Dad has a very sweet tooth and when we kept his cupboards stocked up with biscuits and chocolate then we would find his main meals wrapped up and hidden. We have tried to reach a compromise by taking him a 100g bar of chocolate each day and he is now eating his meals but he is getting angry and agitated because he wants more chocolate than we are taking him. I took him three bars yesterday afternoon to see if he wouldn't obsess so much with more in his cupboard but he just ate all three by this morning and denied ever having them. Part of me thinks let him have what he wants but if that makes him ill or gives him diabetes then a) we would feel so guilty and b) we probably couldn't continue to care for him in his own home. Any advice would be very gratefully received - getting fed up with the confrontations and empty chocolate wrappers being waved in my face instead of a nice welcome :(
I know that my LO got into only wanting treats and a couple of other dishes. AND when you see food that is left wrapped up. I found that with my LO, the uneaten food was left because she forgot it was there. She forgot that there was food in the fridge or under foil wrapping and didn't have the mental ability to think of checking inside the fridge. It had to be in a clear plastic wrap, so she could actually see it. No matter how often I told her that her dinner was in the fridge, she couldn't remember and thought she had no food, so ate the snack food that was sitting on the counter.
I discovered a lot in trying to manage her care, meals and treats with her living alone and it didn't work out. She became to need AL so she could actually get supervised with her meals and treats. I'm all for the senior having all the treats they want, but, regular food too.
Keep experimenting with the different food groups where you can add something like honey to chicken to give the coating a nice sweet taste. Add pickle relish to tuna for sandwiches to give it just enough of a bite so Dad might like it.
If you're supplying, just don't get 20 lbs, in fact, would he like the higher quality stuff? It really takes the edge of my chocolate cravings--the bars with like 90% cacao are really satisfying.
My 4 y/o grandson wakes me up at 6:00 with a request for "25 chocolate chips" and I negotiate him down to 5, after he'd eaten breakfast. BUT, he's 4. An 88 yo can eat what they wants, IMHO.
My grandma lived to 94. She ate a bag of mini-chocolates every day. Had a great life. died with chocolate on her face!
He's losing that freedom not because anyone wishes to boss him about, but because mental infirmity and physical frailty make it necessary for other people to cater for him and those people have a sense of responsibility. Sad, and a genuine grievance, but not one you can do anything about.
And I wonder... even if you provided a 100% all-you-can-eat chocolate menu, wouldn't he find something else to be grumpy about?
All joking aside, chocolate is a mood enhancer. Bromines or something, isn't it? - where's a dietitian when you want one...
You could try a higher cocoa content chocolate, see if that damps down his appetite. There's a limit to how much 90% Lindt Excellence anyone can get down, as I can testify.
As the child of an alcoholic, my first reaction to your post is that you need to stop trying to control what he eats. Can you make him shakes with chocolate in them, but put in healthy stuff as well? Protein powder, even green vegetables.
I have no idea if this would help, just a thought.
Or maybe chocolate Ensure, or a chocolate protein drink for one of his meals, to help address his chocolate craving.
Also think the smaller pieces - Maltesers/M&Ms could work well as it certainly looks like you're getting more! Thanks again :)
This dear man is 88 years old and has a fatal disease, dementia. In my opinion going for pleasure is probably more important than nutrition. (And he will NOT get diabetes from eating a lot of chocolate.) But it would be great if you can work out a compromise so he also has enough appetite to eat other foods. Small pieces sound promising. High quality chocolate (not necessarily darker) might be worth trying.
I have a chocolate tooth myself, and I try to keep it within bounds. I've switched to higher quality chocolate -- if I'm going to have only a little it better be great! And I buy only bite size chocolate individually wrapped. If I'm out (how did that happen?) I like a good brand of chocolate chips, but I find it is more satisfying to have to unwrap my chocolate.
And I really, really love things like strawberries dipped in chocolate, or frozen chocolate-coated bananas.
You are doing a great job for your dad. Keep up the good work.
I think your current plan of giving him a bar each day is a good one. Or you could give him a couple smaller ones or leave some locked up and the person who comes in at lunch could give him one for dessert.
I always had cans of really good mixed nuts for mom. She looked at those as a special treat because of their cost. She had always been frugal (raised in the Depression). Nuts gave her good calories and good fat. She had lost weight and I figured any calorie was a good calorie at that point. Maybe you can think of some other non-sweet "treat" foods your dad might like that would feel slightly luxurious or special. Particularly things from his childhood. My dad asked for Necco wafers when he was 90. They are like eating sawdust to me, but I found some for him and he enjoyed them. So those old food connections can be very satisfying for our parents. You are a wonderful daughter and your dad is lucky to have you!
Thank you for loving your Dad so much.
May God bless you and your family.
I really wouldn't waste time and money on sugar-free versions of things whose whole point is to have sugar in them. God alone knows what goes into them... If you really need to skip sugar, eat something else!
Does he like halva? That too is very difficult to eat a lot of, try as you might.
Anyway, best of luck - and when you boil the whole thing down, don't forget that his age is great, his pleasures are few, and in the end the point is to make him happy. Hugs to you.
You are a great daughter to have. Your dad is lucky.
Also try a few Refreshers as a treat.
Mashed banana with chocolate drops in. As a pudding.
Save some little yogurt pots, put some small puddings in with a large chocky drop at the bottom. Freeze them and 'dish up' after meals.
Good luck :)