Do dementia patients lose weight and look tired even if they are eating and sleeping well?

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Do dementia patients lose weight and look tired even if they are eating and sleeping well?

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This is the case with mom. She lives with me and eats and sleeps ok and yet when someone sees her, they always comment that she looks exhausted and skinny. I feel this reflects badly on me since I'm the caregiver...

Mom has always been a poor eater all her life and she gets upset if I try to get her to eat more ...I just drop the issue when she gets agitated...

Alzheimer's & Dementia Diet & Nutrition Weight Loss

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I know it’s frustrating that people see Mom and ask about her appearance. I don’t think they necessarily are thinking you are not taking care of her but they maybe haven’t seen her in a while and from the change in her appearance are concerned. Share their concern and acknowledge that mom has lost weight and it really shows but she’s eating and sleeping. I agree with others that letting her eat what she wants is the best way to get calories in her and getting a protein shake will help make sure she is getting the nutrition.

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Yes. My sister in law diagnosed with Alzheimer's 2 years ago, was due to come to a family gathering since a niece was leaving home to start life with new husband all the way 'cross country. The sister in law arrived MUCH later to the event because she had been vomiting. Then she was apparently okay to travel by car.
For you, you can reassure these people who comment on your mom - You're providing adequate nutrition, but mom's appetite is sometimes off. Remind them that she IS ill, after all.

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Sometimes older people don't feel hungry and/or don't eat a balanced diet. Start by weighting mom and compare to a healthy weight for her height (look at online medical sites). If she is more than 10 pounds under the lowest number, consider that she may need extra snacks - protein and produce combinations usually pack the best nutrition. If she won't eat those, maybe she will drink the liquid nutrition options: Boost, Ensure... If she has diabetes, ask her doctor about using Glucerna or other "diabetic" liquid nutrition as well as checking her blood sugar a little more often while you're trying to build her weight up. There are some medications that can increase her appetite so she'll eat more. Having a healthy weight helps her to have a healthier immune system and energy for daytime activities.

If mom is considered end stage dementia, she may have difficulty with eating or swallowing. Talk with her doctor about getting a swallowing evaluation. It may also be time to consider switching to making mom comfortable and not worry about chasing her weight.

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My mother has dementia and lost 40 lbs in a few months when she stopped feeding herself. Sometimes people with this dementia/alzheimer's have difficulty swallowing. We noticed that my mother was no longer chewing her food and was "pocketing" her food (tucking it in her cheeks). We switched her diet to soft foods that don't require chewing (mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, blended foods, (like baby food) etc.). She did better with these foods, but now needs to be fed. We realized that when she wouldn't eat when a plate of food was put before her. She'll eat, when someone feeds her. Sometimes you have to touch her lip with the spoon. And now my mother is sleeping most of the day. She's in hospice. Everyone is different. But difficulty eating can be a symptom of this disease. Don't force her. All the best to you, and don't feel guilty about your mother's loss of weight. You are a good daughter caring for her.

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Try ensure w ice cream in a blender. I add a little vanilla flavoring, makes a great milkshake. We also dont care for the chocolate Ensure. Vanilla w added frozen strawberries makesca great milkshake too. I keep frozen blueberries, strawberries and mangoes for ensure millshakes at lunch. Usually an hour later, a protein peanutbutter sandwich is eaten. Too much if eaten together.

Good luck, you wont regret your care. Ignore the judgements. Just remind them visitors are welcome so you can get to your own appointments. They may not step up, but they will shut up.

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When my father was dying with mesothelioma, I was exhausted myself and I had a "friend" say the same thing. I took her out of the room and told her in a clear, probably angry voice, "My father is dying, don't you understand that? His body is eaten up with cancer, it is in his bones, his brain, his lungs. He is DYING!! Don't stand there and tell me he looks tired and thin!" Then I walked off crying. It shut that woman up. Maybe you just need to get real with these so called friends or family or who ever the he!! they are.

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They all lose weight but don't need the calories mom got down to 87 lbs before passing and she was 5'7;

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Thank you to each and every lovely ladies here for responding and lifting my spirits. I welcome all your practical tips like Ensure, small meals idea.
God bless you for undertaking whatever individual journey you are on!

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I love your answer! People seem to stay away or come out of guilt and/or a sense of obligation. The problem is, they don’t come often enough to follow the logical sequence of body changes and issues related to an illness. When they do come, they say stupid things just to fill a void. They mean no harm, thus a witty answer can take the edge off things or occasionally,sharpen it! Who cares is the point. The caregiver shouldn’t!

