Routine dental appointments are becoming a nightmare for my elderly FIL. The office isn't wheelchair accessible and is risky for us to get him in a chair. The exams themselves exhaust him. Plus his dementia is just bad enough that he can't manage any kind of post dental care, and parkinson's is affecting his ability to swallow. Does anyone have suggestions?
No matter how you cut it, he is at the final term of his life, why upset him? Let him be.
My mother is 98, losing some teeth, she has most of her mindset, she is not interested in doing anything. She says "I don't need a full set of teeth when I die". I agree!
I think it's hard for people to stop taking parents for things like eye doctor appointments or dentist visits when they have dementia or a terminal illness because it can feel like they are giving up on them.
But I like to think of it as not giving up but accepting where they are at in their disease and pivoting accordingly.
I tried to suggest to my parents that at 80 maybe dad didn't need to do the routine colonoscopy anymore. They were appalled at not doing preventative tests so I backed off because they are still in good health and active.
Yet both agree they probably wouldn't do chemo if they had colon cancer. I did get them to agree that if mom or dad had dementia they wouldnt be taking each other for a colonoscopy.
Recently he referred her for an extraction. Same issue as you at the dental surgeon's office: it was if they'd never encountered an elderly person before (which is so confusing, because I would assume that older people often need extractions?).
Anyway, the prep for the extraction made her very dizzy and she fell, ended up in the hospital for a night, and never fully recovered from that episode (and never had the extraction).
Now I cook everything until it is mushy and that seems to be okay (for now).
For your FIL, I would not worry. Get those sponges on a stick with toothpaste in them. At least he will get brushed.
https://www.amazon.com/ZIZNBA-Disposable-Unflavored-Sponge-Swabs%EF%BC%8CTooth/dp/B077W223MF/ref=asc_df_B077W223MF/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=241948599983&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11867037612623266493&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=t&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9003829&hvtargid=pla-406776595429&psc=1
I think were I you I would discuss with his dentist.
The swallow problem should be taken care of by those nifty suckers, but I sure understand the rest of it At some point, with little decay happening in latter years, you have only gum disease to worry over, and at his age it is unlikely to be a problem.
Isn't it a shame there isn't a visiting dentist, one to just take a look without xays, and talk to seniors? But that I know of there isn't such a thing. Yet.
Hospice care is likely eminent soon, he has had three extended hospitalizations in less than a year and we just want his last time to be as calm as possible for him
The swallowing issue from his Parkinson's needs to be addressed with his neurologist. Maybe a medication can help.
If he is having trouble swallowing, the water and teeth polish that is used could easily go into his lungs, instead of his stomach and cause aspiration pneumonia and that can be very deadly.
I'm hoping that he is now just on either a pureed or soft food diet and that his drinks are being thickened with a product like Thick It, since he's having swallowing issues.
However, at our assisted living the director is looking into a mobile dental office that does routine things and pulls teeth. That would be a godsend for me. Perhaps there is something like that out your way too!
Good luck. We all try to do our best for our family, and sometimes you have to know when to let certain things go.
I am sorry!!!
Since he’s 94 yrs old, unless he’s in pain, I wouldn’t put him through the stress of a dental visit.
My Husband was non compliant with his dental appointments.
Any dental work would have resulted in open wounds in his mouth that would have been impossible to care for.
Any dental work would have necessitated anesthesia and that would have been a nightmare itself.
Even a medication to calm him would have been impossible for me to manage him, he would have been a fall risk, I would not have been able to safely get him back into the house.
And the decline after any sedation would have been bad.
Since he was sticking pretty much to soft foods, pureed or thickened liquids chewing was not a problem.
I still did oral care and watched for any spots that might have been a problem. I figured if there were sore area I would have dealt with them with numbing or "teething" ointments.
See if you can find a DDS to come to the house (google 'DDS house calls' in your area)
* Call a DDS school ...
- Would be a good experience for a DDS student to do (come to the house). ...
- And DDS schools 'should' include this option in their teaching / training programs - as baby boomers continue to age, there will be more need for 'house calls' - every institution / business / organization needs (will need) to adapt to our country's aging population.
You want to prevent infection.
Losing his teeth is secondary.
Gena / Touch Matters