A sister and I have applied for conservativeship (or however you say it!) for just my Mom. Dad's reasoning ability gone. Has two leases on two cars that he does not need to be driving at all. We've already had DMV send letter revoking license; he has 30 days to appeal. Don't know if he has reasoning enough to do so; regardless he'll have to take a test. (will probably fail). Mom totally on wheelchair/occasional walker - two broken hips, two back surgeries; mental illness issues, and obviously totally dependent upon him. He is now making her choose the family or himself; says he's moving her into apt. he's already rented. It's an hour away both ways. There will be no 24 hour care as he has now; he thinks he can hire people but does not have the money (and is in debt without even mentioning the auto leases). I have been reading up on procedures in Georgia and now wonder, if we get conservativeship, and he moves her anyway (to a different county from where they are now) will he be in civil contempt? If so, what action will be taken? And what will our legal choices be when our time cushion runs out? We have not had to pay so far for conservativeship. He says they're moving tomorrow. State sent someone to evaluate Mom this morning; I am sure they found her upset; lately she's been saying she wants to die, and Dad is furious with all of us and sent letters out to relatives (who have nothing to do with the situation) saying all of us are crazy. We have been calm and loving in our approach. We don't want Mom any more upset than she already is. Are we doomed to hiring an elder attorney?
Or can you start with whoever you used to help you file the conservator paperwork for your mom? Were you able to do that without an attorney? You said it didn't cost you anything, I'd say start with those resources. Good luck!!
you're burly friends should not text your father
two strong looking guys
get what you need legally in place
sometimes a judge will order certain things when considering an emergency conservatorship... did the judge order that your father can't move your mother? If so you need to again stand in the way of the movement and show the court order to the police. I can't tell if you mean your dad is planning to try to move your mom today, Sunday. If so, you may have to call the police. If your dad gets combative with them, he will be arrested -- you can only hope! Then you can temporarily take charge of your mother and prevent her movement. Yikes! If the police believe he is a danger to himself or others -- for example your mom -- they could arrest him for psychiatric reasons (called a 5150 in California) and he would be put on a 72 hour hold for observation and evaluation. Should that occur, you would get your mom out of that situation and have her where he doesn't know she is. Then the emergency conservatorship hearing will occur before he can do anything about it. And his behavior will lend credibility to your request.
what will happen to him or what his life will be like after she passes away. If he had ongoing mental / poor judgment issues this type of insecurity could have throw him over the edge explaining the behavior.
Good luck, Just get your mother situated first then deal with the father's issues if he is more able bodied physically.
There is only so much you can do at one time.
You need to work with and talk with the person who went to check on your mother. If the apartment is in an assisted living complex, it might not be a bad thing. Get everyone on the same page and you won't need burly guys to control the situation.
Anyway, For APS was a lifesaver. They know what can be done. I wouldn't hesitate to call them and report your father if you have to. Especially because he is the POA for your mother and his own dr indicated that he was not all there. They will know what you can and can't do. I hear horror stories about state agencies but this time they made all the difference.
What about asking the sherrif's office to help collect your mother? If there is a court order they might do it. I wish you all the best with this. keep us posted. peace and luck - BG
Sounds like Dad can't accept getting old and it's limitations. It's kinda of romantic in a sad way...wanting to take his wife away with him from "all this" or did I read that wrong? Did he rent the apartment for her and he stays at the assisted living? I have no answer for you there seems to be a history or some kind of stressor that is making him react so irrationally. When the people I care for do "irrational" things I try to put myself in their situation to get to the root of the behavior. Sometimes helplessness, stress, fear from someone outside their true life (neighbor or landlord) or even inside their true life makes that basic fight or flight behavior rear it's ugly head. Sometimes there is not reason it's just irrational behavior. It sound like you want to save your Mom. Are you prepared to take care of her? Have you offered understandable solutions to your Dad for her care? Why is he leaving, or just taking her out of the assisted living? Good luck I hope all went, is going, well.