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Tell them it's because she's depressed that she doesn't have more visitors. 😇

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I believe what you observe in your mother is the result of the brain deterioration.

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I am so afraid of this! My husband looks exhausted and his little legs are stick thin. He refuses to go to the doctor. I am exhausted.

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Don't try to even bother trying to figure out what the naysayers say. Trust me. I've heard it all and more from family.

It's not unusual for elderly to lose weight even if they're eating and have a reasonable appetite their bodies are accustomed to. Even those who don't have Alzheimer's or any forms of dementia. My 89 year old mother is losing weight, according to the last time I took her to the doctor. She has a very hefty appetite. Still lives alone and cooks as her own meals. On holidays she cooks the same as she did when all my siblings and I were young and at home. She cooks enough to feed an entire military unit. No kidding.

If you haven't already tried them, do you think she'd like those protein milkshake drinks such s Boost, Ensure and I forget the names of some of the rest. The vanilla and strawberry flavors taste really good. I don't care too much for the chocolate ones. Your mom can even drink them as a side with a meal or in between meals or when she doesn't seem to have an appetite for anything else.
I've used them while caring for my own aging relatives and drank them myself when I didn't have time to eat anything. The Boost drink was especially helpful in keeping my energy up.

Best of wishes to you. You're doing great just by being concerned about her weight loss and just being there. The critics will always find something to criticize and insult, but will rarely to never step up to the plate to offer any hands on assistance.

Wishing you the very best and more.

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Glad you said you didn't care for the chocolate shake because those are the ones I tried and I thought they tasted like chalk. Wondered why everyone was suggesting them.

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My husband lost a lot of weight. He eats like a bird. I learned to feed him like I do a toddler. Using small nutritions meals, adding Chocolate milk (ensure) and slowly he has gained about 14 lbs. I wish you well with this endeavor

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I do think they regress a little toward some of the food they had as a kid. Maybe the flavors are less complex.

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Yes its the progression of the disease. Effects of the brain dying. My husband looked 20 yrs older and he was 61.

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I recently lost my 79 year old hubby of 53 plus years. Since being diagnosed with dementia 7 years ago he went from a robust, loving, social, husband, to losing 30% of his weight when he ultimately became a nursing home resident of 8 months. Great appetite but no muscle mass anymore from lack of exercise. Let her have what she likes and only what she wants to eat. There's stress enough. Bless you for taking this journey with her. It'll be one of the most emotional things you'll ever try to do. Guilt and blame should not be in your vocabulary.

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I’m so sorry for your loss. What an amazing thing that you were married for 53 plus years! That can’t be said by very many couples. I’ve only been married for 33 years, but Lord willing, we’ll keep at it and perhaps live long enough to make it 53 plus years.

Your answer is kind and helpful. I liked “guilt and blame should not be in your vocabulary.” Indeed, the weight loss and tiredness will be more noticeable to those who don’t regularly see your loved one

My mom had Parkinson’s and my dad had cancer. Both of them lost weight due to their illnesses. We took them treats and let them eat whatever tasted best to them. Mom would eat yogurt and pudding: Dad preferred ice cream, or a McDonald’s hamburger and fries. They weren’t diabetic, so we let them have whatever was comforting to them at the moment. One of my friend’s dad is nearing end of life. He’s got a hankering for a garden-fresh tomato. We’ve had too many frosts to be able to locate a garden-fresh tomato, so others are trying to find store-bought that taste nearly as good as homegrown. In our society, food is big thing! While a person still has an appetite, my philosophy is to let them enjoy what they want. The time will come soon enough when they not only can’t eat, but won’t want anything.

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I'm not sure how many dementia patients suffer with cachexia, but, you can read about it on line and ask her doctor about it. Apparently, the body loses the ability to use nutrients and it's more than just losing weight, but, losing muscle. It's also called wasting or failure to thrive, according to what I have read. Even if the patient continues to eat, it won't help with the weight loss. It often accompanies people with severe chronic conditions.

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I think it also becomes harder to eat. Harder to swallow and just not as enjoyable.

