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A great lady at my Mom's assisted living asked me for some daughterly advice and I fell short. I'm posing the question to you experts so my friend can get some sleep. She's exhausted from getting up dozens of times nightly to urinate and has trouble walking. She's decided "to hell with it, I'm just gonna wear a diaper at night. " What's the best way to go considering convenience, cost, skin health, dignity? I notice my Mom puts pads inside her disposable briefs and I thought that made them less effective. A woman told me she does that too to get multiple uses out of the briefs. I hear about double diapering too and I'm frankly confused on the whole subject. A big hug to everyone out there today sharing this journey.

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Forgot this- The nurses only give to them what is order. So be there when Doctor comes and a surprise visit want hurt either. How else are you to find out if she is really this wet.Not saying she aint BUT...
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Have they talked to her Doctor about this problem there is meds for this. and they can stop giving her liquids at a certain time . There are two sided rubber mats , one side is vinyl other is soft blanket type. comes in a big size too- washable.My daughter was bed-ridden for 3 months and I got up every hour on the hour for bed pan. . I got where I wanted to change my name from mom to ???? But Doctors said her meds she was taken at the time was doing this to her. she had crushed pelvic. Be sure your there when Doctors and Please have a list of things to talk to them about. .
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hi reverseroles....yummy, sounds soooo good! lol i got my mom up once today...and she couldn't stand this time. did not wake up for the rest of the day! i made her a bowl of chix soup with veggies...she ate while sleeping...and funny how your post gave me the idea to puree her food...and that's what I did! timing is everything in life!! thanks for your ideas!
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Try the bedside commode.
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Lifeexperiences, yes my Mom laughs a lot, I wonder about what!! She cannot talk, hasnt for years but got the word OK out today and I was shocked. I can give you ideas for meals if you want. Just for a quicky I make 2 scrambled eggs with onions and coconut oil, melt cheese on it, put it in the blender and feed it like pudding to Mom for breakfast. She also has an apple pureed with a yogurt, tea, coffee, miralax and pills in prune pudding every morning. If you need more ideas, I am an email away.(ps, the eggs and fruit meals are delish! I try everything!)
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reverseroles....so cute....mom is still hooting and hollar...and laughing!! that is sooo awesome! my mom can't do any of that anymore...barely a smile once in awhile...and that little expression brings me back to when she was a healthy, strong mom. thanks for reminding me about pureeing her meals! seems like my mom took a turn for the worse...and will definitely get her some liquid food! thanks again! always could use some gooooood advice!
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lifeexperiences, whatever works right! I just thought the boosters would eliminate your laundry a bit. My Mom hasnt walked or talked for about 5 years now, also bedridden unless I hoyer or lift her. She has 24 oz of fluid a day and pureed food. The doctor said thats really all she needs (but she has 2 kidneys). I puree her meals with yogurts and milks so thats fluid I suppose. My Mom is on her bed or recliner 24/7 but loves to hoot and hollar and laugh sometimes for hours. lol
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I order Molicare diapers for my father from amazon. They are MUCH thicker and sturdier than anything we can find locally.
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hi reverseroles...i have to give my mother lots of water...because she only gets up 3 times a day...and only has one kidney. i read when people are bed ridden they need lots of water so their kidneys stay healthy. anyway...the beauty of having these hand towels and bed pads...etc. is that i don't have to wake up all night to change her diapers...and she sleeps like a baby for 14 hours! i'm sooo happy that she has no bed sores or rashes on her body...so im happy washing those towels. i've read where other people get up all night and take their parents to the bathroom or change their diapers every few hours all night! omg...that would be a death sentence for my sanity! but thanks for the input!! take care
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lifeexperiences, I also use vaseline, I mix it with desitin. I lightly powder her diaper during the day with vagisil powder. If you slice a few small slits in the back of that pad,the urine can pass thru it easier into the diaper and you dont need hand towels. Or check out the booster pads on amazon (above) too, I think it will stop your laundry of hand towels at least.
PS My moms never had a bed sore or rash in almost 8 years also.
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dmasty: Have you considered investing in a bedside commode? It should be worth the initial investment in the long run because you won't have to buy as many pads/diapers/underpants e.g. whatever you choose to call them.
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here's what i do for my mother and she sleeps 14 hours a night! i clean her with baby oil on a damp cloth...in evening...i put vaseline on her butt and upper thights, put on a disposable diaper with a pad in it...then i use two hand towels folded in half...with a washable cotton diaper with snaps on top of that!! i keep a 4 x 4 mattress pad on top of the sheet...and it works!!! she doesn't get up all night...i don't either...not one dry spot or chapped area on her body!! good lucky guys! we all find our ways eventually...hit and miss!! lol
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Wow! Thank you so much everyone for your very helpful, thoughtful responses. This community is such a lifesaver and I look forward to being able to give back to others in the future. I have learned a lot on this topic today from all of you.
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I have this problem 99% under control now and I hope I can help you. First of all, using a pad in a diaper defeats the purpose as it rolls off it. IF you want to use a pad, cut slices under it so the urine can flow thru to the diaper also.
This is what I use and my Mom goes 12 hours days and 12 hours nights with this combination on. I order the tab diapers from amazon and the boosters from amazon. I also keep mom slightly raised, not flat at night to the urine always goes into the diaper.
Here is the diaper... TENA Stretch Ultra Brief 2XL - New! 64/Case: Health & Personal Care
Here is the booster...
NorthShore Booster Pads w/ Adhesive, 2X-Large Contour, Case/80 (8/10s): Health & Personal Care
If they suddenly wet too much at night, its a UTI, give amoxicillin 2x daily for 7 days, as per your doctor of course. I HOPE this helps, been at this over 7 years now.
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Depends comes in different absorbancies. If this woman is going all night, maybe she needs medication.
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I used a pad inside my son's brief. It provides an extra layer of absorbption. The pad was more narrow than the crotch of the brief. When the pad was saturated it would spill over into the brief which did a good job at pulling it in. I also used a disposable under pad for those occasions that the pad and brief were both over full. This system saved me a lot of laundry over the years and even more in frustration.
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Wow how timely this question is! My FIL needed to be sedated last night which makes him sleep thru til morning. Usually gets up 2-3x to pee during the night. Today he got up w a saturated brief and guard, plus peed 4 oz more on toilet. I used our old food scale to weigh his briefs, subtracted the dry weight. He had 730gm or about 24 ounces, of urine in them! The carpet was dry, as was the BR floor after he walked in there to change. Small area of urine on the sheets. We use Depend brand at night, Assurance (Wal-Mart brand) in daytime, as they hold same amount, but are not as leakproof at night due to a higher leg cut and looser fit. The guards we buy in either brand. I filled one with water and it started dripping around 250mL, just over a cupful. We change guards when wet, use brief up to 48 hrs which has happened once in two months as his incontinent episodes increase. He usually pees around 2-4 oz at a time during the day. Figuring that with the amount found this am, probably went 6-8 times before waking up, or had larger amounts each time due to sedative relaxing his bladder and prostate.
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Mom still is continent with urine, up to a point, but not bowels. She's 97 with dementia. We use the pull-ups (I call them disposable panties) provided by hospice during the day and Depend at night. Recently I've added Abeena Abri-Flex Premium Air Plus to the selection, for times I think Mom might sleep in. They really sop up the stuff.

