I have been in kind of foul mood today!
I'm actually really good at warning my hubby. Lol
He asked me if I knew why? I told him no, but the truth is that I do know.
I was thinking about Halloween one year ago today. I had been away from home for 4 weeks trying to get my Aunt taken care of after my Uncle's death. Sleeping with a hammer under my pillow due to the constant fear of my psychotic cousin trying to get back into the house. He had threatened to kill me several times.
One year ago tomorrow, I collapsed in a Walgreens and had to go by ambulance to the ER.
Turned out to be a full blown anxiety attack. Something that was never in my vocabulary! I couldn't believe that it happened!! I have always been a Rock!!
Although that particular event has been the only one, the anxiety rears it ugly head from time to time. Usually when I was driving to visit my mother.
So tonight, I guess I just have the blues.
Wondering if any of you experience the same emotion??
Happy Halloween!!
Have you talked about this with anyone? A close friend or a therapist?
You need distractions so you don't think about the event last year. A few suggestions: a good movie, a good book, cooking, baking, cleaning, organizing, etc.
Hope you feel better.
Yes, I started seeing a counselor last February.
Between my Aunt and my mother I think I gave him an anxiety attack ! Lol. Just kidding!!
I would love to be cleaning and organizing, but due to my recent surgery I am limited as to what I am able to do just yet. Maybe that's part of the problem!
I opened up to my hubby tonight about what I was feeling.
He's not only a Doctor, but retired flight Surgeon USAF. Two tours in Iraq.
He understands about PTSD!
He told me what I am feeling is completely understandable !!
I guess you don't have to be in the military to suffer post traumatic stress!
Thanks so much!
My caregiving days are over but I get it. I had extreme anxiety. I got dizzy. My heart would race. My doctor doubled my blood pressure meds because my blood pressure was at an unhealthy level. I was sent to a heart specialist but those tests came back with normal results.
I had panic attacks and didn’t breathe properly. My therapist taught me breathing exercises. They do help.
Exercising helped me too. It’s a natural stress relief that releases endorphins.
Reflecting is normal. We should honor our feelings but it took therapy for me to learn to move forward. I was stuck. I was blind. I was sinking with the ship. It’s a bad feeling.
Wishing you all the best. Take time to process your feelings. Reach out for help when needed or you simply need to vent.
Go ahead and vent. Hey, remember in the 60’s having scream therapy? Hahaha 😂 I could have done that for a few minutes! LOL
I don't remember scream therapy, but it sounds like a great idea to me!!
Maybe I'll give it a go tomorrow when I have the house to myself!!🤪
Years later, when my dad had a brain tumor and didn't know it, they had to move to Colo. to be close to me since he couldnt drive any more and my mother was way "too nervous" to take on that role herself, God forbid. That was September of 2011 and I cried so hard that day because I knew my freedom was over. And I was right. Dad passed in 2015 but my mother is still going strong at almost 94. Rarely a day goes by she doesn't give me grief about SOMETHING, even from her room in the Memory Care Assisted Living.
Yes. I have lots and lots of blue days reflecting on the day and time I became responsible for my mother's life back in Sept of 2011. My dad was a lovable human and I have no regrets about him.
A place for everything and everything in it’s place! Of course, everything was cleaned until it was sparkling clean.
Oddly enough though, she didn’t mind us getting dirty from playing outside. We had to clean up before dinner but I don’t ever remember being yelled at for getting dirty.