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He won't allow anyone to help him. He is afraid of falling in the tub. He does clean himself with a washcloth. I know this isn't enough, because he wears Depends and has occasional accidents.

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Does your Dad's bathroom have any grab bars to help him get in and out of the tub, not it have them professionally installed... hopefully there is a bathmat inside the tub, one that covers the whole bathtub bottom. As for showering, if there are glass doors sometimes one develops claustrophobia, keeping both doors slid open a few inches might be helpful.

If none of those suggestions would work, at least he is giving himself a birdbath. Buy some Huggies *natural* wipes for him to clean his private area.
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Is there a stand up shower available that he could use? Put a shower chair inside along with the hand held wand and the grab bars. Not having to climb over the edge of the bathtub might be helpful.

Maybe you could hire a male aide to assist him in his showering. If it could be the same person each week that would help and he could gain your father's confidence. Bath aides usually have been trained and have tricks up their sleeves to convince him. They usually won't FORCE him, but perhaps could, in time, convince him.
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You don't want him getting bed sores, pressure sores. Calmoseptin is a good barrier lotion. He is 94 years old, he most likely needs help so ask local hospital or nursing care facility for suggestions or part time help to come in. Shower or portable bath Chair will help. Shower benches will stretch across bathtub so you sit down and slide over. Maybe he doesn't have the energy to do a full shower standing up, and getting up out of a tub is tough when you get older. Ask your local pharmacy store, CVS, RITEAID, for suggestions.
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Install a hand wand for showering if he doesn't have one, with that and a shower chair should help along with the necessary grab rails.
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These are all helpful suggestions - I've tried most of them, but we do have a new male caregiver that may be able to convince my dad. I will definitely ask him to try. Thank you!
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