Members have provided good answers for you, especially seeing a doctor, so hopefully this challenge will be managed soon. God bless.
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Idk what size she is....if the smallest depends is too big, the largest huggies pull up might fit better, and pads will make them last the night. There are some aviator supply places online that make a thing that works in conjunction with a female urinal, so no need to get up out of bed, perhaps...it's "hold and go"..just like the fellas. Also can use it to pee standing up...pilots use...if you go that route, use a bed pad til you get used to it.....the pilot store I think is the name of it
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I think maybe the fact that she is getting up so many times to urinate at night and trouble walking should be addressed before worrying about a diaper. Please see a MD,something may be wrong.
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Great advice on pads, briefs, and commodes. Underbed pads (disposable or washable) are also good too for "just in case" a leak. The re-usable ones are far more comfortable. Both are included in the same coverage as the briefs/pads once she's diagnosed with incontinence. It's important she talk with a physician in any case. Dozens of times nightly (24 or more times) means about every 20-30 minutes which is way beyond typical incontinece, and she can't be getting any quality sleep. Best and hugs. Good for you trying to help and with your Mother too.
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I found depends pull ups with a tena overnight pad to work best. The pads were not too thick so more comfortable and the back of the pad was wider then the front. I tried a lot of different brands and combinations but these worked best for us. When wearing during the day we would just remove the pad if we didn't make it to the bathroom in time and put a new pad on,this way we didn't have to take all of the bottom clothes and shoes off. My mom preferred to wear pants. Good luck
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If you look on the manufacturers' websites, you can see how much each product will absorb - they come in so many different shapes and sizes that I'm not surprised people find it confusing.

Does your mother's friend have a commode by her bed, though? I can sympathise with her getting fed up with getting up, but if the urge to urinate is waking her anyway it seems a shame for her to head down the slippery slope - maybe a bedside commode would be a compromise?
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yes..pads are thicker than the disposable diapers...and half the cost. pads vary in thickness in length and can save you a lot of money if you do use the pads in the disposable diapers. you can change those and not have to throw the diaper away!
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My mom also puts a pad inside her disposable briefs. It makes her feel more secure. Medicare may help with the cost if her doctor writes a script for them.
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I consider a "diaper" and a "disposable brief" the same thing. Although I don't use the term "diaper". I say "brief" or "undergarment".

Whether someone uses a pad inside the brief or not the brief should be changed everyday like underwear for hygienic purposes. Unless there's incontinence in which case the brief should be changed after every accident.
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