My mother in law is genetically predisposed to Alzheimer's, I know because I had my husband tested and he is positive for two copies of the apoe4 variants. His grandfather (my MIL's father) died of dementia.
My MIL has recently started to get pretty combative with me. She insists I tell her things I've never told her. We were at the park a few days ago and she went up to a random woman and started asking her questions, then came back to me and said, "You told me that was your neighbor's nanny!!" I definitely didn't, but she kept insisting I did.
This is just one instance. It's probably happened over 15 times now that she brings up something I told her, that I literally never said. I try to discuss this with my husband but he just gets upset. Here's the thing - she seemingly only does this with me. She definitely doesn't do this with my husband, who she's much more friendly to.
She is 75, eats very poorly and does not exercise. I'm a nutritionist and know the importance of diet, exercise and overall healthy lifestyle for prevention, but my husband thinks she would never even try to change.
I really want my mother in law to live a long, healthy life. I want my son to grow up with her and my husband would be devastated if she developed dementia like his grandfather. Is there anything I can do? Am I overreacting?
This is your MIL? I'd be concerned about your husband not wanting to discuss his mother's health because it causes him to become upset. If you're going to be taking care of his mother, he needs to be involved.
I don't think you're overreacting but have your MIL tested first before becoming too alarmed.
I'd likely make a list of what you have observed about her and provide it to her doctor, if that is possible. Do you attend visits with her? I took my list and slipped it to the front desk person and said, Doctor needs to see this before exam. It proved quite helpful, because it gave the doctor heads up on what was happening. Of course, they need to rule out other things, like UTI, other infections, medication issues, vitamin deficiencies, etc. But, he can also do a mini evaluation in the office. That night not mean much, though, since some days, people with cognitive decline have good days and seem fine. You can discuss with the doctor on how to precede and what to watch out for.
The fact that she may have words with you and not others isn't that uncommon. My LO was that too in the beginning.
I'd find out what is causing her behavior. If that can be done, maybe husband will listen. If he is going to be mom's caretaker, he'll need to step up and accept reality, though. I hope you can find some answers.