I am named as my mother’s advanced healthcare director and my sister has financial power of attorney.
I am wondering can we make my mother go to an assisted living facility?
She has dementia and is unsafe at home. She refuses to believe she needs help or that she has severe cognitive impairment. We do not have conservatorship, but have several neuro cognitive assessments stating she is incompetent.
A medical power of attorney is authorisation given by an individual to someone else to make medical and healthcare decisions on the individual's behalf if s/he becomes unable to.
Plus, Advance directives generally fall into three categories: living will, power of attorney and health care proxy. LIVING WILL: This is a written document that specifies what types of medical treatment are desired.
I hope this can also help.
My mother spent the last 4 years of her life in a MC place, and was happier than I'd even known her to be! No restraints. No medication to "control" her.
That’s a very different question, and the answer is probably No. Moving her place of residence is very different from the issues covered in an Advanced Care Directive. A financial power of attorney is unlikely to help, though it might allow the sale of her house (or termination of a lease), which could force the issue. You and your sister need to seek legal advice on that.
This sounds like a ‘guardianship’ situation, but the legal advice should help with that as well.
Sounds like she does and didn't want you or your sister to be able to remove her from her home.
I think the most loving and best thing you can do for your mom is let her live out the rest of her time in her own home, not die in some unfamiliar cold place thzt is understaffed,, where she will most definitely be over medicated.
Praters fir your mom.
The facilities you're thinking about putting your mom in are great from your view. You are shown and told exactly what you want to hear to put her in there.
Moustly it's all about money. Sad but True. Put yourself in your mom's place. What would you want done?
I would want to continue living in my own home with Caregiver help.
Again, a cold and unsupported statement. Jaded to say the least. NOT all places are like that and it IS incumbent on us to thoroughly check the places first.
FYI - my mother lived in the MC unit for 4 years and was NEVER medicated. EVER. The place also wasn't cold (not physically and not emotionally.)
"You are shown and told exactly what you want to hear to put her in there."
Refer to my last statement above this. Sure, you will get the song and dance if that's all you do in finding a place. It is up to us to CHECK the place out. Go there on your own. Wander around. Take in the sights, sounds and smells. Get a free meal. Talk with other residents (this works best if the MC is associated with AL and sometime IL units.) Talk with other family members you encounter there.
If you're that dumb not to take steps to check the places out, then you get what you deserve.
Not all can afford in-home care (yes, it IS more expensive than a facility.) Not all will ACCEPT in home care. That was tried for my mother, to allow her to remain in her own place a little longer. Less than 2 months later, only 1 hr/day to check on her and get her used to having them there she REFUSED to let them in. End of in home care. It was NOT safe to leave her in her own place.
On top of that, with dementia they drift back in time. Depending on how long they lived in the "current" home, their idea of "home" could be some home in the past, even the one they grew up in. My mother's first "step back" in time resulted in her forgetting her condo of 25 years and asking about a key for the home she/we lived in prior to that. Given more time, that "home" likely would have become some other place in the past (based on "discussions", statements and questions about various topics, I could tell she was living her life about 40 years ago. That condo would NOT have been home to her anymore, and she likely would've been wandering off to find that previous home!!!)
"I would want to continue living in my own home with Caregiver help.":
Good for you. That's what YOU want. I've told my kids that if I end up on the dementia train, the last stop should be a MC place. I do NOT expect them to care for me and it would be too expensive to remain in the home. If not the one my mother was in, then one like it.
The reality is that what you want and what you get may not be the same thing. We can want till the cows come home, but in the end it is more important to take care of what we NEED.
If she has money to go into assisted living, why not use it to get her some in-home help for now. It will free you up a little so as not to have to be there 24/7. If her mind is gone, she may not be able to get into AL, but a memory care setting and eventually a regular NH if her money runs out.
if you only have the directive and sis has the POA for finances, it doesn't appear (to me) that you have enough to force her to leave her home.
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