My grandfather is the one I been caring for, as I mentioned he cant see ( little light vision) trouble hearing,bad legs, bad back, pace maker, congestive heart failure, etc. My father also has health issues such as diabetes,COPD, heart valve issues.. etc and now hes been told he has congestive heart failure as well. His tests so far revealed by the Drs he has under 1yr est. to live. He is not a candidate for surgery again.
I don't know how long with my grandfather we have either.. as the Drs haven't said anything to me but according to some people ( not Drs) it seems as if he has months to a couple years left.
My dad is only in his 60's and this is ruff. What family/ friends I have left which is literally a handful, their life is so messed up mentally and am unsure if one of them is off the drugs. I only have one friend.. maybe two that is mentally and financially stable. ( other family/friend asking me for money when I have none myself!- So Im in that financial category too. Add I have no job.) So Im panicking. Mentally they all come to me for help..
So Im sorry Im rambling on here.. Im just in shock everything is happening so fast, and am sure some of you have gone thru this . I need advice ! Support! Prayers! Miracles I know is too much to ask for. How do I not break down in front of my dad and grandpa crying over them?
You seem young, so as someone older who has been through a lot, I promise you... THIS TOO WILL PASS!!! Everything does. And for every hard thing we go through in life, there is a gift waiting on the other end if we act with love and integrity through the situation. Sending you a prayer and a virtual hug.
My dad lives with me but I'm at my grandfathers nightly and off and on during the day. We haven't and are not going to tell my grandfather but... my dad is getting worse by the day.. we might have to because at this point... I will need to jump even more between the two houses. Its just me and the one lady for my grandfather ( shes only there twice week 1-3hrs each time.)
I actually need a job asap because they pay the bills so on top of all this I have to find work. o maybe that will be my time to be away. But I hate the thought of leaving them. Thank you for answering :) Sorry to ramble again
Keep looking for services and support, wherever you can!!! Be creative. Talk to people you know even casually. Talk to your doctor too. Ask if he/she knows of any services that can help you. Also, you need to take care of yourself in order to keep taking care of everybody else! I know it all makes your head spin and it seems overwhelming now. As my dying aunt told me, "We're just going to take this one day a time." What a wise woman she was. Try to find your own center and not be overwhelmed, tackle one problem at a time, and ask for help when you need it.
Lastly, for yourself, you need to talk w/a minister or counselor to vent and help YOU through this tough time. Please DO NOT neglect yourself throughout this time.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. God bless you.
My grandfathers appts are in the next couple months and we will see what they say. They both are very ill today so I'm just blah. As far as them living together, they argue to much and wont... I suggested this yesterday but both said no for different reasons. Plus my kids are not easy to handle esp my son, and having all of us under one roof, we will have to see. It may come to that point unless I get some sort of help with one or the other. Yes, my grandfather is my fathers dad.
Thank you all so much. I never thought I would have to talk to some one like a pastor/ counselor but.. I may have to. Especially our because sadly and honestly.. I have so much doubt in my faith.. so much why nows. I know he will say " Its in Gods hands, up to him when he calls them home, their time" But right now, I just cant/ wont accept this for an answer. Esp with my dad now so soon- same time around as my grandfather. I mean I have lost other family incl a miscarriage,( Im still not over it)and a friend and Im just full of "whys".
you need the people around you , utilize them ..
pam, Im so sorry about your daughter :( Im glad you all are getting the family together. You both are in my thoughts.
You know, I think sometimes the people passing don't want to realize what grief they are leaving us with. So having everyone come now while she is still with you is great, but I might consider, ahem, very partially overriding some wishes for no wake or anything just for the sake of those who maybe can't be there and those who need the ceremony of saying goodbye and celebrating a life...I had some dear friends who for whatever reason had no funeral service and man, it leaves a bigger hole that way, I still don't feel "right" about either one....
You continue to be a blessing and a ray of light to me.
I think of the pain and exhaustion you must be going through.
I shold quit complaing and not being judgemental and should be more patient and loving.
Thank you, Pam
Marymember