NeedHelpWithMom Asked January 2023
Do most of you feel that you have often received better advice for our parents from nurses who do the ‘hands on’ care over their doctors?
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When seeking advice about practical solutions to certain issues like bedsores I found that nurses who specialized in wound care gave the best advice.
Nurses in general are very helpful and often a patient’s best friend. My mother’s home health nurses were excellent as well as her hospice nurses.
Of course, I respected my mother’s doctors, especially those with advanced medical degrees, but they weren’t as knowledgeable as nurses about treating certain issues.
The same is true about nutrition. I have been told by doctors that they spend so much time learning about their specialties that they don’t have much time left to learn about nutrition. It’s better to speak with a dietitian.
I am curious if this was your experience as well.
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I had the same maternity nurse after two of my kids were born, and she would have thrown herself on a grenade for me. She really fought to get me a night in the hospital, and though she lost, she cussed out the doctor as he left the room. She was my hero.
My mom's GP erroneously diagnosed her with depression when my mother was having breathing issues. That error was actually her lungs drowning in fluid, which led to vascular dementia and changed the whole course of her life. Her last months were made better by the loving care of her hospice nurse who diagnosed her correctly with gout and fought the MC doctor who said there was no way she had it.
Nurses rock.
I agree wholeheartedly. Nurses often communicate better. My mother was sometimes intimidated by a doctor. I saw her more relaxed with her nurses.
I have had awesome nurses too.
Mom lived to be 95. She could be funny at times. In her youth, there were only male doctors. The last doc that retired was a man and she said to me, “Honey, when you look for a new doctor, could you look for a woman?”
Fortunately, I did find a knowledgeable and compassionate woman but she didn’t have all of the answers to practical issues. They know specific things and the rest is handled by their nurses.
I don’t think they could function without their nurses. I have a couple of dear friends that are nurses and they have told me some very interesting behind the scenes stories.
I bet this happens much more frequently than we think it does. Nurses build a connection with their patients by observing them for longer periods of time.
Mom’s home health nurse told me about her days when she worked for a major hospital. She hated working with the cocky residents! LOL
She said that their egos were often so huge that they wouldn’t dare take a seasoned nurse’s suggestion. So, she stopped offering help to them.
She said that she laughed to herself when they couldn’t figure it out and had to ask her questions.
PT’s are wonderful.
So yes, I would trust a good nurse's opinion before a doctors. But I have worked for Nurses and like anything else, there are some not so good ones out there. Only there for the money. My daughter at the time she was an LPN confronted a DON concerning my Dad's care in Rehab. The DON agreed with her on every count.
If I had a doctor I could not talk to, I would find another doctor.
You’re allowed to be prejudiced about your daughter. 😊
Seriously though, I found in caring for my mother and in my own personal experience with nurses. I find that good nurses are extremely helpful and passionate about their work.
I certainly understand that you are proud of your daughter! She has proven herself to be a very hard worker and cares about her patients.
Doctors wouldn’t be able to do everything that they do without the support of nurses.
Your story about nurses when we are pregnant reminds me of my story. When I gave birth to my youngest daughter. The nurse did the majority of the care.
I had a difficult pregnancy, high risk and in labor for 14 hours. My sweet nurse was at my side the entire time.
Well, the doctor shows up at the tail end and he was checking the position of the baby. All of a sudden, I hear him say, “Oooops!”
I’m sorry, but no woman after being in labor for 14 hours wants to hear her doc say, “Oooops!” So, I am wondering what the h*ll does he mean by that comment.
I was running fever, blood pressure spiking, very uncomfortable, etc. I asked him very blatantly, “Why did you say, “Oooops!?
My poor husband was concerned about me but was also apologizing to the doctor for me freaking out. Hahaha…🤣
The doctor tells me that he accidentally flipped the baby and she is now in the breech position and I can’t deliver her vaginally because she would rip me apart. Plus, her shoulders were a bit too wide for my small frame.
So, he decided to do an emergency c-section. By the way, the nurse anesthetists do most of the work too!
My friend who is a nurse said that he probably should have scheduled a c-section beforehand , knowing my history and he could have prevented the 14 hours of torture that I endured. Men will never know how it feels to be a woman giving birth!
Here’s another funny story! When my mom was at the hospital to have me, the doctor went to the wrong hospital and the NURSE delivered me!
My mother had four children, no difficulties with any of her pregnancies, delivered each of us in under an hour’s time!
Back then they used gas for women in labor. Two of us were born naturally because with one of my brothers the tank was empty, the other brother the tank was broken.
My aunt, mom’s sister had lots of troubles like I did.
I bet there are a bazillion stories about doctors, nurses and childbirth.
When I was pregnant with my first, he informed me that the heartbeat sounded like it was a boy. I was livid, because we had chosen not to find out the gender of our kids, and he blew the surprise. Two weeks later, though, I gave birth to a girl.
He said, "This was supposed to be a boy!" and I replied, "I wouldn't advertise it too loudly, since YOU got it wrong!"
I fired him after that, but guess who was filling in when my new OB was on vacation and I went into labor with my son... 😡
The nurse, though was great. I had her for both those kids. Her name was Joan, she was from "New Joisey" (we were in California), and she called the doctor an SOB as he walked out the door of my room. She hated him more than I did!
Edit: although I have MUCH respect for the Doctors that tell it plain.
For the ballsy who read the riot act to a frequent faller. "Choose your nursing home or your family WILL!"
For the calm one who asked "has your Mother ever expressed her wishes if her heart was to stop?" (mid emergency)
The two wonderful Docs with common sense approach - natural consequences method. Each made more sense to me than all the advice before. Who explained 'enabling' in such a quick & easy way.