First, I have just discovered this community and am quite grateful for all your shared experiences -- thank you!
My 93yo grandmother lives independently. I live within a couple hours' drive and visit monthly. She is still very sharp, very stubborn, and remains the grandmother and mother who refuses help from anyone. Being her grand-daughter, as opposed to her child, I'm able to broach subjects with her that her two sons cannot, including exercise and other health issues. She'll listen to me and not her sons. That said, I find myself in a critical position to convince her of the benefits of a mobility device, which she desperately needs.
She is generally in good health, but she has an awful arthritic knee that results in her shuffling. It's part pain and part poor balance from blood pressure medications. She's terrified of falling. My grandmother desperately strives to maintain her elegance and dignity. She's the type of woman who carries her cane -- let's just leave it at that!
She still desires to travel, and even has a trip in a couple months she's looking forward to. But her lack of mobility and stubbornness are really the only things holding this woman back from continuing to life a full life. As an example of her condition, when she's in the grocery store using a cart -- whereby she doesn't have to carry her purse and has something firm to grasp that rolls -- she will walk normally (and quickly!).
My question: how can I "convince" her to try these devices? Are there ones that I can "sell" to her not as walkers, but as bag-carriers, for example? Honestly, if it looks like a walker she won't touch it...
Many Thanks!
Anna
Last time I took my parents to a doctor appointment, once in the medical building Dad was already down the wall, sitting in his walker waiting for my Mom [she uses a cane] and me to reach his location. He had a big smile on his face. I told Dad he will need to put racing stripes on that walker :)
These roller walkers come in all different colors, like bright pink, purple, red, green, blue, etc. your grandmother would be the envy of her peer group !!
In the end you can only do so much. It's wonderful of you to take her past into consideration for how she acts now. That shows compassion and brains. But you also have to understand that she will do what she will do.
Suggest things when you can, but she's making a choice to not use aids where they would help. It's hard if she has to learn the tough way but sometimes that happens. It's not your fault.
Take care. Please keep in touch,
Carol
45) None of the other kids care for her as a result of her stubbornness and unwillingness to see anyone else's side. I know her life so I understand why she is the way she is and just try to be here . But I worry about her, and I worry either she will run into someone not so nice or worse hurt her self. are all in other states so there is not much choice
This needn't be said in a negative way, but a matter-of-fact reminder of the consequences of falls can sometimes overcome the vanity of someone not wanting to seem "old" and/or disabled enough to use a cane or a walker.
There are some fashionable canes if a cane is all that's needed, but it's best if the elder can get over the idea that needing a walking aid is somehow demeaning. Positive reinforcement is wonderful!
As with so many things, there's only so much a caregiver can control. But laying out the potential consequences of taking unnecessary risks can help drive home a point. Good luck,
Carol
She only used the walker when she came to live with us as we insisted on it and could prove to her on a daily basis how much better she walked and her posture was soooo much better; and she agreed! I also would constantly tell her of the ramifications of not using a walker, i.e. falling and becoming bedridden. I told her stories of people falling, etc. and how they became housebound, but could have prevented a fall by using a walker, etc.
Maybe someone on here will have some advice; but, when they don't live with you and are extremely independent and stubborn; they don't listen. That has been my experience, anyway. Good luck.