Took my 82 year old husband took Dentist yesterday. He is wheelchair bound and with great difficulty and help, we were able to get him in the chair. After many x rays, the Dr. told him (us) he would have to have most of his teeth extracted because they were soon to fall out. One of them was possibly infected. He could only suggest Dentures which would require many visits and some pain. He would also have to consult his doctor because of the Coumadin he's taking ...... so he would have to be off it a couple of days. It appeared to be a long procedure. Now, my husband has a mild dementia but he understood everything. He wants to wait and make a decision later. I know, he will NEVER decide to go this route. What do I do as a caring and loving wife? Do I insist he go (because this could be dangerous for him because of that mild infection which could worsen) or do I let him make up his own mind?? He also has a tear in his Retina (eye) and has refused to see his retina specialist every 4 months. So far, everything remains the same with the eye. But it could worsen. He is tired of so many doctors and he sees how difficult it is for me to take him to all these appts. Should I insist he sees these doctors or should I just leave him to make his own decisions? He is a happy guy when he's just left alone. I hate to "upset the wagon" What to do???
Duh, on me for finally understanding that she didn’t want to eat because her teeth hurt. We really are not mind readers are we?
So weird, too, how we struggled because she wouldn’t eat, especially if I cooked it up special. We already throw too much food away.
Then it happened to me: always in pain and only eating soft foods. Eating is one of our biggest pleasures, it’s a shame when we can’t enjoy it.
Charlotte
charlotte
Re infection. Raw garlic will take care of the 'mild infection'. Crush up 3 cloves of garlic...leave in the air on a Tblspn for approx 10mins. Then have him put it on tongue & swallow it down with plenty of water a few mins before a healthy meal.
Do this 2 times daily 6 days a week. Rest one day. Repeat
Loose Teeth. Pyrohea
White Oak Bark Powder (buy on amazon or eBay). Make 2 Tblspns into a thick paste with warm DISTILLED water. Have him pack it between the gums & lips all around the mouth before bed each night. He will look as if he has a mouthful of mud. However it is very soothing....a powerful astringent, and has a form of calcium that the body can readily absorb
The same as above 6 night...rest 1...repeat. You Will have wonderful results..And his gums will tighten & his teeth be just fine.
Vit C Power: Emergency C is a good brand. 2 packets (2000mg) daily will help rebuild the connective tissues of the gums
Water: Distilled is the Only pure water. I suggest you drink & cook with this from now on.
Best Regards to you.
Theres no way to go but forward, so I will do that.
It has been a horrible experience and I do not have any of the issues your husband has.
The oral surgeon does not give general anesthesia for extractions to any patients older than 65 for starters. I had to be in “twilight sleep” which was ok while it worked but scary when it wore off before he was done.
I was without teeth for two months and even so my mouth was still swollen when they took molds so my dentures are very loose.
I have to repaste my dentures sometimes four times in a day. If I don’t, they will shift when I eat and that hurts like heck! Removing the glue from my mouth is what I spend most of my time doing these days.
They are recommending I have implants to anchor the teeth down. That will be at my own expense. No insurance will help out and it’s another surgery.
In the meantime, I have lost 60% of my taste and 80% of my chewing capacity.
Does this sound like something you care to go through with your husband right now? Not to mention how terribly painful the extractions were to start with.
Just sayin....
charlotte
Has anyone spoken to you about a liner for your dentures? I think that it is a semi permanent solution that works very well. It was one of the things that my dentist covered when explaining how the whole process worked. Fortunately my dad didn't need to have anything done, his dentures fit so well that he doesn't even use glue.
Best luck.
as far the infection goes he may be thinking let that be. My Step Mother at 89 fell and broke her hip. She declined surgery. After surgery there was going to be 16 months of rehab and learning to walk again. She said no thanks. about 10 days later the infection took her. She was happy to go. She had lived a long happy life. She hated being a growing burden to her children.
Modern medicine keeps us alive FAR longer than we would with out it. At some point modern medicine just becomes worse than the letting nature take its course.
if hubby wont go you did what you can
I know it hasten his death, but it was difficult for him to get to medical appointments
My Husband had dementia.
He had broken teeth.
I made the decision NOT to have any work done because I did not want to have to deal with open wounds in the mouth that I knew he would not leave alone. I did not want to have to deal with the after effects of anesthesia that he would need to have.
Also the fitting of dentures is tricky and with weight loss the teeth made now will not fit after weight loss. If there is a chance he will have to be placed in Memory Care there is the great possibility that the dentures will be lost.
There is also a good possibility that if he has just a partial it could be aspirated or swallowed should it become loose.
If he has an infection treat that.
Continue good oral hygiene either you brush his teeth if he is not doing a good job. An electric toothbrush that has a quadrant timer is good so you know you have covered each area.
The use of Tooth Swabs or stiff foam brushes is also good after each meal to clear food debris from between the cheeks and gums.
cut back on sodas and juices stick with water, flavored is fine.
