Complete incontinence now--what are the best products?
I can't believe I am asking this, but we are at our wit's end.
Mother (92) has had a indwelling catheter for over 5 years. I personally am grossed out by it and can't fathom that it could possibly be comfortable or anything other than a last end of life 'appliance'.
About 2 months ago, mom's body simply rejected the cath and no matter what they did, they couldn't make it stay in place. I guess at some point the sphincter just gives up and is completely worthless. So she 'goes' constantly, dribbling all day long. She LOVED that the nighttime bag collected all night's urine, but now she says she has to get up once at 3 am and change pads and diapers. She takes A LOT of stuff to make her sleep, and she wakes up sopping wet--through the bed pad, the depends and 2 extra pads.
Since she drinks maybe 20 oz of fluid a day, I do not see how she can produce so much urine!!
Her urologist refuses to let her have another catheter. She had multiple UTI's and was always having problems with it. BUT, she felt she could at least leave the house.
Her small apartment is literally packed with the huge boxes that these products come in. She doesn't mind having 2 walkers in evidence, 2 huge wheelchairs and a powerchair on proud display, like people who visit DON'T know she's extremely old and immobile. She was mad as a hornet yesterday b/c another box of pads had come and she had nowhere to store them. ( for the record, that's not true, she'd simply have to store a few things and there would be room)
Since she will not get up at night and sleeps 12 hours, what has worked for you? The nighttime catheter and a depends and a couple of extra pads seemed to be OK for night. Now, she's sopped by 1 am and has to get up and deal with a wet bed.
Not really my problem, but YB, who is her CG seems to not think this is a big deal. She has become far more 'out of it' over the last 2 months. Can't keep a conversation going for anything.
I think she should set an alarm for 1 am (or whatever) and disrupt her sleep for a half hour while she changes. She said that was easy for ME to say since I got to sleep all night. Major joke--what 65 yo woman is sleeping 12 hours w.o having to get up to pee? I get up 3 times a night!
Guess I wants the NAMES of incontinence products that you may have come across that are much better than others.
YB is pretty checked out by this and perhaps it is nowhere near as bad as she says. She can't maintain a train of thought anymore and argues over everything.
On the plus side--w/o those nasty, dirty cath bags hanging up, her apt doesn't smell so horrific.
I'm putting this under Burnout so it will get more views--I am a little burned out by her complaining!
WTH?
She was referring to a Purewick system, which I looked up and read about. It SEEMS, on paper, that it might actually work, but the person using it couldn't be tossing around in bed at all. The daily 'fresh' wicks are very expensive, but, shoot, she could quit giving 1/2 of her SS away to sketchy charities and afford these things.
I sent the link to my YB. He doesn't read his emails or texts and as he sleeps 20 hours on the days he doesn't work (he works 2-3 days a week) It could be a week before he sees the email.
Anybody have experience with these? It seems too ingenious to actually WORK!
THANK YOU for your response. I was beginning to think I'd dreamt this up!
I did enough research to see the prices on those, and while mother make freak out--if she can sleep her 12 hrs a night and not get up---shoot, all us kids would pay for a month's supply.
Mother lays down and doesn't move an inch, so I don't think there would be any displacement. You don't use any kind of gentle adhesive or tape do you? Could you? It doesn't look any 'worse' than a tampon, although, shoot, mother hasn't needed those for 40 years! I know it's NOT inserted, in any way)
Did your mom have to have 2 a day? Does she wear one all day also? I'm tired of mom peeing the bed, the chairs, her car, (she doesn't drive, so it's MY car) and her beloved recliner. Nothing is ever dry anymore.
I will run this all by YB. Without his say-so, nothing can happen.
Oddly enough--we have a BD manufacturing plant in my little suburb. One of the things they make there are the PureWick system. IF it works, it would be wonderful.
Thanks for replying!!
if mom is in bed all day we use 2 - one in the morning at wash up and a new one at night after wash up. If you are only using in bed at night then you would only need one. Now if she does spend long periods of time in a recliner at home then you could also use it while she is in place in the recliner - but would have to disconnect one she is moving around etc.
If there is a bowel movement - then you would also need a new one.
I would say try it out for overnights and if it works for her and she spends long periods of time in a recliner during the day then you might start using it when she is there as well.
Bard bought the company who made it (Liberator Medical) which is a few towns up from me in Stuart Florida - mine still ship from the Florida location.
When I came home after moms stroke and all I did wash change and wash her and sheets all day long my friend googled it from seeing it in the hospital with me and found it for in home and I really cannot tell you it saved my life and between the purewick and her air mattress - in 3 years she has never had a bedsore. “Knock on wood” I just wish it was available to more people as I know that I am so grateful for it. 🤞🏼 Fingers crossed for your mom.
I watched the tutorial on how to place the Purewick and I do think it's something she can do for herself. Looks pretty straightfoward to me. As long as she is cleaning herself properly--and maybe taping in different spots each night to keep it from shifting.
She is OK during the day as she can change her own depends. I know she hates the time it takes and it's hard for her to do, but she needs to keep moving. She can sense the 'wetness' of a ddepends with 2 pads inserted--and it's not a problem to change out a couple times a day. It's NIGHT that's a problem.
Just a ?? If your mom moves during the night (which I realize she may not be capable of) does the PureWick come loose? It looks as if it needs to really be tucked in there to do it's job. Having nothing between her and the mattress will result in a soaked bed and that's not helpful.
I am trying madly to get my YB to answer my calls. He has not even made an appt with her urologist yet and she may need a scrip to buy this device.
Again--I am appalled by the amount of urine she can produce!! We did a science project with one of my kids many years ago as to the 'soakability' of diapers. The 'best' diaper was Huggies (20 years ago!) and it held 6 cups of water before it literally exploded. She doesn't INJEST 6 cups of fluid! Never more than 24 oz a day and including the small amount of fluid in her food--I just can't make sense of the math!
Going to download some info about the PureWick and take it up to her today.
Wish me luck. I don't get along with mom at all, but she IS my mother and I feel for her decreasing dignity.
I always have a chux pad under her for leaks as it became easier than having to strip the bed - most of the time they are totally dry. There are washable ones that you lay down under them as well (Amazon has both kinds - reusable and throw away).
I do not use tape and hers stay in place - but you could totally use tape if you found it moved around - the way it tucks in sort of keeps it in place wether underwear or a depend is worn at night will also keep is in place.
i agree with her being up and capable during the day to keep her doing exactly her normal routine to keep her going and using this at night.
I do not need to strip the bed everyday - her clothing is not soak in urine - and mom stays comfortable - dry and sleeps better at night and her skin is amazing considering she has been bed and wheelchair bound for close to 3 years.
I often remind mom how lucky we are that she can purchase it. I really do hope she finds it to be a great solution for her as well.
I do know that Medicare was covering it - but only for a short time and we were not able to get it switch over to Medicare before they stopped covering it. It is a catheter and should be covered under catheter supplies but Medicare requested more proven data - but worth asking her urologist about it. I’m sure Bard and Liberator are doing more trials to present their case and findings so maybe ask if they offer any clinical trials where maybe you could get her in on one and they would provide at no cost?