I am 64 years old and having been living with her for seven years after my husband passed away and left me in debt. She doesn't drive but expects me to get her out at least three times a week even though she is on a walker and can barely stand for five minutes without having to sit down. She is able to do little things around the house but refuses to because she thinks she is the center of the universe and everyone, especially me should cater to her every whim. I have brought up the subject of an Assisted Living arrangement which would certainly give me my life back and mentioned she would have other people her age to talk to. Her answer to that was " The only way I'm leaving this house is in a body bag!!" How do you react to that??? I am so stressed, depressed, angry and cannot sleep through the night anymore because of her constant nagging the demands she puts on me.
No is a complete sentence.
Angel
My parents [who were in their 90's] had stopped driving but expected me to pick up where they had left off. No problem.... until I found out they liked getting out of the house 3 times a day. Kinda hard for me to do while I was working full-time, so that meant I had use to all of my vacations days, sick days, and days without pay. Eventually I had to tell them only Saturday afternoon, and only one grocery store, not 3 or 4 because one store had a sale on soup, another a sale on ice cream, etc.
Another thing happens, you once again become "the child" and your Mom "the parent" and what she says goes. They are in denial that you, yourself, are a senior citizen with your own age decline, aches and pains. Even waving my Medicare card and AARP card in front of my parents didn't change their thinking.
My Mom also refused senior living as she felt she and Dad could still manage on their own... she died trying to prove herself right. Dad quickly moved into senior living and loves being there. The house was too much work for him.
Have Mom visit some of the Assisted Living places... I know, easier said then done... many offer free lunch and a tour, they understand how stubborn an elder can be, so the Staff will fuss over your Mom... and will fuss over her even after she moves in :)
If Mom says again "The only way I'm leaving this house is in a body bag!!", ask her what color would she like that bag :P