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Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Tell her that she doesn't have to worry because you have taken care of it, then try to change the subject and redirect. I'm sorry for the family member, hopefully this isn't someone she was formerly close to 🙁.
Thank you for your advice. This is all very new to me. Unfortunately, the people she is accusing are And have always been very close to her and love her dearly. They would be devastated if they knew . I do believe they would understand given her mental status. I hope she doesn’t ever approach them with this accusation. Thanks again. I hope it works.
I agree with cwillie...tell her it has been taken care of But to your response... I do hope the family members that she is accusing are fully aware of her dementia. If not you should tell them and also explain what is happening just in case she says something to them or to someone else and word gets back to these family members. Also if there is a way to "mend the rift" you might want to try that as well. But not if it puts your relationship in jeopardy and she thinks you are now "in cahoots" with the "blackmailers" You have to think when dealing with some forms of Dementia that life is like a Soap Opera and you are playing a role in someone else's life.
If people have loved her dearly, they will grieve with you AND FOR HER, that this has happened, and is a part of her loss to herself and others, as the victim of a devastating and ultimately fatal disease.
For a period of time, when my grandmother accused my father, whom she had dearly loved, of poisoning her well and stealing from her, my mother and father stayed away from her a bit, but I as a teenager, was able to maintain the link between the people whom I loved most in the world. With time she forgot her accusations, and we were able to interact again, to an extent limited by her ongoing symptoms of dementia.
Dementia can have symptoms that are embarrassing and distressing, but as part of her illness, those who love her need to realize that her symptoms come from the deterioration of her brain, and her increasing inability to filter and correctly use the messages coming into her thoughts.
You are right, arguing, reasoning, discussing, none of that really helps. Distraction sometimes will.
We who post here understand how hard this is, and many of us have lived it. Please don’t blame her OR yourself, for an illness that can’t be controlled. If she were able to be who she was, she would do that for all of you who love her.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I do believe they would understand given her mental status. I hope she doesn’t ever approach them with this accusation. Thanks again. I hope it works.
But to your response...
I do hope the family members that she is accusing are fully aware of her dementia. If not you should tell them and also explain what is happening just in case she says something to them or to someone else and word gets back to these family members.
Also if there is a way to "mend the rift" you might want to try that as well. But not if it puts your relationship in jeopardy and she thinks you are now "in cahoots" with the "blackmailers"
You have to think when dealing with some forms of Dementia that life is like a Soap Opera and you are playing a role in someone else's life.
For a period of time, when my grandmother accused my father, whom she had dearly loved, of poisoning her well and stealing from her, my mother and father stayed away from her a bit, but I as a teenager, was able to maintain the link between the people whom I loved most in the world. With time she forgot her accusations, and we were able to interact again, to an extent limited by her ongoing symptoms of dementia.
Dementia can have symptoms that are embarrassing and distressing, but as part of her illness, those who love her need to realize that her symptoms come from the deterioration of her brain, and her increasing inability to filter and correctly use the messages coming into her thoughts.
You are right, arguing, reasoning, discussing, none of that really helps. Distraction sometimes will.
We who post here understand how hard this is, and many of us have lived it. Please don’t blame her OR yourself, for an illness that can’t be controlled. If she were able to be who she was, she would do that for all of you who love her.