It is a tough decision but you have to balance what is best. A Benefit VS Burden check list might help. And does the dentist fully know the dementia diagnosis? That also might change his or her treatment plan.
Best wishes to both of you. Hugs!
Needless to say, we never went back (more to the story but now is not the time). It would have cost $1500+ for the teeth to be pulled and it cost $500 to have 2 rebuilt. Do the math. And get another opinion on his mouth/teeth. You cannot even imagine the pain of pulling all the teeth.
And yes, too many doctors does get tiresome.
Sorry for the length of my post. IMO that amount of appts seems excessive. My Mom has glaucoma and we visit every 6 months. The last appointment she could not participate in one of the tests. The Dr was stumped on what to do. I said we just forgo it, she can't do it. Dr said I guess that will be fine. We'll just monitor another way. And why a different eye Dr for both of your husbands conditions? Two wallets to fill? I'm sorry but I am cynical. I would find one who can monitor/address both. You can only do what you can do and what makes sense. Could a visiting nurse come to the house to check Coumadin and sugar levels? I know of someone that monitors Coumadin levels at home with a meter and calls in results to Dr who then instructs to increase, decrease, skip a day, etc on the meds. My Mom was scheduled for a colonoscopy. I did some research on risk vs benefits and had a discussion with her Dr. He said that with her history and current mental status, he agreed to forgo that test. I had another Dr that wanted Mom's blood work checked every 3 months. We did this for a couple of years. A new Dr said that this was absurd. No issues, why every 3 months? I had a recent experience with my Mom. She was light headed and falling. Dr said this is what happens as dementia progresses. I did some reading on blood pressure meds and found out if you are on a cocktail of 3 meds, take one in the AM and 2 in the PM to alleviate the dizziness. I implemented, it worked, and Mom is fine. Dr never suggested this and once I told her what I had done she said, great, glad that worked. We know our loved ones, we can see their symptoms and changes. The quality of life must factor in with our caregiving. My Mom is also diabetic. The Dr would say NO sugars for her. She is diabetic. I say, SOME sugars for her is just fine. I do this while keeping her sugar levels in check BTW. She is only on metformin, no insulin. Speaking of metformin, my Mom wasn't taking her med years ago because she couldn't comfortably swallow it. It's a large pill. I spoke to Dr about it and he said cut in half. My Mom still had an issue and Dr has no suggestion. I spoke to the pharmacist about this and they told me about a liquid form of metformin which Mom now uses. Dr's don't know everything is my point and continue to advocate. I wish you and your husband the best and he is lucky that you are looking to improve his quality of life not simply extending it. Lastly, your quality of life matters too! Sorry for the length of this post but thought my experiences might help you or other readers :-)
As a side note... after her death they kept sending her/me notices that she had appointments coming up. I went there in person asking them to stop. I was told they couldn't help it, they had so many patients they didn't have the time to go through all the pre-printed cards. I blew up. (I had been quiet up to this point). Yelled at them that their poor practices killed my mother and if I got one more card from them I would see them in court. It got so bad people got up and left. They threatened to call the police. I told them to go ahead and while they call the police I'd be calling the local news paper. I finally left and never got another card from them. Amazing how they "now" could go through their pile of cards and get my mom's out of the pile.
I had the same dentice and of course changed dentices. My new dentist and the one doing a root canal for me, helped me file paperwork on them. They were made to show their paperwork for the next five years showing they were finally being compliant on checking their paperwork when working on patients. (Mom's had that she was on a blood thinner.) . If nothing else, we probably stopped them from killing anyone else.
Go with his Flow, I do think One Day, You will be able to Make all of his Decisions down the Stubborn Mule Line and at the Same Time...Miss HIM.xx
Some decisions have to made for them without taking away their power over their bodies.
As far as eye, talk on phone with ophthalmologist and ask him his advice ...see if there’s drops he can prescribe. My mother also has glaucoma & macular degeneration & went last year to retina specialist...it’s very stressful since it takes about 3-4 hours...I decided I’m not shlepping her there anymore & she continues with the same eye drops prescription.
It’s too stressful for you to shlep him everywhere. Also general Internist can come to house.
I hope you have or get some help with caregiving?
Hugs 🤗
If some of your husband’s Dr. appointments are absolutely not necessary, maybe you could cut back on some them? My mother in law is 81 and it really seems some of her Dr.’s keep her coming so often just for the money!
A geriatric primary would be good to switch him over to if possible. They might know of a dentist you could get him into that would take care of that one tooth and advise him on the others.
If it weren’t for the possible infection, I would be tempted to leave him be but he has a lot to be managed to stay status quo.
Try to budget for an aide on the days you have to take him out. If something happens to you, what will happen to him?
Call the Area Agency on Aging and see what you can find out. Let us know how things are going. You are amazing to handle all of this. He is very lucky to have you for his bride.