and have it notarized? Does it have to be notarized?
My mother is not competent to sign. She is end of life bedridden and barely in an awake state. Yes, my sister claims that she gets to make the decision whether there is a DNR or not. My Dad does not want this because her quality of life is zero. My evil sister does want them to use any means possible to save her if she codes. If my mother is ever released rom the hospital my sister wants to take her to her home and take care of her which she is CRAZY and not capable of doing so. She can barely take care of herself. My dad would prefer her to go in a nursing home (a GOOD one) where she will be taken care of as he is not able to be a fulltime caregiver. If they release her from the hospital in the stage she is now, which I doubt, it would not be good for her to be at home even with a caregiver and my dad have to watch her suffer (feeding tube, etc) and not even be awake or when she is, barely. She can't talk, she can't move. Strokes, seizures and dementia have taken everything away from her. Why anyone would want someone to suffer is beyond me. By the way, the doctors agree with us. But, you have answered my questions about the difference in a POA and a healthcare proxy. Thank you so much!!!
We are revoking the POA that he signed so that she has no say so over him. We will make sure that he has a Healthcare proxy. She won't let me see the POA that she has so I don't know what it says and my dad can't find his copy. She did this years ago (she's much older than me and I would have been a kid when it was signed so that's why I am not on it also. I will be on the new one for my dad after he revokes the current one. The doctor has in the records that she is a DNR and it's in her medical charts but again, she is saying she never told him that so I'm sure she will wave the DNR around at the hospital. If my dad is there if it happens I would think that the hospital would revert to what he says because he is still competent. Depends on the wording (again, I haven't seen it) to whether it says on the POA if he still has the last say over his and mother's care if he is still competent and it only reverts to her if he is not able to make a decision about my mother. I'm hoping it does.
The hospital was so nice. Since I gave them a copy of my healthcare POA, they put it in all her records to resuscitate mom. My sister can't step in in an emergency before I get to the hospital and make the decision to DNR.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
But the POA does not have authority over medical decisions.
Anyway, as Jeanne says, the POA does NOT cover health care issues...that is a proxy.
Wow..I would have a talk with Dad. Sister is trying to step way over the line.
If the answer is no one...then it falls to what she previously signed.
In general the hospital will follow the wishes of the husband/wife. But, not always. Safer to have one.
If he is deemed to be competent p, then he can revoke the POA at any time.
The POA designates the limits of the authority of the POA....Dad can revoke all or part of it.
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