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Hi all, Brad here--

New to the forum but am wondering if anyone has dealt with anxiety in caring for their parent(s). In my case it's Alzheimer's related (9 years in), but I'm curious to see if others are experiencing the same thing and what their approach is.

Thanks in advance--

B

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I think he's referring to his parent. That being said, I think it's a given that family caregivers experience at least some level of anxiety! I never suffered from that particular malady until I started taking care of my 93-year-old father who has dementia. So much so that last week I had to go to the emergency room because I thought I was having a heart attack due to erratic pressure in my chest. Turns out it was an anxiety attack!

On the issue of a dementia parent who suffers from anxiety, I would say my father---who has ALWAYS been a worry wart---is the reigning King of Angst.

It's easy to become inpatient and weary of this--especially when the "cause" for all this OCD/anxiety changes from day to day. And by the time you think you have "soothed the savage beast" of fear-driven anxiety, they forget: (1) that you ever brought them comfort about that one particular obsession (so that they get anxious all over again) or (2) the obsession itself. By then they are on to a new angst.

Who can keep up? I surely can't. It is oh so very waring. Only God's grace keeps me from going completely mad!
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I know I've been suffering from anxiety since I moved in with my parents. I am so worried that one of them will not wake up one morning. They have a myriad of physical ailments. I'm scared to death. I'm seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist and the medication seems to help with full blown panic attacks but I can't remember the last time I was completely anxiety free. I do yoga which helps a little and unfortunately I'm unable to exercise because I've got arthritis in my knees and bone spurs in my feet. I feel like I'm the one that needs a caregiver! Any suggestions?
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I agree with consistency of care. My Dad and I have a very predictable schedule, so even when he does not know who I am, the schedule is the same. I have this typed up for any care giver also.

A write things down. If I go out for a couple hours I write a note, each time, "Shopping, back at 6pm with dinner...limit snacking" He has little short term memory, likes to know where I am, so when he forgets, he looks at the note. Also I do this on a regular schedule. I leave him with cut up fruit, a SoBe coconut drink, a protein bar, and set the TV for America's Funniest Videos (makes him laugh) or a funny movie. So far so good, although the MD says soon he will not be able to be left alone.

Keep in mind what it would be to suddenly not know what, who or where you are multiple times a day. Or to realize that you have just spent who knows how long without a thought in your head (like waking for anesthesia).
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I think anxiety in the elderly is more common than most people realize. Sometimes it seems to be related to physical and/or mental conditions and other times it is an extension of that individual's personality (always worrying about something). However, I think it is also understandable for most people when you consider that most of the control of their life and situation has been taken away and they are dependent on other people for their care. I suspect I'd be anxious too if I lost all that control. In my mother's case, her anxiety was so severe that she couldn't sleep or eat in some cases. Medication helped a lot but she still has anxiety whenever there are changes in her routine.
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Just a quick clarification, Brad. Is it your parent or you who is experiencing the anxiety?

I think that anxiety is fairly common in dementia. Sometimes a drug can help relieve it. Have you discussed this with your parent's doctor?
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My 90 year old husband with vascular dementia - about 4 years - is very nervous all the time. I have just tried a couple of homeopathic anxiety remedies by Similasan and Mylands.. Since he responds to most chemical drugs poorly - extreme diarrhea even with lomotil, etc., these are helping some, tho I am giving them cautiously due to previous explosions.

The Hyland's helps with insomnia also - no side effects so far! It's worth a try.

Our latest anxious episode concerned what he should do if he could not collect a specimen from a bowel movement in the middle of the night. He had dreamed up a trip to the Dr. who he thought had asked for this. The Similisan helped him believe that it was not necessary. Phew!!

Good luck!
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I dealt with major anxiety when caring for my mom, who was a victim of medical malpractice. The hospital screwed up and we were all walking on eggshells just to get her better. Unfortunately she passed away 5 months after the offending surgery. Watching her deteriorate at the hands of incompetent medical staff and trying to counter that with long visits late into the night was quite taxing. I would go for walks and/or work out at a gym just to take care of me every now and then. I felt guilty going off and doing things for myself, but i felt I needed to be strong and healthy to get my mom back to her previous quality of life. I'm not a big pill taker, so if you're the one with the anxiety, it's your call to take medication. If it's your parent, then zoloft might be a better choice. The hospital gave my mom risperdal and ativan which made her crazy-like and also knocked her out. I wouldn't allow that for your parent. Have to be very careful when administering such drugs to the elderly. I wish you peace in taking care of your parent.
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yep-everytime my mom gets lonely it triggers an anxiety attack-she also has sundowners syndrome...they seem connected. She takes ativan for this morning and evening (sometimes afternoon). I get calls at work from her wanting to say "goodbyes". I chalk it up to anxiety, fight or flight reaction makes her heart pound, sweating, hard to catch her breath and dizziness from lack of oxygen. Most times she can be "talked" down from it with lots of hugs, kisses and attention.
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Xanax. For your parent and maybe for you. Seriously. "Alprazolam is my friend."
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Seraquel worked wonders on my mother-in-law.
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