He told me that I wasn't moving fast enough. 1 month ago I set up full time home care service during the AM. Dad said that they weren't working out. He said that he was going over to XXXX nursing home & check in.." I know those people real good...they'll take care of me" Dad was in rehab at this facility. It is a good facility. how can I get over to him that this can take 6 wks or so. My sister,brother & I live 5-6 hrs away from him. That is the way it has been. We want him in a facility closer to us. That is OK w/him....til now.
Dad would have the right to decide where to live. Has he agreed to move near you but then thinks you are taking too long to arrange that? And why is it taking so long?
One of my aunts worked in a community long-term-care facility before she retired. Many years later she walked over there from her house and told them she thought it was about time she moved in, at least for the fall. She lived there the rest of her life. So, yes, people do just walk in and ask to register!
How long it would take for your dad to actually be able to move in would mostly depend, I suppose, on whether they have any immediate openings or he'd have to wait for a room to open up. Also arranging the financial side might cause some delay.
From the time we decided Mom needed a nursing home to the time we moved her in was less than 2 weeks. So, yes, it can happen quite quickly.
If Dad goes over to XXXX and discovers it will take several weeks, perhaps he will be more patient with how you are proceeding. If they have an immediate opening and you can't persuade him that it will be better in the long run if he is nearer you, well, then, I guess he'll have a new address.
I see from your profile that your Dad has age related decline [same as my Dad], would he really need to be in a nursing home? Depending on how much care he really needs, maybe an Assisted Living would work for now, especially if there is one in the same complex as the nursing home.
It is understandable you want Mom closer to you, but let him make this decision since he is still of clear mind. Let him still have the feeling that he has control. Elders like to stay in an area where they have lived for many years. That way when they read the local newspaper and watch the local TV news, it all looks familiar.
I'd give him the choice, certainly. Likely he'll find it more enjoyable than the current situation and stay. And that's OK.