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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Yikes, I'm not so sure about the hooker idea. I'd go with the daycare or church activities. If he can just meet some nice ladies, he can have fun fantasizing about them (if you get my drift). Prostitution is illegal just about everywhere, so I'd hate to see him arrested or get an STD. Or how about looking for some events for low-vision people, where he might meet some others?
Making the decision to involve yourself in facilitating your father's engagement of his libido is very misguided, not to to mention highly dysfunctional from a Family Systems perspective . Appropriate advocating and healthy caregiving for an elderly parent should not place focus of energy on their sexuality. The kind of stimulation an elderly man or woman truly benefits from/needs is not about 'sexual satisfaction', but rather their emotional health. Your father is likely challenged by depression and/or anxiety and is ill-equipped to process those negative narratives... So, he confuses his negative feelings, then channels his deficit in coping into libido. He is exhibiting maladaptive coping. Your 86 year old father would benefit from a visit with a counselor/therapist experienced in geriatric health. Your dad needs a hobby... Not hand job.
He would not be the first man to offend a lady at day care so don't worry about it. I am with Pam on this one and don't forget the lubricant. Failing that hire a prostitute.
Maybe you need to redirect that feeling ..,maybe get involved in the day care , I love all the ideas except the hooker idea . We see a lot of STD s with older folks they think they can't get pregnant so they go wild and end up with STDs . A 89 year old crazy with syphilis gone to their brain is not a good thing . seniors have enough health problems lets not add more on .
Justintime could you please fill in your profile so we know more about you. Your answer to the gentleman who still enjoys sexual feeling to me sounded very harsh. Are you comming from a therapist point of view or a rigid religeous one.
Wow. I would never suggest a prostitute or surrogate. Can you spell STD, HIV, AIDS, hepatitis, chlamydia, herpes, gonorrhea, or the next undiscovered disease? The vibrator may be the best option, but at least check with the doctor to "make sure your heart is healthy enough" as we've all heard on the Cialis adverts.
P.S. I bet half of us (or more) on this board are facing the same thing your dad is facing. I'm certainly not going to look for a male hooker to satisfy me. Ugh! :(
Veronica...It's interesting that you assume that where I am coming from must be "therapist" or "religion"...more specifically "rigid" religion. I am 'coming from' neither - in the case that serves to assist you in labeling me ;-)
In regard to considering shared perspectives...I encourage you apply wider consideration to the reality that people share what they believe and/or understand from varied experiences/education. And, that the more we assume...the less we are able to take in potential learning. Further, it's okay for me to suggest -what many of the comments here already do...that an elderly man, that is journeying through a major loss, is not in need of 'sexual gratification' just because he demonstrates 'feeling sexy' (and, by the way, that vague description leaves a lot of room for speculation) ; But that intuition and logic tell most of us that what this senior is seeking is 'emotional satisfaction'. This senior father deserves to have his needs assessed, addressed and met. In addition, I am sharing that it is not appropriate for an adult child caregiver to invest their energies and advocacy toward their parents' sexual proclivity, much less to actually seek out a sexual outlet for their parent. That action is one that encroaches on healthy boundaries within the relational dynamic.
I encourage you to re read my comment. It's unfortunate that you received my comment as 'harsh'. I did end with campy sentence, but the core intent of my message is 'direct', not harsh, and was intended to serve the considerations of a dedicated daughter who clearly desires to help her father.
Again, this elderly father would likely benefit from talking with a skilled geriatric therapist.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Making the decision to involve yourself in facilitating your father's engagement of his libido is very misguided, not to to mention highly dysfunctional from a Family Systems perspective . Appropriate advocating and healthy caregiving for an elderly parent should not place focus of energy on their sexuality. The kind of stimulation an elderly man or woman truly benefits from/needs is not about 'sexual satisfaction', but rather their emotional health. Your father is likely challenged by depression and/or anxiety and is ill-equipped to process those negative narratives... So, he confuses his negative feelings, then channels his deficit in coping into libido. He is exhibiting maladaptive coping. Your 86 year old father would benefit from a visit with a counselor/therapist experienced in geriatric health. Your dad needs a hobby... Not hand job.
I am with Pam on this one and don't forget the lubricant.
Failing that hire a prostitute.
Your answer to the gentleman who still enjoys sexual feeling to me sounded very harsh.
Are you comming from a therapist point of view or a rigid religeous one.
The vibrator may be the best option, but at least check with the doctor to "make sure your heart is healthy enough" as we've all heard on the Cialis adverts.
In regard to considering shared perspectives...I encourage you apply wider consideration to the reality that people share what they believe and/or understand from varied experiences/education. And, that the more we assume...the less we are able to take in potential learning.
Further, it's okay for me to suggest -what many of the comments here already do...that an elderly man, that is journeying through a major loss, is not in need of 'sexual gratification' just because he demonstrates 'feeling sexy' (and, by the way, that vague description leaves a lot of room for speculation) ; But that intuition and logic tell most of us that what this senior is seeking is 'emotional satisfaction'. This senior father deserves to have his needs assessed, addressed and met. In addition, I am sharing that it is not appropriate for an adult child caregiver to invest their energies and advocacy toward their parents' sexual proclivity, much less to actually seek out a sexual outlet for their parent. That action is one that encroaches on healthy boundaries within the relational dynamic.
I encourage you to re read my comment. It's unfortunate that you received my comment as 'harsh'. I did end with campy sentence, but the core intent of my message is 'direct', not harsh, and was intended to serve the considerations of a dedicated daughter who clearly desires to help her father.
Again, this elderly father would likely benefit from talking with a skilled geriatric therapist.
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