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First off, God bless you for living with your mother. My stepmom’s dementia was diagnosed 8 years before she passed away. We didn’t live together, but it was still very hard doing what I did for her. I know how crazy it can get, and exhausting mentally, emotionally and physically. I agree that she might need bloodwork to make sure she doesn’t have diabetes. Which could make her lose weight. But maybe keep a little log of how much she eats so you can get a realistic picture of what she’s eating. But if she only eats until she’s full, that could be why she is thin. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The average American eats way too much. Also, It’s my understanding that dementia keeps people from getting good REM sleep, which of course then makes you not really get rested and then one would look tired. But I hear you on feeling like people are judging your care. I’m sure You’re doing a great job and although it’s hard, try not to take people’ comments as a criticism. It’s the disease. It’s hard on their body, as well as their mind. Hang in there. It’s a very frustrating disease and taking care of people with it defies all normal thought process. It’s like taking care of a big three year old.

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My mom eats constantly - I mean like 10 times a day. She is back to living with me and it can get annoying that she is always in the kitchen but then I have to remind myself -hey she's mobile, she can cook and feed herself and that is pretty good at 93! But she is losing weight - I think it's just age. She has been to the doctor and she is in great shape for her age and she sleeps good because I bought her a nice new mattress. Peace out to all the caretakers - and if you don't have to be a caretaker then don't judge anyone too harshly..it is a soul wrenching, patient wearing, physically, mentally and emotionally draining thing to do but I'm glad I've stepped up to the plate to do it.

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I agree fully with your statement: “If you don’t have to be a caretaker then don’t judge anyone too harshly. It is a soul-wrenching, patient-wearing, physically, mentally, and emotionally draining thing to do.”

For those of us who’ve walked in your shoes, we understand. Some of us also knew that this was the right thing to do for those we love(d).

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I had this scare with my Mom. Please have your LO physician do a checkup. What other health problems does the individual have, (i.e. type 2 diabetes, liver, thyroid, or chronic kidney infections). Also have the Individual physician review their medications, especially if they are on long term blood thinners. Good luck. (Also, you might want to try offering several small snack like meals, instead of three meals using her favorite foods. )

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This is great advice....I also had my Dad living with me for three years and I made sure he drank "ice cream shakes". That's what I called Ensure Plus and Glucerna.
These really helped him.

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Don't worry about others judging you for what you're doing or not doing. I personally give you a TON of credit for living with your mother and caring for her with the very difficult disease of dementia, which I HATE. It's so tough, even on a good day, and others are totally CLUELESS about what all is involved in day to day care giving.

Your mother looks tired and thin because she's suffering from a debilitating disease that's sucking the life out of her and draining her brain of all it's resources, leaving her scrambling to remember literally ANYTHING.

When clueless people make thoughtless remarks, tell them you think your mother looks BEE-U-TEE-FUL and is doing MAH-VA-LISS, thank you very much!
Comments from the peanut gallery may be meant well, but they don't come off that way, do they?

Keep up the great work, my friend!

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You are the best - you made my day - thank you so much.

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On the one hand you are telling us she is eating well and sleeping well.
Then you tell us "Mom has always been a poor eater.....and gets upset if I try to get her to eat more".
So now I don't know. Is she or is she not eating well?
If Mom is eating well and is getting plenty of sleep and is losing weight then you may be looking at an illness that is using up that energy so a physical is in order.
If she is not eating well, that is sometimes something that happens. The appetite does decrease.
As far as the opinions of others, unless they qualify as a medical doctor it is just so much more opinion you don't really need to deal with. Consult with her doc if you are worried. If Mom is overall comfortable and happy I would be the last to force her. Offer things she might love that are nutritious as well, milk shakes and so on.
Good luck.

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Sorry if I confused you!

I guess I thought if I got her to eat more, she would 'fatten' up and not look so tired to others. Then I realized mom has always been a poor eater and gets all upset if I asked her to eat more, so I am not doing that any more. She's sleeping well & mostly ok (except for the repetitive conversations) and using the bathroom regularly. So we are still in the better stage of dementia.

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Has she had any blood work lately to ensure that her nutrients are balanced?

I think that lots of people start loosing weight with dementia and it is exhausting to be idle.

I would respond that they don't see her frequently enough for those comments. It's like watching a child grow with quarterly visits, seemingly growing like a sprout, when in fact it is a slow daily progression.

I am sorry that your visitors are not more positive in their observations, caregiving is difficult enough.

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Thank you.I'm practising to shrug off the peanut gallery and move on:-)

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Do dementia patients lose weight and look tired even if they are eating and sleeping well?

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