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He has dementia and is confused.

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Oh--an dd twist on hoarding!

A friend of mine told me that when her inlaws died they found over 300 of those little Altoid tins in the garage. Empty.

My FIL hoarded golf balls. At the time of his death he had 30,000 of them. 19 years later the SIL who was supposed to sell them as 'range balls' to a golf course, still has about 20,000 of them. So many that can only park one car in their garage.

I'd ask the NH for help. Those containers don't microwave well and they are really not meant for multiple uses. If you can get through to dad that he's doing something 'good' for the environment, maybe that would help?

IDK, since I am a 1/3 owner of 20,000 golf balls.
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Isthisrealyreal Oct 2022
You could make ladder golf games and get rid of some of those balls.
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Can you ask the AL if they can request that they get picked up at the next meal delivery? Maybe say they recycle them and their supply is running short?

I save containers, they have lids and are great for disposable project uses and I have to designate a space and once that is full, no more keeping. Otherwise, I will have more plastic lidded containers then I will use is a lifetime. Waste not, want not! It is a saying that many generations have been impacted by. Learning to use something once and then throw it away is a fairly new concept and truly goes against common sense.
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When dementia is involved with a 95 year old senior, all sorts of issues take place in Assisted Living that would not happen in Memory Care AL. There are too many decisions he has to make in AL, such as 'what to do with the food containers when they're empty', so they stack up in his apartment. And for whatever reason, the staff isn't throwing them out, which can lead to bacteria & mold growing in those containers, etc.

If I recall from my folks' AL days, the staff is not permitted to throw ANYTHING out in a resident's room w/o prior authorization. Everything in their room is private property, that's the reason why. So you'd probably have to give permission to the staff (as dad's POA) to get rid of those food containers once each day.

Either the staff & management acknowledge that dad has dementia and they CAN and WILL work with him to manage his deficits, or he's placed in Memory Care where these issues won't take place to begin with. Memory Care provides a very shrunken down world for the elder where very, very few decisions have to be made by them. That helps tremendously with situations such as you're facing now with dad. There are no microwaves in their suites, or other gadgets to frustrate them or potentially harm them, in mom's MC no food at ALL was served in their suites; the resident had to go into the dining room area and be seated for their meal to be served to them. That was so the staff could monitor them to make sure they didn't need help eating or that they were choking on food alone in their room. Alzheimers/dementia can turn very ugly very quickly and it's vital for staff to be present for an elder at most times if they need help.

To me, this would be a big red flag that dad needs more help than he's getting now in his AL and that changes need to be made. Can his care plan be increased/upped to where he can get more services? If so, that's something to look into. Otherwise, speak with the Executive Director about his cognitive deficits and what can be done to accommodate his needs now.

Good luck!
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Babs75 Oct 2022
My dads anxiety was at its peak back then. Now in memory care, it's pretty much non existent. Yes, decisions are all made for him. He's the calmest I've ever seen him since he moved there 1-1/2 years ago.
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This is a sort of hoarder situation, and happily he is limited now in what he can hoard. I would ask the facility to aid you here and tell Dad that they hope he will help them collect these so they can recycle. They can ask him to pile them up and give to them, or, if food contaminated and a pest control problem they can collect from him daily with a "We need these back for reuse/recycle; we will be in trouble if we don't return yours".
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If we use paper plates, my loved one tries to save them. Does not throw them out.
Thanks for posting this as another behavior that indicates cognitive decline.
I will make a note of it and maybe find a solution for the frustration of always finding a paper plate needing thrown out on the counter.

Your Dad lives in AL.
Don't the staff empty the trash for them daily?

Maybe ask staff to check for the empty white cartons and throw them out?
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Who is this a problem for? Is he aggressive or excessively uncomfortable when they are taken from him and thrown away? Do you notice other signs of agitation or anxiety or “collecting/hoarding”?

IF he is disturbed about this, you may want to consult a geriatric psychiatrist and see if a small dose of medication could make him more comfortable.

If he is not bothered, could you or one of the staff “help” him get the containers together and dispose of them, or plant flower seeds in them and share them as gifts, then “share” containers with other residents?

can you tell him you need containers at home?
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My dad is 96 and it was the same with him with partially eaten meals in his refrig in styro containers and those paper coffee cups they serve his coffee in. It would get pretty gross with all of those stacked up. The staff would sneak in his room when he was at appointments and throw them away and he would get so mad but they had certain cleanliness rules there. He did the same when he lived in his house. My mom was the same age and her thing was empty plastic containers of every kind. We threw away so many when we cleaned out her apartment 10 years ago. We believe it was because he was born in the depression. I have heard this from other people with parents the same age.
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freqflyer Oct 2022
Babs75, I would find that my Mom would have plastic wrap drying in the dish drainer on the kitchen counter, after she had washed them.

Dad saved all the prescription medicine bottles/tops. That was fine when he use to do woodworking and fix it stuff to save nails, screws and bolts. Later on in years he still saved them, along with used batteries that still had a tiny bit of life in them. Had a shoe box full.

Well, they were recycling long before it became a poplar social thing to do :)
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After the answers made I understand. Dad WON'T throw the containers out. I would ask the Director or head Nurse what can be done. There is housekeeping. Aides must come in and out. If I was an Aide I would take it when I left. When Mom was changed in her room, the aide would put the soiled Depends in a plastic trash bag and place it outside the door for Housekeeping to pick up. Why can't they do that for takeout containers.
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My ex MIL had over 400 Cool Whip containers w/lids when passed away. My son and granddaughter cleaned out the kitchen at her house. She had thousands of bread bag twist ties. She was not a hoarder in general and an immaculate housekeeper.
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Babs75 Oct 2022
Yes, and I had forgotten about moms bread bags! We always used those growing up when we needed a plastic bag. I don't ever remember her buying a zip lock. She had a drawer full of bread bags, too, along with all her Cool Whip containers.
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