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Please I need your advice regarding dealing with dementia patients. My brother is 75 and he started having signs of dementia 2 years ago. He is becoming very stubborn regarding eating meals, he refuses to eat sometimes for a whole day. At times, he accepts eating only when in the company of specific people, but never when in his wife's or son's company. He eats huge amount of chocolates behind our back! He refuses to change clothes, or have a bath. He smokes every few minutes and just goes out to walk round the house, he is just restless. But when he refuses to eat and after begging him to do so, he claims that he is full. The doctor uses glucose injections to feed him as he becomes very weak.
The doctors say he is physically ok.

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He may be physically okay, but it sounds as though mentally he is not well. What kind of doctor is he seeing? I would seek out a geriatrician (an MD who specializes in the treatment of the elderly) or a neurologist who specializes in dementia.
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Since, he's diagnosed with dementia, I'd try to approach it more from a medical perspective and not stubbornness. When the brain has damage, it's not really something that he can control. Since, this is the case, it may take a team of people who learn to understand and manage his care. Working with dementia patients can be very frustrating and challenging. Being resistant to care is not unusual. Do you think that his wife and son are able to do that? Are they his caregivers in the home? Are they open to bringing in aids to help them?

I might consult with a geriatric psychiatrist regarding his behavior. My LO sees one to monitor her medication. They may be able to determine if he suffers with depression or anxiety, which can effect the appetite.

My LO, who has advanced Vascular Dementia went through a period where she didn't care to eat much of anything. She would eat chips, cake, ice cream, but, that was about it. After she got settled in to her Memory Care facility and on meds for depression and anxiety, she regained her good appetite. Plus, I think that sitting in the dining room with the other residents and seeing them enjoy their meals and snacks, helped stimulate her appetite too.

I'd be careful to watch him if he goes outside to make sure he doesn't walk away and get lost. I'd keep the lighter secure for safety reasons. They may also inquire about a bath aid to help with his bathing. That can be a struggle, but, professionals sometime have ways to handle that.
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Is he on meds for depression and agitation?
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Thanks for your advice, but he is already following up with a geriatrician. Main problem is us dealing with him!
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